[LifeAsker]

Every One that I know hate me only my family I haven't got any friend that didn't hate me at the end this happen to me in games in real life in every where I go every one hates my I tired of crying I can't tell anyone that every one I know hates me I don't know why T_T

[COOKIE MONSTER]

Hi
What make's you think that everybody hate's you?

[Fr_Chuck]

And you don't know that, you just believe it,

Next why do you think that ? Are they perhaps disapointed, or perhaps it is you that may be unhappy with yourself

[dontknownuthin]

I want to share a story with you - sorry if it is long. I have often felt in my life that people didn't like me, or found me ugly, or didn't love me, or had rejected me.

For example, recently I became reaquainted with a man from my past. You might say he was the love of my life, and I was heartbroken when he broke up with me many years ago. At the time, he told me honestly that he was sorry to hurt me, and that he was hurting himself as well in breaking up with me. He was committed to going to the seminary and entering the Catholic priesthood and recognized that he could not both date me and become a priest, so we broke up. I put a very negative spin on it and took his actions instead to mean that he didn't like me, that I was an idiot to have thought he loved me, that he must find me fat and ugly, and so on. I totally disregarded the pain he felt in having to choose between me and the priesthood, and made it all about me being "not good enough". I thought he found me repulsive, in fact.

Since we became reacquainted, we've had an amazingly open and honest dialogue and I had an opportunity to share with him the sad and difficult feelings I have had all these years, as I never stopped loving him and never stopped feeling pretty stupid for feeling that way, as I believed, he clearly didn't feel the same for me.

I was shocked and even a bit embarrassed to see that sharing that with him, I hurt him. He loved me then, he loves me still despite decades apart. He was attracted to me then, and he fears that if he saw me again, he'd be attracted to me now - he fears it because he loves being a priest, and still cannot have a woman in his life. He truly has always found me beautiful, has always cared for me, has always wanted to be with me and has missed me. He never had any negative feelings about me. Rather, he grew up expecting and planning to be a Catholic priest and felt called by God to that vocation, which makes a romantic relationship with a woman impossible. And he could not imagine being in my presence and not having a romantic relationship with me - it was impossible. While I was thinking he found me repulsive and ugly and was rejecting me for that reason, he was actually creating distance for the opposite reason - I was a threat to his priesthood because he cared for me deeply and was very attracted to me.

Usually we never get such a window into the heart and soul of others, and I wish I had known this twenty years ago because since that time I got up the nerve to talk to some other very close friends who have been consistently in my life over the years about this experience. They were shocked to hear I had such a low opinion of myself and how others perceive me. For once, I took people at face value and listened, and boy did they let me have it. I learned from them that my friends think very highly of me, think I am smart and attractive and other good things. They don't think I'm perfect, but were really upset by my self-image, to learn what I think of myself. This has been such a significant turn in my life, it has really changed everything to tell you the truth.

So I read your post, and you feel everyone hates you, and I will tell you something - I think you do not think well of yourself. I don't think you have the first idea what others think of you. I think you put too much value in the opinions of people who you don't even respect, and probably brush off what those who know you best think of you. Many people will say things like, "yeah, they have to like me, they are my family". But you know what, if your family likes you - that says it all. They know you, warts and all and if they like you, there is a lot to like about you!

We don't all have close friends in every phase of life. If you don't have friends, add a word to that thought - "I don't have friends - yet". You will. IN the meantime, enjoy your family, and befriend yourself. Focus on your goals, work on what you want to change about you to measure up to your own standards, and change your thought patterns - think of what's right about you, and give yourself a break on the self-criticism.

Things will get better, and a lot of it will have to do with your own mind and what you permit yourself to think. Listen to the people who love you - they will tell you the truth about yourself.