[stephate]

I could do with some really honest feedback from you if you are reading. This is the first time I think I've ever asked other people for help.

I'm a 30 year old girl with a good job (teacher), nice place (rented), great boyfriend etc but there are cracks and I don't know what to do. I can't ask family and friends as I'm scared to break the veneer of my life and be honest. My partner of 4 years doesn't want to get married or have babies, which I feel I'm ready for. I'm in a school I don't particularly like and dream instead of moving abroad as I've worked abroad for 3 years before and love the sense of adventure I got from this, but my partner is a homebird and likes living close to his family. And won't consider a move abroad. I would feel I would be more settled if I had a mortgage on our own home or children with my partner, neither of which he wants as he doesn't feel like he's lived enough and both of which I'd love. Perhaps it's a commitment thing on his part. We have got the stage where we are literally not able to discuss it anymore.

I've thought about leaving, but we love each other. My partner is the kindest, most caring man in every otherway and I'm very much in love with him and am very close to his family. However, I feel like my life is static and that scares me as I'm not achieving anything and I'm not progressing. I'm broody and feel like if babies are not on the cards, then travel should be, but that's not either. My wings feel clipped.

I've been as honest and as succinct as I can be and I'd welcome your honest opinion and advice. Many, many thanks.

[Wondergirl]

I picture you in ten years with no travel memories, no kids, and maybe not even marriage, just sitting disconsolately in a bubbling stew of a dead-end job and lots of questions about who you are and how you are wasting your life.

You can love your boyfriend while you're walking on the Great Wall or on a Rhine cruise or taking photos of the Umbrian countryside or eating bangers and mash after you get back from a jaunt to Stonehenge.

he doesn't feel like he's lived enough

Neither have you. Now, go and live life to the fullest!! And send us a postcard.

[talaniman]

What a conflict, you hate where you are at, and want to leave, but want kids, and a mortgage.

How about travel abroad, and see if bozo is ready when you get back. He is holding you back, with absolutely no promise to give you what you want. But you are so in love with the kindest guy in the world.

That's crap!! Love yourself, and do your thing while you can, before you are an old bitter female who put her life, her hopes and dreams on hold for a guy who hasn't figured his own future out, and unwilling to try.

Yeah you let me know how that love thing works out for you! Love ain't waiting for someone to make you happy, its two people who share happiness! Thought you knew.