[brokin_side]

Threads merged, and edited/T

I'm 15, and my girlfriend is too. I've been dating this girl for 3 months now, and it's a long distance thing. This last month I feel like she's been pushing me away. When I asked her about it, she said that too many people have hurt her in the past. So she stopped letting people get close. Which is unfair, as I haven't, nor will do anything to hurt her. She means a lot to me, and I told her for us to last she needs to trust me, and give me a chance. She said she'll try, which is basically a no. I know its not that easy, but I need to get past this. We've got enough problems without her not wanting me around.

The other day she told me about a dream she had about us, and we were about to have sex, then she woke up. Then she started talking about how she is willing to, and how bad she wants too.

At first I thought great, but then I realized it's too soon, we've only been going out for two months. I rarely see her so I don't know if I will even get the chance, but I'd rather not mess things up with her. Also I know her dad really well, and he'll kick my *** if he finds out afterward.

I need to know what I should do. I really want to, but I don't know if its worth the consequences. But if I tell her no, she'll think I don't like her body, or something. I need help deciding which is worse . I can't lose her yet. If anyone has a suggestion, I'd be very thankful.

[ScottGem]

You tell her you like and respect her too much to get sexual at this point. You also tell her that you you fell that you (not her) are still you young start having sex.

If this causes a break up then your relationship wasn't meant to be. The consequences (jail, pregnancy, fatherhood) are not worth it.


I've merged your two threads since they are related. To help you people will need all this info.

[anonymous11]

Trust takes time to develop in any relationship. It's only been three months. It's true that it isn't fair. When has life been fair? She's been hurt before WHICH is why she's relunctant to let you in. For now, you can only do your part as an understanding boyfriend. You wouldn't be the first person to pay for the sins of others. I would say to give it a little time. Tell her that she doesn't have to trust you right away, but try not to do things to push you away. Remind her that if she does that it would mean trying to sabotage a potentially good relationship. If over a reasonable period, she still does this, then you can reassess the relationship and decide if you want to continue further. Sometimes, it is not within your capacity to fix the damage that has been done by others.

[talaniman]

Relax guy, it takes time to build a relationship, and you need both trust, and honesty, so you can communicate, and resolve your issues. There is no quick fix. Over time, your behavior will gain her trust.

Not sure what you mean about her pushing you away, in a long distance relationship, which are difficult to manage in the first place. But as long as you both honestly express your fears, and hopes to each other, and understand what the other has gone through, then I think you can work together to resolve any issues you have.

That's really the mark of good couples, working together through honest communications to the benefit of you both. You should be having fun getting to know each other at this point in time, though, but the distance makes it hard, and makes some undo stress. Be great if you can explain that distance, and how it affects the being together part.

As for sex, keep it real, and keep it honest. You can love her body without getting her pregnant just by being honest about NOT paying the consequences of making bad choices, and setting some boundaries of good behavior. Girls love compliments. Use them wisely, respectfully, and sincerely, and LEAD out of care and concern, and don't let the FEAR of inexperience bog you down with doubts, and insecurities.

I think then you can relax, and go slow, and enjoy yourselves with each other. Going slow with each other will give you a chance to understand and deal with each others feelings, as well as your OWN.

Good luck, and have fun.

[anonymous11]

15? You have a lot to learn, so does she.