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My mother was just saying something to this extent on Friday, she's like I've been taking care of other people for 33 yrs when are things going to change for me. When she said that I began to wonder the same thing because I've seen her struggle and it really has been a hard one and it's been a hard one on my family as well. I'm a christian as well, I'm only 20 and I know I haven't been through a whole lot but I think that being scared is OK. I say as long as you keep the faith it can only get better and I'm not trying to sound cliché. But there was a point when my family fell completely apart and there's 20 yrs of issues that haven't been resolved and I remember I was so hurt and so angry that I didn't want to believe anymore and that religion wasn't real. But there was something inside me that wouldn't allow me to be that way. I had to believe, I still have my doubts I still have my questions but all of that doesn't compare to the feeling that I have about believing. A lot of times I think of all the negative things that could go on in one day, a week, a month, and a yr. Many people think that's weird and strange but I do it because once you can look at all the bad that could possibly imagine then there's nothing but good things left that will happen. The question you have to ask yourself id that if you take that break will all that is wrong just get better or be easier for you because it'll always be on your mind. I'm still figuring things out for myself about my religion and my mom is too and she's 51. I don't think at any age things will make sense whether religion plays apart or not but in my heart of hearts I believe that those who truly believe with all their hearts like you the LORD will not forsake you. I believe it will come. There were times that I prayed so hard for something to change with my family and it wouldn't and I would stop praying because I didn't seen the point but I would always find myself doing it. Im 20 and my family has been bitter towards one another this long but slowly it's changing. Some people might not think it prayer and that fine but you have to find what soothes you in your situations. I pray that you find peace and clarity I know I might not have answered your question but find someone to actually talk to... especially if they're religious because then you have someone you're talking to that you can relate to. It'll come, I say the same for my mama it'll come soon rather than later!.
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