[FaintReflection]

Hi, my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now.
He is a very good guy, he treats me with respect, does anything for me, and is always with me. He loves me very much and he reminds me every single day&night.
I love him, with all my heart... I can't imagine my life without him, he tells me that he wants to spend his future with me.

You see, he's the longest one I've ever been with and the most serious. And I live with him now (I'm 19 & he's 23)

Thing is, I can't get over his past. I try hard not to let it bother me, but it does... a lot. Sometimes I break down crying, and start asking stupid questions... he tells me the truth, but I just can't handle it... I get so mad about everything he tells me... When we fight, its ALWAYS about his past, and only his past... if only I could get over it...

I hate it... I hate how I am about it. And I'm reminded EVERYDAY of it because of ALL the writings on his wall, I can't even count about how many different girls' names I see on it.
The writings even include things like Him&another girls name beside it saying forever. And his exes name saying "For life" beside it. But he scratched it off already...
This is the girl who he's been with the longest, but ever since I came around he stopped talking to her because of how she is towards me... I'll just say she's jealous and done things like ruining my friendships with other people and sending me messages on Facebook about him.

Anyway, his psycho ex is just another problem... its his past that bugs me the most... I'm NOT in any part of it, even though we were both acquaintances he only treated me as a nobody, a nothing... JUST a girl who he's NEVER even tried talking to...
Sure, he notices friends that are younger than me and he's bothered MOST of them. He snuck them home and did things late at night... it kills me to imagine it, and I can't help it.

I can't accept his past, because they were all my closest buddies that he was bothering, so they've already told me about him (before we were together). And this is how I know about it.
One time, two of my best friends started fighting each other over him... because he's done it with both of them at the same night! Ew.
AND. He tells me that he made 2 other girls pregnant, but they had miscarriages, and these 2 girls are my friends...

I already talked to him about everything, and he says that he's sorry and that he was a stupid kid who thought drinking was cool. Yeah, he was always drunk when he had sex with them. And He tells me that he changed and smartened up.. so he's not like that anymore. He stopped going out before I was with him, he stopped talking to his friends that made him drink all the time, and he ticks other girls off that tried to get to him.

I try to calm myself down by telling myself that I'm his second longest, and that he's in the best relationship he's ever been in, and that I'm the first who he's ever said that he wants to spend his future with...
He tells me, that he wants to start a new life with me by getting married and I'm the first he's asked to live with him...

I... just can't help myself about his past! I don't know what to do to relieve my thoughts about it... I try so hard but I just end up breaking down even more the longer I hold it in.

I know... I know... he loves me, we're both the happiest when we're with each other, and that's all that should matter right? But I'm stuck, in my boyfriends past... and I need help!

[Jake2008]

I would not be involved, at age 19, with a guy who has had two girls pregnant, and writes on his walls. Does he use crayon?

I wouldn't think of this being all about his 'past', because you've only been with him a year- 12 months. It's not like he's garnered sudden maturity under his belt and has now outgrown his frequent sexual conquests- without I take it, even protection from STD's.

Because he has told you, exactly what he has told all the women on his wall about 'love' and 'togetherness' etc. (gag), for you to presume you are more special than they are, is a leap of faith in his character that I would not personally make.

If you stay with him, you will have to accept his past and move past it and believe that you truly are THE one, and move forward, or, see him for more likely what he is. Which is a player, that will most likely have your name up on his wall before you know it.

[Ayoungman]

To anyone first of all that have issues with someone's past I'm going to say. Forget it! Their past is their past for a reason. It's past relationships and past problems that they have faced before they met you that made you fall in love with him in the first place.I had a bad past and my now future husband,yes husband has had to get over it. It took him awhile though as it will you. The way he handled my past was by drinking and then confronting me about it, not the right way to handle things but I will say in this case it worked cause he finally got his feelings out about everything in my past that bothered him. Not saying you should drink but, obviously you need to talk to him about your feelings that you are having now.If the names on the wall are bothering you that bad... paint the wall.A persons mistakes and past don't define them it's the lessons they have learned from the mistakes that make them. Ans honey everyone has a past just some are worse than others. And if you aren't prepared for the answer don't ask the question.

[talaniman]

Maybe you cannot get over his past because you are afraid you will be just another adventure like so many of your friends were before you.

Maybe you cannot get over his past because it was about him using, and discarding your friends.

Maybe you cannot get over his past, because you fell for his crap just like your friends did.

Maybe you cannot get over his past, because you see you being used in the future.

Maybe you shouldn't be with a guy who was a player and a user, and you so far have gone a lot further than your friends he has played and used.

Maybe your gut is telling you that you are as foolish as your young friends before you, or its your turn to be as stupid as they were.

[Homegirl 50]

Maybe you can't get over it because it is in your face all of the time.
This may be your common sense telling you this guy is not for you.

[Fr_Chuck]

Are you living in a house with names on the walls ?

Time to get a gallon of paint and start a clean new wall

If he won't do that, move out the next day, if not the same day