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    kay1995's Avatar
    kay1995 Posts: 12, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 8, 2011, 06:56 AM
    Long distance relationship
    My boyfriend, and I have been in a long distance relationship for 2.5 months. Doesn't seem long, but he is my best friend, so we rushed into things a little too quickly. The last time before this passing weekend, that I got to see him was three weeks ago, and during that time we argued.

    When he first came down, things were OK, but that Saturday night, we went to a party and I drank so much. I did not remember the night, at first. The next morning after my boyfriend left, I realized that I had cheated on him with my ex. This was Sunday, at first I was horrified but eventually I calmed down, wondering if this was a sign saying get out of your relationship now.

    So my question is, after reading my situation, should I continue with my boyfriend and NOT tell him, or break it off. I could not tell him, because it would hurt him more if he knew, rather than didn't.
    TheCompromiser's Avatar
    TheCompromiser Posts: 77, Reputation: 17
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    #2

    Aug 11, 2011, 08:56 AM
    You should always be honest in relationships. Lying can get you into some pretty ugly situations. I would explain the whole thing in detail too and apologize. You shouldn't break things off unless you feel like the relationship won't work, so it's really up to you.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #3

    Aug 11, 2011, 10:23 AM

    In trying to get the time-line straight, was the argument the same visit as the party or was the party the visit after the argument? Have you seen him since the party?

    Do you have a habit of getting so drunk you don't remember what happened?

    How do you know you cheated on him?

    If he went to the party with you, where was he when you had this encounter with your ex?

    Are you sure he doesn't know or suspect something might have happened, if it did?

    Is there anyone else who might tell him or have 'proof'?

    Are you looking for reasons to get out of the relationship? If you are already looking for an 'out' then let him go, but do not expect him to remain friends with you. If you want to keep the relationship, be honest with him. You were at a party and extremely drunk so there is no telling who might know what happened or might put it up on Facebook or You-Tube (or even Twitter.) Do you want him to find out from someone other than yourself?

    You may need to cut back on the alcohol consumption if it leads you to making very bad personal decisions like cheating or leads to you thinking you cheated. Even if this is a one time happening, I would be very careful in the future to make certain it didn't even come close to occurring again.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Aug 13, 2011, 03:49 PM

    Of course knowing your girl cheated hurts more than not suspecting anything. The question really is what was this drunken cheating with an ex (or anyone) all about.

    Maybe you should consider NOT being in a relationship if you can get drunk and cheat, but why not be honest with a guy you are in a relationship with? Why consider taking the cowards way out?

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