My emotions are all wrong?

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Hi I'm 16 and have been suffering depression for a long time. I now will go in the medicine cabinet and just grab a bunch of pills and take them not even caring what they are, I don't do it to get high or anything because mostly it's just benedryl. I like the fact that they make me very tired so...

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I really think I'm going crazy or I'm just not normal I have a child of 7 yrs and I have no feelings for them at all not like some mothers do I've been like this since they were born I've tried but everything they do grates me

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