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    really?'s Avatar
    really? Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 1, 2011, 07:33 PM
    Woman had a baby with my husband what?
    It was a one night stand.. we did split for a while.. but we have worked it out... and things are going well. Our kids are both grown and out of the house. The problem is.. the baby was born early.. but now is fine.. he is 2... All of a sudden the mother is threatening that now she is going to go after my husband for the cost of medical bills from when the baby was in the hospital.. and her lost wages. We have been paying child support all along. What are her chances of being successful at this?

    She is proud of the fact that she slept with my husband.. and has sent me nasty emails of that regard.. which I can provide to an attorney.

    We want is best for this child.. we are tired of playing this woman's games. I have opened my home to this child.. and love him as own... but the mother is making life misserable for everyone (I think she feels threatened.. and perhaps upset that she is now alone)... her boyfriend that she cheated on when she slept with my husband left her. (She also has 4 boys.. single mother)... at least 3 of the boys have different father's.. she has a track record of making bad choices.

    We did not previously have formal custoday set up.. because we were hoping she would work with us.. but since that doesn't seem to be the case.. we are now seaking legal advice this week.

    I really didn't know you could physically see the Devil.. until this woman came along. She is scary.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Aug 1, 2011, 07:54 PM

    No unless it was court ordered you have not been paying child support you have been giving the child's mother gifts.

    I hope it was checks or money orders and child support was written on them. *** some areas do allow retro child support others do not, so most of this will depend on where you live.

    You need to go to court and first get a DNA test to be sure the baby is his. She may have been sleeping with several men and could even be shaking down several men for money for this baby. ** happens more than you know..

    Then you get court ordered visits ( or joint custody) and he gets court ordered child support,
    really?'s Avatar
    really? Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Aug 2, 2011, 10:33 AM
    Comment on Fr_Chuck's post
    The child support IS court ordered... we did all that
    really?'s Avatar
    really? Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Aug 2, 2011, 10:35 AM
    Comment on Fr_Chuck's post
    She is now saying she is going to try to get past medical bills & her lost wages for when the child was born early. Isn't there some penalty for her... for sleeping with a married man. Really seems like I am the only one being punished here.
    kcomissiong's Avatar
    kcomissiong Posts: 1,166, Reputation: 276
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    #5

    Aug 3, 2011, 11:25 AM
    There isn't a penalty for a single person sleeping with another adult. There is a penalty for a MARRIED MAN, sleeping with someone other than his wife, and you and your husband are paying it right now. He opened the door for her to be a permanent part of your lives, and he is the one that should be receiving your anger. That track record of poor decision making does extend to him as well.

    The answer to this question really depends on your location. Several states have provisions that allow the mother to recoup costs of pregnancy, delivery, medical care for the child, etc. He has already been determined to be the father, so that is a moot point. If your state allows it, all she has to do is file, and if she has documentation, she'll probably win.

    He has already been determined to be the father, and should be paying half of medical costs anyway, but your support order should specify how to handle medical and insurance costs going forward. If you all have accepted the child into your home and love him as your own, then contribute to what his mother had to shell out for his hospital care.
    AK lawyer's Avatar
    AK lawyer Posts: 12,592, Reputation: 977
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    #6

    Aug 3, 2011, 11:32 AM

    If there is a child support order already in place, his defense to her suit for medical expenses of the pregnancy would be that she was required to ask for that before (when CS was determined). Not having asked for it then, she has waived it. It is too late to come back and ask for it now.

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