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Unknown1234 · Jul 31, 2011, 07:35 PM

My partner and I live in Houston, Tx. We are a lesbian couple. A year ago my partner's cousin asked if we wanted to adopt her unborn child. We moved her in at 3 months and provided for her through her pregnancy. The three of us went to all doctors appointments. When it came to the formality of the adoption and time to sit with a lawyer, she would always want to put ot off. Our daughter was born and although NO PAPER WORK was ever signed or filed, upon her request on the birth certificate she gave my daughter both mine and my wife's last name. Here we are a year later. My daughter has lived with us from day one, but still because her birth mom never wanted to rushed through the adoption process there is still no legal documents saying my daughter is MINE. Her birth mom is now in a financial bind and is threatening to take our daughter if we do not pay her money. Do we have any legal rights to our daughter? What can I do?

Fr_Chuck · Jul 31, 2011, 08:02 PM

Not a single one

In fact in Texas, one of you may adopt the child, but Texas does not allow gay couples to jointly adopt.

Next you are no relation at all, and can not even legally provide medical care if they child got sick ( sign for hospital and the such)

The mother may come and take the child at any time.
What type of written contract was there ?

The blackmail was most likely her plan all along.

ScottGem · Jul 31, 2011, 08:06 PM

I'm afraid Chuck is right. Didn't your lawyer advise you against paying for anything until the mother agreed? The first or at least the second time she put off signing the papers should have started warning bells ringing.

My advice is to call her bluff, however hard that will be. Give her an ultimatum that if she doesn't sign the adoption papers immediately, then she should take the baby and leave. Oh and without any of the things you bought for the baby except a single set of clothes. Definitely not things like strollers, cribs, etc. But you need to give her the car seat.

Unknown1234 · Jul 31, 2011, 08:09 PM

I have lesbian couple friends who have children together and both have legal rights to their children under Texas law. Also we take our daughter to all doctor appointments with no problem. She has been in the hospital once and there was never a problem. Unfortunately we didn't even get a written contract. This is my wife's cousin. This is the last thing we expected.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 31, 2011, 08:10 PM

Or of course agree to pay the money ( if you can afford it) but only on the condition it is done at your attorneys, after the adoption paper work is signed and final. Your attorney can hold it in escrow pending the legal action.

AK lawyer · Jul 31, 2011, 08:58 PM

Originally Posted by Unknown1234

...Her birth mom is now in a financial bind and is threatening to take our daughter if we do not pay her money. Do we have any legal rights to our daughter? What can I do?

Contact the police.

Texas Penal Code, Title 6, Chapter 25:

"Sec. 25.08. SALE OR PURCHASE OF CHILD. (a) A person commits an offense if he : (1) possesses a child younger than 18 years of age or has the custody, conservatorship, or guardianship of a child younger than 18 years of age, whether or not he has actual possession of the child, and he offers to accept, agrees to accept, or accepts a thing of value for the delivery of the child to another or for the possession of the child by another for purposes of adoption; or(2) offers to give, agrees to give, or gives a thing of value to another for acquiring or maintaining the possession of a child for the purpose of adoption.(b) It is an exception to the application of this section that the thing of value is: (1) a fee or reimbursement paid to a child-placing agency as authorized by law;(2) a fee paid to an attorney, social worker, mental health professional, or physician for services rendered in the usual course of legal or medical practice or in providing adoption counseling; (3) a reimbursement of legal or medical expenses incurred by a person for the benefit of the child; or(4) a necessary pregnancy-related expense paid by a child-placing agency for the benefit of the child's parent during the pregnancy or after the birth of the child as permitted by the minimum standards for child-placing agencies and Department of Protective and Regulatory Services rules.(c) An offense under this section is a felony of the third degree, except that the offense is a felony of the second degree if the actor commits the offense with intent to commit an offense under Section 43.25."

It does seem strange the terminology Texas uses: "possession of a child", but it's a crime nevertheless.

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Or of course agree to pay the money ( if you can afford it) but only on the condition it is done at your attorneys, after the adoption paper work is signed and final. Your attorney can hold it in escrow pending the legal action.

And, you will also note, for you to offer to pay the money would also be a crime.

ScottGem · Aug 1, 2011, 03:21 AM

Originally Posted by Unknown1234

I have lesbian couple friends who have children together and both have legal rights to their children under Texas law. Also we take our daughter to all doctor appointments with no problem. She has been in the hospital once and there was never a problem. Unfortunately we didn't even get a written contract. This is my wife's cousin. This is the last thing we expected.

When you have taken the child for medical care was the mother with you? The fact that your names on on the birth certificate may have helped. But the legal fact is that you do not have any rights to this child until the adoption papers are signed. This may become an issue.

AK has given you some more ammunition to use. Show her the law and tell her to sign the papers or you will report it to the police. I assume the papers have been drawn up. If not you NEED to have them ready for her to sign before you do anything more.

Synnen · Aug 1, 2011, 05:54 AM

You can't give her money in exchange for the baby.

That's called "baby selling" and it is ILLEGAL everywhere in the United States.

What has your LAWYER said about ALL of this?

If you don't HAVE a lawyer---that's your biggest problem. You need one, and you need one YESTERDAY.

AK lawyer · Aug 1, 2011, 06:12 AM

Originally Posted by Synnen

You can't give her money in exchange for the baby.

That's called "baby selling" and it is ILLEGAL everywhere in the United States.

What has your LAWYER said about ALL of this?

If you don't HAVE a lawyer---that's your biggest problem. You need one, and you need one YESTERDAY.

Or, as Texas calls it, "sale or purchase of child" (see my last post).

And I have reservations about ScottGemm's suggestion that OP tell "her to sign the papers or you will report it to the police." That very well might constitute extortion. It would be better to (after perhaps getting her criminal proposal in writing) just report it, and let the birth mother decide what steps she wants to take next. If I were the OP's attorney, the ethical rules I am required to follow would also prohibit me from threatening criminal prosecution in exchange for private concessions. I suspect Texas attorneys are bound by similar constraints.

Synnen · Aug 1, 2011, 07:41 AM

I'm just surprised the OP's lawyer hasn't pushed this further---which is why I suspect there are no lawyers involved.

If the birthmother has not relinquished parental rights in court, and CUSTODY hasn't been established in court, the birthmother probably COULD spin a bunch of lies about her cousin offering to help her and then taking the baby away and all she wants is her baby back.

This is why I caution anyone going into adoption that they NEED a lawyer. Going into an adoption without a lawyer is like going into an appendectomy without a surgeon. You can DO it, but it's probably going to hurt a lot more than if you just did it the right way to begin with.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 1, 2011, 08:42 PM

I reviewed it again, but law changes daily, but Texas will allow one same sex partner to adopt the child that is the child of the partner with the other bio parents permission.

But it still shows that a same sex couple can not adopt a child together. I would check current law. I would also talk to my attorney on the issue of signing the birth certificate and not being bio parent