[m2b]

My husband and I just got married a few months ago, 4 1/2 to be exact. He's been wonderful to both me and my 2yr old daughter and so I was very happy to recently find out I am 4weeks pregnant. However not too long ago I had gotten onto his laptop and stumbled upon downloaded bestiality porn (as in women and animals) there wasn't a whole lot, but definitely more than just a few, and it was joined by a lot of "regular" porn. I then took a quick look at his browser history and though it had been a couple months since he had been on there, there was a wide variety of porn sites visited. Some including animals, and some including phrases such as "brother and sister" or "mother and son" though all of which were adults, there were no children... Anyway, I of course got very discussted and confronted him right away. He had admitted to downloading the bestiality porn, and claimed to had done it a while back when he was serving in Afghanistan. Said he didn't really get off on it, agreed is was discussting, and stated he was in a horrible place over there, and had nothing going for him like he does now. He denied having recently browsing them, claimed he had left his laptop at a friends and it was he who looked into the beastly and incest porn(I know he had left his laptop at work a few times, but can't lay out a timeline) . Nonethe less He's starting to see a therapist And actually got rid of his laptop since that all went down... This is definitely disturbing to me, and something I'm not sure I can get over. So please, is it something that should be shrugged off, or something that should raise a flag. Should I be concerned for my or my daughters sake? Should I cut my losses and turn away running? I've been doing research and all that I've discovered has sent my head spinning even further.

[CravenMorhead]

How long have you when together, from first date until now?

A man's porn collection can be vanilla or can vary wildly. Should you be concerned? I don't think so. Are your children in danger? I don't think so. Should you cut your losses? No.

First things first. A man's porn collection on their computer is usually hidden really well, or at least hidden ineptly. Which means you need to snoop around a little get it. Careful what you look for, you just might find it. The only really concerning porn in my opinion is Child Porn and you stated that you found NONE of that. The bestiality is disgusting, which I believe was the word you were hunting for, but it shouldn't be all that alarming. Sometimes it is just the shock value. It like going out of your way to watch two girls one cup.

As for the incest stuff, Most of that is actually staged so they're just selling the idea. Get a barely legal and a 40+ guy, you can sell it as father/daughter, teacher/student, or a number of other scenarios. In the end it is all a matter of the thought that gets in his brain. I can almost guarantee you it wasn't for your daughter. What you see and what he sees would be two very different things.

What I see is that you're wanting to abandon ship at the first sign of trouble. Emotionally you're a mess about this. I can see that but you have look at it rationally. A few things to consider.
1). He hadn't set off your creep factor before this. No red flags went up before this. You gut wasn't set off before this.
2). He got rid of the laptop.
3). He has gone into therapy over this.
4). It could have been his friends at work, or when he was in Afghanistan,that downloaded or visited those sites to get him in trouble. If it is a pay site then look at your credit cards. There should be charges.

Trust him a little that he is telling the truth about this. Have a little faith. As well you might want to talk to a therapist about this as well because it is affect you.

I believe there is a long and happy future in this marriage if you want to fight for it.

Good Luck.

[Helpful_guy]

I agree too. Give him a chance.

[DaniCalifornia]

Difficult one. I think f I were dating someone for a few months and I discovered that was what he was into, I'd have to end it. Isn't it illegal?

But after all, you're married. I think that changes things.

Be aware he may not even have these specific fetishes, he may have just gotten curious. I've had exes show me some disturbing things, but I wouldn't let it get in the way unless you discover any paedophilic images. What I'd do, is have a discussion with him about fetishes and what you really both enjoy. IT feels nice to be so open, and you may even have a few hidden fantasies you both share. It's a great relationship strengthener!

X Dani G

[Alty]

Personally, I wouldn't read too much into it.

He said he only looked it up a few times because he was bored.

I'm not into porn, nor am I into bestiality, but, if you looked at my browser, you'd be shocked at what you'd find.

Things pop up. Also, I sometimes look up things just because someone suggested it.

I believe that Craven mentioned "two girls one cup". Ya, I've watched it. Not because I'm into anyone eating feces, but because everyone was talking about it. It's almost like driving by an accident. You don't want to see the carnage, but you just have to look. Wish I hadn't. That's forever ingrained in my head. :(

Be honest with yourself. Have you ever looked up something on the internet that someone else might find disgusting? I think everyone with a computer and internet connection has, at some time or another.

He's in therapy, he's talked to you about all of this. He's your husband. Trust him. That's what being in a relationship is all about. You may not always agree with everything the other person does, says, or watches, but if you're committed to that person, you have to work your way through it.

[Fr_Chuck]

I look up all sort ( and I mean all sorts) of strange things asking question here. So sometimes we look at things to see how strange they can get.

But some people like to look at animal/people sex, strange, yes, dangerous not really to my knowledge as long as Lassie stays out of the bed room.

Other porn, sorry, most men look at it, my guess 80 percent on a somewhat regular basis. Not daily but some.
And most men masterbate, often to porn. ** you did not mention it, but most likely he is doing that also.

If he likes to look, that is his fethish, it is not my place to call it right or wrong ( will call it strange for the animal bit)
But for the regular porn, he may stop, but most likely will find better ways to hide it from you, if you have went over the deep end because of him looking at porn.

Regular porn, if he likes to look at it, try to look at it together some, use it as a fore play start if he works for him. *** if you can work with it.

Sex is not for just the bedroom and not just to be done the same way.

[HotHoneyVintage]

Men aren't the only ones that like porn -- but anyway I think it's not too crazy what he was typing in. I have stumbled up some REALLY WEIRD stuff on the internet that I am not at all into -- but did I peek at it? Yea, sometimes I did; out of pure curiosity and just to be able to say 'I know what that is' etc. maybe that's what your hubby was doing too. Possibly he looked at 'mother and son' sex because it's considered taboo. If I were you, I really wouldn't make him feel badly about it, because I imagine that would stop him from sharing anything he thinks you might disapprove of in the future. If it was me, I would've made a joke out of it, to see what he was really thinking about the whole thing & then react accordingly discussing how it made you feel uncomfortable.

[FabULus]

It seems to be willing to make the necessary changes. I would give him a chance. I would require however that he be completely transparent with you. You also need to, no matter how hard it may be for you, but you have to cultivate an open dialogue about this. Don't make him feel afraid to be honest with you about this. Let him confide in you, don't freak out when he opens up to you.

[Aurora_Bell]

Ok... embarrassing story but here goes. When I first turned 21 I went to Mexico with some friends. My friend “Paul” asked me if I wanted to go to a variety show. I agreed, thinking oh this is going to be good for a few laughs. Boy was I wrong. This variety show consisted of a woman and a donkey. Not going to go into much more detail, as I am sure you can all paint the picture. I could have gotten up and walked out, but I didn't. I was NOT turned on by it in anyway, and neither was my friend, but we couldn't help but look! It was apparently an ongoing show, and lots of people went to see it. Alty explained it the best, it's like an accident you don't want to look at but can't help but watch. Mind you this show wasn't 100% hard core, but there were some pretty nasty things happening.

I am a little concerned about the mother-son idea, you would have to ask him what exactly it was about that porn that tuned his crank. The idea of being babied, as of late I have been made aware some grown men get off on the idea of wearing a diaper and being fed from a bottle (what ever floats your boat), or the actual idea of incest. If he is in therapy it shows he is willing to go to great lengths to make things right again. I think you should get a handle from the therapist, and go from there.

Oh and yes, that variety show ranks #1 in my mind of things that cannot be un-seen.