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confusion94 · Jul 27, 2011, 04:42 PM

I have always had problems with making friends and stuff but I am not that type of very shy girl who talks to nobody either. I have a group of friends now and I thought I am over it but some people still point it out to me and this got me wondering. Like I talk to guys online and then I go clubbing with my friends and I see them and I am like hello and stuff like that but it is only a 3 minutes conversation and then I go away. Then the day after they talk to me online and tell me "why did you go away that quick? You look like a shy girl". Or another guy which I really like saw me in a bar and asked me if I wanted a drink and I was really surprised as I think he may like me or else he would just say bye but instead of saying yes I just said no and kept walking :O I don't know what is wrong with me! I have gone out with guys and stuff like that but sometimes I act really awkward! What can I do? And what shall I do in those circumstances to spend some time with them instead of walking off? This sounds silly but it is kind of a problem for me :(

talaniman · Jul 27, 2011, 08:10 PM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/person...ly-581520.html

I think you need more time to get a bit more confident and healed from what you have been through, and for now those online hook ups and bar hopping may not be the right way to build that confidence, or learn more about yourself.

May I suggest more positive worthwhile activities, or some volunteer work on worthy projects that help others.

Be surprised what doing, and accomplishing good things can do for the soul, and outlook on life in general.

confusion94 · Jul 28, 2011, 04:47 AM

I already do voluntary work but I can't stay inside all the time in the weekend, you know you meet people when you hang out

talaniman · Jul 28, 2011, 09:50 AM

Who do you expect to meet at a bar? Or just hanging out? But you are young, and don't think about good clean adult fun, like sports to get you out in the fresh air, or games like bowling, or things that sober people are doing to just have some fun, without expectations of meeting a soul mate, or romance.

Then you can actually learn and practice social skills that bring confidence with being around people and interacting with them.

Heck, you can have a great time at a grocery store if you can smile, and say hi to those you encounter. The options and opportunities are really endless if you look around with an open mind.

confusion94 · Jul 28, 2011, 11:03 AM

I think you didn't understand my point. I don't go out looking for a soulmate, but when you go out clubbing and stuff like that you see a lot of people from your school and I act strange, even they say I look shy, when in reality I like them and want to talk to them