[nkfacin]

Crack addict boyfreind lies and is verbally abusive and walks out whenever he feels like it and comes back whenever he feels like it

[JudyKayTee]

And what is your question?

You had a question the last time he left and got some very good advice. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...rs-576929.html

[kcomissiong]

You have asked a similar question before so you seem to be in the same situation with the same crackhead. He will continue to treat you EXACTLY the way YOU let him for as long as YOU let him. Does that address your concerns?

When you decide to stop letting an addict, user, walk in and out of your life, and treat you like crap, it will stop. Until you make a decision to be different, you will keep getting the same thing you have always gotten.

[NeedKarma]

And why is he your boyfriend again?

[nkfacin]

You have asked a similar question before so you seem to be in the same situation with the same crackhead. He will continue to treat you EXACTLY the way YOU let him for as long as YOU let him. Does that address your concerns?

When you decide to stop letting an addict, user, walk in and out of your life, and treat you like crap, it will stop. Until you make a decision to be different, you will keep getting the same thing you have always gotten.

I know your right I guess I didn't see it and a part of me still doesn't I've spent many years with him and I somewhere along the line I hoped he would get help or change but I know after all these years he won't don't get me wrong there were good times and I miss them but I know I can't compete with crack I thought I could but no one can I'm fighting a force that's stronger than me and he's 49 ;ives with mommy and hell never change I hate being alone and the lonely feeling I have inside everyday I gave 9 years to him and I got nothing in return thank you for your answer and please pray for me that I find a new lkife that's not toxic to me :(

[DrBill100]

i know your right i guess i didnt see it and a part of me still doesnt ive spent many years with him and i somewhere along the line i hoped he would get help or change but i know after all these years he wont dont get me wrong there were good times and i miss them but i know i can't compete with crack i thought i could but no one can im fighting a force thats stronger than me and hes 49 ;ives with mommy and hell never change i hate being alone and the lonely feeling i have inside everyday i gave 9 years to him and i got nothing in return thank you for your answer and please pray for me that i find a new lkife thats not toxic to me :(

Too often outside parties (myself included) view addiction as somehow separate from the individual that is addicted. We then fail to recognize that our subject is a real live person, loved by others, with so many other facets to their personage than addiction. Those who care about the addict see the whole human picture, not just the addiction which is but a part of the individual they love... of the relationship they share.

It is easy to advise you to leave an addict, [if a human can be so reduced] and even criticise you for not doing so... personally, however, it's very difficult to leave someone you love because they are addicted. Seeing and knowing the whole person vastly expands and complicates the picture.

We, the observers, respond summarily to the addiction (a snapshot), you sat through the whole show, the person. Very different perspectives... as you know.

Should you feel the need to further express in relation to your circumstances please know that you have an understanding ear.

[Fr_Chuck]

So basically you can put in a revolving door and let him come and go as he pleases. Or you can take control of YOUR life and it may or may not be with him.

If you are alone and just letting him back in, buy a dog, or have someome new as a boyfriend

[nkfacin]

Too often outside parties (myself included) view addiction as somehow separate from the individual that is addicted. We then fail to recognize that our subject is a real live person, loved by others, with so many other facets to their personage than addiction. Those who care about the addict see the whole human picture, not just the addiction which is but a part of the individual they love...of the relationship they share.

It is easy to advise you to leave an addict, [if a human can be so reduced] and even criticise you for not doing so....personally, however, it's very difficult to leave someone you love because they are addicted. Seeing and knowing the whole person vastly expands and complicates the picture.

We, the observers, respond summarily to the addiction (a snapshot), you sat through the whole show, the person. Very different perspectives... as you know.

Should you feel the need to further express in relation to your circumstances please know that you have an understanding ear.

Thank you dr bill for understanding but I have no choice to sta yaway from him he treats me like crap `walks out and runs home to mommy where she lets him have the run of her house and her he's 40 time to grow up and he comes back when he feels like it as if he did nothing wrong I've tried having a talk with him about things in general and then he doesn't listen or takes things the wrong way and gets mad and won't talk to me for weeks or months and has done this at least 30 times in 8 years I don't want to give up on him but he's pushing me further and further away each time he does this I lose a piece of my feeling for him I treat him like gold and don't get nothing in return he comes over and as soon as he's here he calls the dope dealer and acts as if I'm a dead piece of wood and makes me please feel like nothing to him I cannot continue to let him walk in and out of my life I don't deserve that and when we are together its all `about his crack he doesn't even notice me like in not there to him he's verbally abusive when drinking how much can I take its starting to affect my health and I don't even do drugs or drink if anyone wants to email me who can give me some more insight about addictin to crack please feel free because I'm not sure where to turn anymore thank you email; email removed for privacy