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    Merrywidow87's Avatar
    Merrywidow87 Posts: 24, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 27, 2011, 12:45 AM
    Move by the end of the month or else ts over
    I was seeing a friend of a co worker over the summer. We've both been through bad breakups last year. I was so grateful that I finally met someone who understood what I was going through. I knew by the end of summer he had to go back home, interstate. My mistake I got involved anyway.
    So by the end of summer he left to go home. I thought that was the end. We kept in Low Contact. But maybe a month or two passed and he asked me if I wanted to move in with him. I was surprised especially as he often said we were too different to ever work. But now he'd changed his tune. He said that he thought about it and wanted me to stay. He knew that I was unhappy where I am. I'm really not sure though. I've never lived with someone before and I haven't known this guy for long.

    He got angry and kept giving me ultimatums. A friend told me maybe I should go there for a week or so and try it out. I'ts been about 5 months since he left, so I haven't rushed into anything. Another thing is I think we lack chemistry. I like him but I don't feel that attracted to him. What should I do?
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Jul 27, 2011, 02:58 AM

    If you have a gut feeling, not attracted to him, feel there is no chemistry, then why would you uproot yourself even temporarily and move in with him ? Think about it for a minute.
    Merrywidow87's Avatar
    Merrywidow87 Posts: 24, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jul 27, 2011, 03:33 AM
    I don't know it was just good to finally have someone who treated me good for once.
    BK201's Avatar
    BK201 Posts: 338, Reputation: 150
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    #4

    Jul 27, 2011, 03:44 AM

    Better to get to know him more before moving in. may be you could stay over a weekend at his place and see how things go. Why to waste time and money to move all your stuff, in case if you don't like it there later and have to pull back?
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #5

    Jul 27, 2011, 04:14 AM

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...xt-589518.html

    I can't believe you are jumping from the fire into the frying pan again, Merry. You are really a relationship accident waiting to happen; and here you are posting again about a chance with another loser. One who says "move by the end of the month or its over'. How can you let someone give you ultimatums, especially when you hardly know the guy. If you get involved with this guy the whole relationship will be on ultimatum after another. Don you see this happening ? Just tell him to go jump in the lake.

    Tick
    Merrywidow87's Avatar
    Merrywidow87 Posts: 24, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jul 27, 2011, 06:04 AM
    I met this guy 6 months after my first breakup.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #7

    Jul 27, 2011, 06:32 AM

    He gets angry because you won't move with him. Then he once told you that the two of you are too different to have a relationship with one another. Finally, the killer is there is no chemistry between the two of you and your not attracted to him.

    Now, your left debating should you move in with him it not. Should this even be an option?
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #8

    Jul 27, 2011, 07:04 AM

    Why are you even considering this??

    You're not over the other guy yet but you're contemplating moving in with someone you barely know who's issuing ultimatums...

    Come on that would be really silly!!
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #9

    Jul 27, 2011, 09:00 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Merrywidow87 View Post
    I don't know it was just good to finally have someone who treated me good for once.
    He's getting angry and making ultimatums. That is not treating you good. That is being demanding and controlling.

    You barely know him and have had limited time with him. He obviously was putting on an act when you were together if this is how he acts now. I think you are starting to see the real man and he isn't what you need.

    I would break off all contact with him and move on. There are a lot more men out there and if you are only finding those who treat you like this, then you need to examine where you are meeting them and what signals you are sending out. Also, we tend to attract the same type of men over and over again when we don't take time to heal after a break up or aren't secure in ourselves.

    Take care of yourself and let this person go.

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