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me2u2 · Jul 22, 2011, 08:29 PM

Hi my name is Les I am a mom of 2 childre but my youngust is 15months and he is such a cry baby. I am at the point that I can't take it any more. He is a momma's boy that's OK but when he doesn't get his way he throwws himself on the floor and wacks his head on what ever is closest. I am afraid he is going 2 kill himself the other day my daughter was sick and had to go to the hospital and while there I told my son he can not pull the nurses hair and in front of the nurse and I he through himself off the bed and hit his head on the floor. And he still has the lunp and bruse. I don't know what to do and he also throws things at his sister and hits her and pulls his hair I tried time out but it don't work. I don't believe in spankings because I was always spanked and beaten as a child. I am so stressed out and need some advice anyone have any sugestions on how to keep him from hurting his self. And disapline him

Jake2008 · Jul 23, 2011, 07:07 AM

Good for you for looking for answers to his behaviour. I would be too if he were my son. Also good for you that you know how his behaviour is affecting you, your daughter, and your son.

It's time to get him in to see the Doctor. 15 month old's cannot tell you that they are in pain, or understand enough about their own anatomy to know that it's 'just a tummy ache' or 'just a headache'. They know hurt and respond to it. He could in other words, have something physically wrong with him that is not apparent or obvious. It may not have anything to do with behaviour and discipline whatsoever.

Until you know why he is behaving the way he is, whether it be physically, or behaviourally, only then will you be able to address how to go about dealing with it. Maybe he is allergic to milk or milk products, you just don't know.

It is hard when you are in the thick of it, and see behaviour with no seemingly good cause to explain it. The odd temper tantrum over not getting a cookie is one thing, but the behaviour you describe that is continuous, to me at least, needs to be assessed.

me2u2 · Jul 23, 2011, 09:38 AM

Originally Posted by Jake2008

Good for you for looking for answers to his behaviour. I would be too if he were my son. Also good for you that you know how his behaviour is affecting you, your daughter, and your son.

It's time to get him in to see the Doctor. 15 month old's cannot tell you that they are in pain, or understand enough about their own anatomy to know that it's 'just a tummy ache' or 'just a headache'. They know hurt and respond to it. He could in other words, have something physically wrong with him that is not apparent or obvious. It may not have anything to do with behaviour and discipline whatsoever.

Until you know why he is behaving the way he is, whether it be physically, or behaviourally, only then will you be able to address how to go about dealing with it. Maybe he is allergic to milk or milk products, you just don't know.

It is hard when you are in the thick of it, and see behaviour with no seemingly good cause to explain it. The odd temper tantrum over not getting a cookie is one thing, but the behaviour you describe that is continuous, to me at least, needs to be assessed.

The only time he really acts out and bangs his head is If his father or I tell him NO. once that maggic word comes out everything goes to hell. What my main concern is that he will hurt himself cause he will hit his head on tile floor,dressers,any thing around him. I asked his dr. and he told me it was normal in this stage of his life. I don't know my daughter had tempertantrums but not like this. He is smatter than most kids his age because his sister is in nursry school and sings her abc's and he can say a-q already and count to 4or 5 and that is not bad for a 15 month old my daughter was no where near as verbal as him at 15 months she barley said 4 words. I just would love to know what is going on with my little boy and how to handle it.

Wondergirl · Jul 23, 2011, 10:37 AM

The only time he really acts out and bangs his head is If his father or I tell him NO.

Perhaps do your best not to say no, and find other ways to "say" that word. For instance, silently and physically move him -- pick him up and put him away from whatever he was doing. Sing a little song ("Row, row, row your boat"?) while you move him. Be careful with facial expressions and body language. Smile even when you are correcting him. Make being corrected a "pleasant" and positive event rather than a punitive one. Play with him building towers out of blocks, rolling little cars and trucks around on the floor (with accompanying "Rrrrrr"s), go for walks and count houses or cars and talk about colors and shapes that you see. Have fun with him and keep him thinking.

jenniepepsi · Jul 23, 2011, 04:43 PM

Just a helpful word of advice, at this age he doesn't understand the words, but (and I'm not accusing you, I don't know if you have or not) but don't use phrases like 'he is such a cry baby' in front of him. It can lead to worse problems. Believe me I completely understand where you are coming from, I have thought to myself sometimes 'man my daughter is such a jerk sometimes! " its fine to say things that we don't mean in frustration when our children are NOT around, just remmeber NEVER do it when he IS around even at this age.

Other than that, wondergirl and jake2008 said all that needed to be said :) good luck!

me2u2 · Jul 23, 2011, 05:11 PM

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

just a helpful word of advice, at this age he doesnt understand the words, but (and im not accusing you, i dont know if you have or not) but dont use phrases like 'he is such a cry baby' in front of him. it can lead to worse problems. believe me i completely understand where you are comming from, i have thought to myself sometimes 'man my daughter is such a jerk sometimes!!" its fine to say things that we dont mean in frustration when our children are NOT around, just remmeber NEVER do it when he IS around even at this age.

other than that, wondergirl and jake2008 said all that needed to be said :) good luck!

I never saaid it to him directly but when he has been asleep and in another room I told people how I felt about the baby's actions I know he can't get his way I just don't want to have him hurt his self because I said no.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 23, 2011, 05:15 PM

Let me see what happened to a swat on the rear and telling them to be quiet.

You stop him from doing physcial harm and let him know that acting out will be punished

Wondergirl · Jul 23, 2011, 05:18 PM

Originally Posted by me2u2

I just dont want to have him hurt his self because I said no.

Don't say no. Like I said earlier, move your body to walk over and remove him from doing things you don't want him to do (instead of yelling at him or scolding him). Think of clever ways to divert him -- with singing, whispering, telling a story, clapping your hands merrily, snapping your fingers. You want to move his attention from doing A Bad Thing toward doing A Good Thing.

Wondergirl · Jul 23, 2011, 05:19 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

let me see what happened to a swat on the rear and telling them to be quiet.

That will only make things worse.

You stop him from doing physcial harm and let him know that acting out will be punished

He's too young to be reasoned with.

me2u2 · Jul 23, 2011, 05:27 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

That will only make things worse.

He's too young to be reasoned with.

A lot of times I try to distract him by telling him lets go watch you favorite show or etc. or start singing the abc's because it is his favorite song but for some reason my 3yr old influnces him what ever she does wrong he will follow I tried putting him in the baby gate that has padding under it but of course my 3yr old taught him how to climb it and jump it. I have been trying to encourege him to play with his toys rather than playing with thing he shouldn't be but somehow his sister always ends up with the toy and he is on the floor having a fit or she is screaming cause he has a death grip on her hair I am at my wits end. Will taking him to play counceling help at this age.

Wondergirl · Jul 23, 2011, 05:38 PM

Originally Posted by me2u2

will taking him to play counceling help at this age.

I don't understand. What is this?

Fr_Chuck · Jul 23, 2011, 05:38 PM

Sorry, bull, a swat to the rear is the best thing a parent can do to show a child real love, it never hurts the child, and will end all of that silly tantrum mess

Wondergirl · Jul 23, 2011, 05:41 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

sorry, bull, a swat to the rear is the best thing a parent can do to show a child real love, it never hurts the child, and will end all of that silly tantrum mess

Sorry to disagree. It's beginning to sound like her three-year-old needs the swat, not the fifteen-month-old.

me2u2 · Jul 23, 2011, 06:02 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Sorry to disagree. It's beginning to sound like her three-year-old needs the swat, not the fifteen-month-old.

I don't believe in spanking for childre yet on the other had my husband will spank our 3yr old on the butt when she is not listening or incourges her brother to do the wrong things he always gives her warnings first but I am going to try what you said and move him out the situation and smile while doing so to ensure and protect him from danger if that does not work do you have any other sugestions.

Wondergirl · Jul 23, 2011, 06:32 PM

Originally Posted by me2u2

do you have any other sugestions.

I found out with my first child that swatting and spanking don't work. I was just trying to point out that your 3 y/o may be more of a little stinker than the toddler.

Are you anywhere near a library? There are tons of books on parenting. Some of them are very helpful for dealing with the "terrible twos" which might be what your little boy is getting into. My friend's grandson is the same age and calls his daddy "Papa" and his mommy "No No."

Look at this page --

18 Ways to Say No Positively | Dr. Sears Official Website | Parenting Advice, Parenting Books & more

If all else fails, I may have to come to your house and be a volunteer nanny for a month or two. :)

me2u2 · Jul 23, 2011, 06:34 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I found out with my first child that swatting and spanking don't work. I was just trying to point out that your 3 y/o may be more of a little stinker than the toddler.

Are you anywhere near a library? There are tons of books on parenting. Some of them are very helpful for dealing with the "terrible twos" which might be what your little boy is getting into. My friend's grandson is the same age and calls his daddy "Papa" and his mommy "No No."

Look at this page --

18 Ways to Say No Positively | Dr. Sears Official Website | Parenting Advice, Parenting Books & more

If all else fails, I may have to come to your house and be a volunteer nanny for a month or two. :)

Thanks lol my 2 are like the kids you see on super nanny or nanny 911 I am going nut can't wait till they grow out of this stage

jenniepepsi · Jul 23, 2011, 10:27 PM

I'm on the fence about the spankings. On one hand, my niece and nephew have both responded to it well (2 warnings then a smart swat on the butt) but the swats do not start until 2 years old. Before that they just can't make the desired connection between the bad behavior and the spank. (this is not to say you can't teach a child under 2, just that they will not understand spanking as a consequence)

However I also believe (because of my own daughter, myself, and other childrne I have known) for some children it simply makes it 100 times worse to spank, and positive reinforcement, redirections, and simply ignoring (not rewarding with action of any kind) the bad behavior.

The bottom line is, you MUST find out what works for YOUR children, and both of your children may be different. I don't find anything wrong with spankings, but it is not effective for some children. And I don't find anything wrong with 100% passive parenting (no discaplin, child led home, severe attachment parenting) but it is not right for some kids.

Try different things, and see what YOUR children respond to best.

But I DO advise against spankings for your 15 month old, outside of possibly a swat to the hand if he reaches for something hot or dangerous. He just isn't ready to make the connection yet.

JoeCanada76 · Jul 24, 2011, 04:09 AM

I do not believe that a 15 month old is doing all these things. Is it an excuse of all these falling on heads and everything else to cover up what might really be going on? 15 month old, there is no reason for any kind of spanking. To distract with TV is poor parenting and it sounds like there is horrible parenting anyway. This post sounds to me like it is not the children that need help. It is the parents that need the counseling on how to be better parents. Without using physical or emotional means to carry this out. If it were me, with all these falling on head moments apparently on purpose from a 15 month old would be investigated by child services.

Then again I could be completely wrong but that is what I am getting from all these posts.

me2u2 · Jul 24, 2011, 12:39 PM

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

I do not believe that a 15 month old is doing all these things. Is it an excuse of all these falling on heads and everything else to cover up what might really be going on? 15 month old, there is no reason for any kind of spanking. To distract with tv is poor parenting and it sounds like there is horrible parenting anyway. This post sounds to me like it is not the children that need help. It is the parents that need the counseling on how to be better parents. Without using physical or emotional means to carry this out. If it were me, with all these falling on head moments apparently on purpose from a 15 month old would be investigated by child services.

Then again I could be completely wrong but that is what I am getting from all these posts.

First of you have no right assuming anything. 2nd if you eve had a child in your life you would no when children have fits they do what ever it takes to get what they want whether kick bite slap bang there heads. It does not matter ans long as they get there way. Especially if they are spoiled like my kids. And you would be surprised what a 15month old can do when they are influnced by there older siblings. Another thing my 15month old has never been spanked I am strongly against it. So don't even speak if you first off don't read what was said properly. I would never hurt any of my children and My son did bang his head on purpose because he didn't get his way. I can't stand when people without kids assume what other kids do or do not do.

Wondergirl · Jul 24, 2011, 12:51 PM

if they are spoiled like my kids

Maybe that is part of the problem. On the nanny TV shows, the nanny teaches the parents (not the children).

I can't stand when people without kids assume what other kids do or do not do.

Jesushelper is a father, and, from what I know, a very good one.