[infinitesorrow]

I'm unhappy every night, I cry myself to sleep almost every night. My dad thinks I should know everything he knows about fixing things or building things or cars he expects me to know everything. He doesn't support me in anything I like he made me do soccer for about 9-10 years I don't like soccer. He doesn't approve of anything I like parkour, video games and music. He doesn't like any of it he makes fun of me for parkour I'm teaching myself because he won't put me in lessons. But when he wants something he gets it. Him and my mom went to an auction and got what they felt like they also got something for my brother and all they got for me was "love." I've tried killing myself because of him and each time I've had to think of a reason why I shouldn't maybe because my friends or maybe things will look up with me and my dad but no they get worse and worse. I'm sick of it I can't continue living like this. I'm only happy when I'm lucid dreaming or when I'm nowhere near my family. I ask him about his day and he doesn't even acknowledge me. He says I should be more like my brother. He yells at me for nothing at all. I went to check on him while he was working in the barn I helped him build it was around 1:00 am and I was getting worried because he was using saws and stuff but when I came in there were thousands of mosquitoes in our house and I killed a lot until it wasn't a thick cloud and highly unoticable because I knew he would get mad at me. He later came in letting in thousands more and blamed it on me saying I left the door open and my brother who was on the computer walked in and my dad asked what happened cause I was constantly saying I didn't leave it open and my brother said "he left it open" but he wasn't anywhere near the door. Sure I would believe it if there was a witness but there wasn't. Please help me

Ps Lucid dreaming is when you know your in a dream meaning you can manipulate it and control it but it is rare without training and most people wake up because of excitement knowing there in a dream. In a lucid dream you can manipulate the time your in it too so your not in it for about 15-20 secs max like regular dreams. That's why I'm happiest cause I can manipulate it to my liking.

[mj808]

I'm not a licensed anything OK but I want to help in some way. You and your dad sound like completely different people when it comes to your interests and maybe even personalities. It is so hard for parents when they don't understand their children and sadly, like in your case, they don't know how to cope or communicate. That said, your dad's lack of decent parenting skills is not an excuse to harm yourself.

I hate to sound cliché but there is so much more in this world that needs to be explored by people like you. People who have the ability to feel, people who are strong enough to over come the terrible things life dealt them. You are stronger than you think.

Also, please don't be ashamed to seek out help, be it from a school counselor or a trained professional. We all need help getting through the pain sometimes. No shame in asking for help. The shame is in doing nothing about your situation when you had the chance to make it better.

Things my never be perfect with your father but don't give up on your life because of that. Who knows, you could have the chance to be a better father to your son than he ever was to you.

[infinitesorrow]

Thank you, some people help out so they can say they helped but a rare amount of people help to better the person they are helping and I can honestly say you are apart of that group even if you don't know it you can make a difference

[taylor0042]

Well, I have been having troubles with my father too. He said today that I was a disappointment to him and that he does not want to be my father anymore. He forced me into basketball, only does what is best for him, and then tells me that I need to be more like my sister and stop making my problems everybody else's problems.

My advice to you would be to stay strong. Do not hurt yourself because of him. Tell yourself," I'm not going to allow him to tear me down like that." Be better than him. You know what it feels like to be neglected so make sure your child never feels that way. I honestly encourage you to read "The Purpose Driven Life." It changed my life. I hope everything works out for you and just know that you aren't alone.