[world_of_angels]

We broke up 2 months ago, but during this period there were some contacts from his side that he missed me, but he still wanted not to get back and there were some trials from my side to get him back, but they were useless.
But from a week, I started the no contact rule to try to get him back as this is the golden way to help me in this, I read that I should apply it till a whole month as a minimum period. We are working at the same company but not in the same department, so, we didn't see each other the last whole week and there is no action from his side since that week.
My question is when should I stop the no contact rule and what to do after that period to get him back? And when do I know that he has moved on and I've to get over him?

[talaniman]

Stay NC whatsoever for a year, and get a life that you enjoy with friends, family, and activities that make you happy.

NC is not to get someone back, but to get you healthy, and happy so you can make good decisions for yourself based on facts, and not just feelings. Stick with NC, until you are happy enough to move to better things.

[world_of_angels]

Although I didn't contact him for a week and I'm trying to stick to the NC, but I'm thinking about him day and night and I can't start to do anything even if I like it, because he was my everything... I'm not happy by anything now. I tried over the last 2 months to start to do some activities, but they didn't help, and what calms me down now, that I hope that my absence will hurt him and he will return back to me!!

[talaniman]

Nobody gets over an ex in a week or two, or even 3. It could take months to get back in a groove again. Start now and do fun things whether you want to, or not. How old are you?

[martinizing2]

although I didn't contact him for a week and I'm trying to stick to the NC, but I'm thinking about him day and night and I can't start to do anything even if i like it, because he was my everything....I'm not happy by anything now. I tried over the last 2 months to start to do some activities, but they didn't help, and what calms me down now, that I hope that my absence will hurt him and he will return back to me!!!

NC is not suppose to have any effect on anyone but you.
It is not to hurt him back to you. That would be the worst way possible to attempt a reconciliation ( this is a harsh , cold and callous alert)
That is not going to work IF , and an extremely big if, it takes place at all.

This is the time you need to heal yourself , find out who you are and what you are about and start living an enjoyable life that is beneficial to your mental and physical well being .

You are in the hardest phase still, 2 months is a good start, but only a start.
Stay strong and keep up the good work.
I know how insanely hard this is.
I can also assure you it is worth all the effort it takes.

The pain will fade . It is not fast, it is not easy but it is what it takes to get through this.

We will be here and do whatever we can to help , never hesitate to ask for help, advice, encouragement , or if you just need someone to talk to we will be here for you.

Be focused and stay strong . Better times are ahead.

[amicon]

Though I get it that your hurting it's up to you how you handle this break up.

When it's over it's most often over so accept that and start being good to yourself by building a life that makes you happy.

Stay with the no contact-that's for you to heal-not to get an ex back.

Good luck and take care.

[world_of_angels]

Originally Posted by talaniman
Nobody gets over an ex in a week or two, or even 3. It could take months to get back in a groove again. Start now and do fun things whether you want to, or not. How old are you?

I'm 27... I never meant that I'll get over him in weeks, because I know it will take more much time as we were together 3 years doing all things together! That's why I'm missing him like hell...

I don't want to hurt him back, but I mean to just feel my absence, as the one feels more the things in his hand when he loses it!
I really still love him badly and need him as he is the one I really want to complete my life with. And what push me to start the no contact to get him back more than to heal myself. I know it's not true to think so...
But I'm really losttttttt...

[amicon]

Reality check-he knows you're 'absent'-he broke up with you.

He's moving on with his life-as must you.

[talaniman]

Break ups suck, they hurt like hell! No way around that, and we all know healing is the hardest thing you can do.

[martinizing2]

Like I said, this is the hardest part.
And if you contact him you'll be going through this until you stop.

Every day you stay NC is a step to get away from the pain and confusion.
Every NC break takes you back to the starting line.

I think that in your heart you know this is the end and you are looking for something you know is no longer there , waiting for someone to find an answer you missed.

The reality is that you need to move on as he has done and will continue to do.

You are holding yourself in this hell, let go.

[world_of_angels]

I'll stick to the NC to try to get away as you said and that I'm totally convinced that he is the one who should do the step now, but what if he contact me by testing or a phone call... How should I react?

[talaniman]

Don't answer.

[world_of_angels]

But he didn't do that with me!. when I tried to talk to him before starting the NC period, he was picking up my calls and listen to me and he even met me... I don't want to treat him that bad even if it's our end!
Can't I answer him as short as possible or it may affect me badly?
Or it's better to tell him at that time not to contact me...

[talaniman]

Trying to keep him in your life, and talking to him hoping he will change his mind about you, is a good way to stay miserable.

Tell him to leave you alone if he doesn't want a future, so you can heal, and move on, and find your happiness, without him.

[vanheart]

Have you read all of the stickies?

It seems like you think NC is a ploy to get him back.

That's where you are wrong.

This is to remove the source of your pain & drama. (him) To bring out your inner strength.

Yeah, its hard. But you have to do it for the right reasons. That's to move on, rebuild and become a better person.
One that is stronger, with a better insight into yourself & what it is you want.

And how to be selective in your journey. To be more aware. Period.

Sounds like you REALLY haven't begun the process. The first step is letting go.

Hes not your end all.

[world_of_angels]

Today was nearly the 10th day in the NC period,and this is his 1st reaction, the below is exactly what happened (even with the smileys).
He sent me sms asking "how is life? :)" I didn't reply, then after 3 hrs, he called me, I also didn't answer, then after another 3 or 4 hrs he sent another sms saying " where r u? I'm so worry about u, r u ok?" I replied him back "I'm fine, don't worry :)". Then, he answered " finally, u replied,thanks god u r ok" , then I replied " I was at the course, thanks 4 asking, nighty :)"
What do all that mean? Why is he doing so?
I'm still strong enough to be on the NC deal, but I want to understand why all this?
I'm sure he is missing me badly and still love me, but he doesn't want to get married now, that's why he broke up with me and till the last time we met (2 weeks ago, after nearly 1.5 month of our break up) he told me that he can't imagine & he will go mad if I got married or if I will going to be committed to another one!!
What is meant by this contradiction?

[amicon]

Next time he tries to get in touch,if he does, don't reply .

He's possibly decent enough to worry about your wellfare-but remember-he broke up with you.

No contact means no contact as in d o not reply to their texts or answer their calls.

[talaniman]

He is trying to keep the door open, you confused, so you cannot move on to better things. You can see the thoughts and questions you have when he tries to contact you right?

That's how people get what they want, by being persistent, and as long as you question, instead of ignore, then you can not heal, and get a life for yourself.

[vanheart]

That's to be expected.

Goes with NC.

Most exes don't expect that & want to know where you went. Doesn't mean they want you back.

My ex tried a bunch of times to contact me, bait me, get info from my friends etc...

She only wanted to relieve some guilt.

Just stay NC & don't reply. Pretty soon he will get the message.

Just remember, when someone dumps you, they no longer deserve you time or attention.

Every time you respond, you will have to start NC all over again.

Try going a month, then 2, then 6, then...

[I wish]

Have you read the sticky threads on no contact?

I believe this thread will help you answer a lot of questions: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...nc-510419.html