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    seinna's Avatar
    seinna Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 13, 2011, 07:42 PM
    I'm in love with someone in jail and I want to marry him should I wait?
    I'm in love with my boyfriend and he's in jail going back to prison should I wait too marry him is it a good idea too marry him now ?
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #2

    Jul 13, 2011, 07:46 PM

    Hello s:

    I'd wait.

    excon
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Jul 13, 2011, 08:05 PM

    I would wait
    seinna's Avatar
    seinna Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jul 13, 2011, 08:08 PM
    The only thing is he wants to get married right now

    He keeps asking me I want to marry him now what should I say ?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    Jul 13, 2011, 08:20 PM

    So who cares what he wants ? Learning to wait is a good thing.
    seinna's Avatar
    seinna Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jul 13, 2011, 08:23 PM
    Comment on Fr_Chuck's post
    Well I don't want him too leave me and think I don't love him if I don't want to rush into things
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #7

    Jul 13, 2011, 08:27 PM

    Thus the issue, if he really loves you, he will not leave you. And if he is in jail for a while, you are in control, he needs you, to send him money, to visit him and to provide him a place to live when he gets out.

    Next if he would leave you for that, he does not really love you anyway, in fact if he is threatening to leave you if you don't, leave him, since this is abuse by using emotional control and a very bad thing.

    If he loves you, really loves you, he will not mind waiting.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
    		  
    #8

    Jul 14, 2011, 07:42 AM

    You have a child to think about and you have only been 'with him' for two months (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adopti...er-587337.html).

    WHY is he in jail? How long has he been in jail and how long does he have to go?

    There are some very serious warning signs flashing and blaring if you really think that marrying him and having him adopt your child while he is in jail is a good idea.

    You may have known him for awhile, but dating is very different than knowing someone and being friends with them (if you were.) People tend to change and other parts of their personality come out when they are in a relationship together. Dating is a time to find out if those changes and personality quirks are something you can live with. It takes time and actually being with someone to find out.

    Just because he wants a ready-made family does mean he will be a good husband and father. When you have a child, dating is not a step to skipped over or taken lightly. It should be well tested to make certain it won't collapse under you.

    Please take a long hard look at reality and don't allow daydreams and fantasies to distract you from paying attention to any warning signs in his behavior of your own.
    51 really?'s Avatar
    51 really? Posts: 13, Reputation: 6
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    #9

    Jul 18, 2011, 11:13 AM
    RUN FAR AWAY
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