[heartandsoul]

Yes, of course it's about 'Family Law'. That is understood. Thank you Scott.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, your story about him choking you, may not even be allowed in court, and if so, may not be believed, couples are expected to talk bad about each other, only evidence that can be proved will be taken into consideration.

Also remember your opinion of what neglect is, may be what I think also, but that is not what it is considered in law in most states, merely not paying support or not visiting the child is normally not neglect and it seldom takes away any rights of the parent

[heartandsoul]

Perhaps in this case and in regards to the state that I live in, it will
Ultimately depend on what is in the best interest of the child, which would
Be relative to a) The Age of The Child b) Health c)Emotional ties to parents
d)History of Violence and/or substance abuse e)History of Emotional and Mental
Stability f)Child's ties to her school, friends, and community. Besides, with
His track record he's not likely to be consistent with his visitation anyway.
Father's that abandone their daughters and their daughters mothers and treat
Them with such disrespect should be condemned. What gives them the right anyway
After the mother has raised there flesh and blood without their assistance. We
Live in a very shallow and desensitized world. What a shame it is for our children.

[JudyKayTee]

Here's my problem with this - you are certainly entitled to be upset, to vent. However, much of what you posted is not legal advice or even legal in nature. We all agree that either parent who does not support a child should be scorned BUT legally that carries little weight.

Your arguments (a through f) refer to CUSTODY, not visitation.

And then the same issue is always raised - was the father a wonderful, responsible, respectful guy who then had a child and became abusive to the mother and the child?

Or was he always like this?

Your story was presented here in bits and pieces over several threads (which had to be combined). It is at best scattered and emotional. If you continue in this vein in Court you are going to lose - plain and simple. I know you're upset, but you can't go to Court and argue your personal "beliefs" and how society should handle this situation.

I also think it is very wrong to pin the problems of the mother on the son - and it also falls into the category of "When did you find this out or did you always know and now it's a bargaining chip in your eyes." I think the Court is going to believe the same thing.

When he choked you, was a Police Report filed?

[cdad]

We
live in a very shallow and desensitized world. What a shame it is for our children.

What about when you have a man that has been helping raise the children and being a good husband only to have the wifey cheat and then make false claims of abuse in court so the father is ripped away from his children and turned into a walking wallet by the court system? How is that fair to the children ?

Courts have a proven track record of bias. Ask any dad going through a divorce that has contested custody issues. The whole point is the courts nor the laws are perfect. But here we work with what we can and we try to work with the reality of a given situation. We can't predict an outcome only the likelihood of what may happen if the puzzle comes together. Child custody laws are what truly need to be reformed. The shame is that most marriages end in divorce and most relationships fade away. It is us as adults to deal with it and shield the children. Don't let your attitude lead you astray. It will backfire.

[heartandsoul]

My intention and my strategy is not to share much of this in court at all. I do plan on having an attorney represent me. I'm a very humble woman by nature. However, I've been informed that in any case, I should stand up for my rights and I understand that this can only serve my daughter and I in family court by seeking legal advice and representation. This is a very complicated matter. One that is too complicated to go into on the internet, let alone in a court room. No, I did not file a police report at the time. I was suggesting conseling when it occurred and was afraid of him and hopeful that he would go to counseling and everything would get better. He left shortly after the incident for the second time and resurfaced four years later. He's been dishonest and very manipulative in his approach every time. He's always got a hidden agenda which has had nothing to do with developing a relationship with his daughter, but everything to do with bothering me and getting out of having to pay child support. Doesn't a court consider this behaviour to be disruptive to the child? I've been a very devoted mother. My daughter and I are extremely close and I've provided a stable home and life for her. He on the other hand lives on a huge property where children are unsupervised and wanderers come through to stay temporarily. The bathroom amenties are at least 300 feet from his small one room tent. Which is hardly comfortable for a child that has become accustomed to a more comfortable and convenient living arrangement. He's an extremist and lives a non-conventional life. He is seeking custody. If he follows through with visitation there is a chance that he will ask the courts if he can take her for the weekends. He lives two hours away. She has never been away from me. Wouldn't the courts take this into consideration? My daughter is strong willed and isn't afraid to express herself. She has no desire to get to know him more. She's seen enough of him and his lifestyle to know and express to me that she is not interested in spending any time with him. What will the courts say about that? Will they disrespect her wishes and sacrifice her comfort and happiness?

[ScottGem]

However, I've been informed that in any case, I should stand up for my rights

Yes you should stand up for your rights, but you have to know what your LEGAL rights are. You also have to understand the father has rights to and so does your daughter. As I recall she is not yet a teenager. That means while they may listen to her, not much weight will be put on her preference.

[JudyKayTee]

So - he tried to strangle you. You could have protected yourself AND YOUR DAUGHTER from future abuse by reporting the incident to the Police. You chose counseling - for what reason? To hold the relationship together?

You appear to do a lot of research. Read the statistics on men who abuse their "partners" while in a rage and then turn that rage to their children.

I'm telling you again - you are arguing truth, justice and the American way.

We are telling you the law.

And I'm amazed that your daughter can defend herself, stand up for herself, whatever - against a man she apparently doesn't know. Where is she getting her information? The Court is going to have the same question.