[meganruth91]

Okay I'm a 15 year old girl and I know this isn't normal for you to see things from teenagers on here. My mom and dad have been married for quite a few years now and ever since I was young they've fought.

This is really hard for me to talk about but its to the point where I think I should get help because their fighting could result in more serious actions.

Okay here we gooo.
My dad is a normal loving dad, my mom is a strong person and usually can stick up for anything. But over the years they get into heated arguments about my brother and I. My dad is the one to start these fights due to the fact my mom will stick up for one of us or will do something my dad doesn't like. If its anything such as the computer doesn't work, some things out of place in the house, he doesn't think were trying hard enough, he will flip. I've been told by him that I should quit the sport I love because its not making him any money, that my brother has no life and he just sits on his butt all day and won't make it in the real world. I've saw my mother cry before due to things he's said to her. I know she's hurting about this but she's a strong person and won't show it. She tries to act hard and not let things like this get to her and acts like its normal for her kids to be depressed about listening to their mom get ed at, and not only that but ed at because of us her own children. He made us redo our basement by hand he would get mad if we messed something up and blow up in our faces saying we did something wrong and I can not tell you how many countless nights I've sat on my bed crying cause of the things he's said to me. I don't want to over react about these things but when I go to my friends house I've never encountered anything at this extent. I know its not normal for a teenager to sit and have to worry that their mom being upset instead of having fun and being a normal child. I have talked to my mom about this before and told her I just want to see her happy and this isn't normal. She said she's not going to divorce my dad until my brother and I both graduate for our better. But to me that doesn't make sense his uncontrollable anger isn't helping my grades, attitude, nor friendships. In fact they're pulling them apart. My mom has talked to my dad about counseling for our family and he will NOT do it, he said our family doesn't need it. I'm so afraid for my families lives one of these fights could go out of hand and turn into something so much more devastating. All my dad cares about are materialistic things and could care a less about his family. I want him to realize that family is WAY more important but can't quite grip a way to do it. I just want to see my family happy for once and if that means divorce or separation for awhile I'm willing to give up anything and everything I have. That is hard for me to say but I just want to see my mom happy again.

PLEASEE HELP ME and tell me what needs to be done at this situation.
I'd greatly appreciate it

[valinors_sorrow]

Megan, I am glad you screwed up your nerve and posted here. I too am concerned about your dad's behavior and the atmosphere in your family. What you describe sounds very difficult.

Do you have an adult besides your mom to confide in -- a grandparent, neighbor, teacher or counselor at school? Where I am going with this is you might want to have their help, another adult, in talking again to your mom and convincing her to take some actions. Also they may know of resources to bring into the picture that will also help.

Ultimately, the hope would be that your dad is convinced to change his mind and your folks seek counseling and reconcile their marital problems so you kids don't suffer any more, or short of that they could see that separating is better than fighting. Look around in your world for a trusting adult. Show them this thread, if necessary. From here I send you a hug and say don't give up. We'll find a way somehow.