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Babygirlx · Jul 6, 2011, 04:52 AM

Well me this boy been mates for around 6 months we had a big falling out but now we frineds again I falling in love with him I think he knows but I don't know how get him out of my head!! 1 We kissed but that around 3 months ago we went cinema everything a couple would do but 3 months after which is now we just sorting out friendshiop out we cuddled last week that means nothing but it felt right!! HELPP ME!!

HurtScorpio · Jul 6, 2011, 05:02 AM

I know that you are not going to want to hear this and I am sure you are a very sweet girl. However, the ONLY reason a MAN in his 20's would be "interested" in a girl of age 14 is for sex and sex only. This man is technically a pedophile and if his actions are found out, he could be arrested and put in jail if he is your boyfriend and even if he is your "friend" that is bizarre because he should have friends his own age who have his own interests. What does a 2o something year old man have in common with a 14 year old child/teen? Please get out of this before your parental figures discipline you, place charges on him and he ends up in jail, and begin relations with guys your own age. This guy, whether he tells you or not, does not have any feelings for you. He is taking advantage of your innocence of being young and naïve and you are falling for it. You are still young to date but if you do, stay in your age range and be happy. This guy is garbage and you need gold.

amicon · Jul 6, 2011, 05:04 AM

You're fourteen and if my assumption that you live in the Uk is correct you're underage.

Twentyone year olds who kiss and cuddle girls/boys under the age of consent are committing an offence and could end up doing time in prison.

This man,because at 21 he is a man, is a predator-avoid him at all costs.

Do your parents know that your so called best friend is a 21 year old man?

Babygirlx · Jul 6, 2011, 05:07 AM

I suppose you are right what does he won't from me I 14 but he has a lot of friends around from 14 to 21 so I don't think he just doing it to me but he so sweet he comes gets me from school takes me and my daughter out . And told me that he doesn't love me he just loves me as a best mate! I prob didn't want to hear it but I guessing it the truth I don't know what to do though it hard to walk away if you get me!! :) x But thanks :) x

Babygirlx · Jul 6, 2011, 05:11 AM

Yeah I do live in the UK , and well yeah my mum knows we olny friends but my dad is a bit funny about it he thinks that he after something . My brother and his mates all say that I should be carful and if anyhting happened there girl him but he says what happen 3 months ago all been forgot about I don't say anything or does he , cudding me on Saturday didn't seem like a problem it olny a hug!! :) x

hilarywilson · Jul 6, 2011, 05:17 AM

Oh goodness ladybug slow down. I know you will hate my answer but honey, you are 14. You are learning the ways of the world in life and in love. You have no clue yet what man/woman relationship love is. Love should not be taken lightly. Babe you are lusting. You will do what you want to do because that is human nature and of course your age plays in it. You want advice but you probably want adivce that agrees with what you want. All kids and young adults think older people and parents have no clue what is going on and how they feel. Our advice is mute to you guys. You think your situation is different. Honestly, it isn't. Believe me. I went through close to the same thing but a tad different. I just turned 17 and a guy I worked with asked me to go to a New Years party with the other co-workers. I was shy but begged my parents to go and they agreed. Well it ended up not being co-workers only him and I. Things happened. I never intended on it but it was attention I wasn't getting from guys at the time and family issues made me want to be loved. My experience was not love. It was a 32 year old man taking advantage of a young girl. Me being stupid. Honey that was not how I ever thought my first time would be. The front seat of a car. Over in 3 min if that and I can't remember much other than he was half drunk. There was a high after but a thought of *** was that? My dad found out and kicked me out. I moved in with him and long story short, he ruined my life to a point. He took advantage of me 100% along with other members of my family. I loved him even though he ended up being a drunk. I did all I could for him. I was homeless for a while for him. Stupid I know. After I finally was able to shuck him off, I had to move to another state to do so due to him following me, I realized my love was not love. I didn't know what love was. I realized the only reason I stayed with him and put up with the crap was I didn't want my parents and others who gave me advice to think they were right. I didn't want to hear I told you so. I knew they were right and I knew they knew it. I was stupid. I lived my life and in a few years I met my husband. He is older than me as well. Seems as though the women on my mom's side of the family tend to gravitate towards the older crowd. Carl is 24 years older than me. I will admit I wanted someone with stability and goals. He has a great job and has his own house and land. Coming from a drunk to having Carl is a major turn around. I did like the fact he gave me stability and man the love I felt from him is the greatest thing ever. I still feel every day that love and it grows daily. Now we have a 3 year old daughter and our family is great. Yes, we have issues like all do. But our love keeps us at it and keeps us wanting to make it better. One day, you will find LOVE. When you do, it will hit you like a ton of bricks and you will feel it in your heart from him. Nothing sexually needed. I would go through a million years of BS with the drunk if in the end I knew my Carl was waiting at the end.

It is OK to date. It is OK to cuddle. Please keep out of sex until later. Do me a favor. Look up on the internet the research that has been done on sexual experiences. Your first experience will effect the rest of your exp for the rest of your life. I heard it a long time ago and I laughed. MAN it is true. No girl that I have ever heard of has said "truthfully" that their first time was what they imagined. We like to dream about it. Hon it don't work that way.
I say all this with the assumption you have not had sex. If you have, please stop. One day, and time flys quicker than you can imagine, you will find it.

21 YEAR old boy thinking about 14 year old girl is a crime. I know and understand fully that people can grow to love someone with that age difference and to me age is not a factor. However, 14 is illegal. Wait till you are of age and if you guys feel the same way, then by all means go for it. Right now, you risk him jail time and a permanent record which will stigmatize him for the rest of his life.

Babygirlx · Jul 6, 2011, 05:22 AM

Thanks you that has helped me a lot :) Glad you happy with your husband and your daughter :) But thanks again and I guessing if I play with the 21 year old I going to also loose my daughter 2 :(

88sunflower · Jul 6, 2011, 05:23 AM

Your 14 and have a daughter? Ouch!

On another note every response here is right on the money honey. He isn't interested in you. He is interested in the fact that your so young and he can get away with this. Find someone your own age. He will be nothing but heartache and trouble for you. Listen to your dad, who should put a stop to this completely. Listen to your brother. Something is wrong with this guy if he is 21 and can't find someone his own age.

Also I don't think your falling in love with him. At 14 it's a crush or infatuation. I am not saying you don't have feelings for him I am sure you do. I have been there at your age. But even if its love you will be over it in no time.

Babygirlx · Jul 6, 2011, 05:26 AM

Thanks and well I do sort listen my dad and my brother but you no how is you think there talking rubbish and don't want you to be happy I never understand there just looking out for me! And yes I do have a daughter . And well I guessing I don't really understand true meaning of love well not yet anyway I should be looking out for my daughter and thinking about my exams but its just I can't get him out my head and esically he texting me saying coming get me from school Friday I don't know what to do!! :)

J_9 · Jul 6, 2011, 05:29 AM

BabygirlX... please scroll down to the Answer box. It gives you more room to respond than the Comments feature does.

Babygirlx · Jul 6, 2011, 05:31 AM

Ohhh sorry didn't know :) x

J_9 · Jul 6, 2011, 05:32 AM

Originally Posted by Babygirlx

Ohhh sorry didnt know :) x

That's okay, you are new. You'll get the hang of it.

Babygirlx · Jul 6, 2011, 05:33 AM

Yeah sure I will LOL!x

88sunflower · Jul 6, 2011, 05:34 AM

He is telling you everything you want to hear. He will promise you the moon and stars. I don't want you to be discouraged thinking we are all calling you a kid. But compared to this guy in a sense you are. By law you are a child still. Does he have friends his own age? Don't you find it strange he hangs with someone to young when he can find a girl his age? I mean if you did date with approval what could you do? Sure dinner and movies. But one day what if he wants to go out for drinks and dancing? What about your daughter? Tell him thanks but no thanks for the ride on Friday. That's what you do. If he questions it straight out tell him you feel he is to old. I mean what do you guys even talk about?

Babygirlx · Jul 6, 2011, 05:39 AM

Yeah I know you mean and well I don't mind being called a kid LOL! Always get called mummy make a change and well I think he has boys that friends that his own age but I don't think he has any girls his own age at all with you . And well yeah sometimes I think what does he won't from me:/ . And well my daughter most imporant thing I wouldn't want loose her because of him . And yeah I know and everyhting I took about school he talks about work and everything always telling me how pretty I am and everythingg I talk about to my normal friends but he not my normal friend is he?? And well I know we went cinema cuddled up then went out to the pub he been my house fe times I just think I being to stuborn!!

southamerica · Jul 6, 2011, 05:40 AM

Of course he's really smooth and you can't get him out of your head... he fits the formula so well.

Charming you is easy for him: you're young and inexperienced, he's 7 years older than you which is already a big deal, he seems to have experience doing this.

You say he has a lot of friends your age... that for me is another red flag. How many other young girls have fallen prey to him? That's all he is: a predator.

You have enough to focus on right now including school and your daughter. He cannot add anything to your young life that isn't dangerous and you cannot add anything to his life-period.

Please do what you can to stay away from him. Something's not right with a 21 year old who spends this much time with a 14 year old who ISN'T a little sister.

J_9 · Jul 6, 2011, 05:45 AM

**sniff sniff... I'm smelling a troll.

adviceishere · Jul 6, 2011, 06:02 AM

Get answers from Babygirlx please refrain from using bad language, also this is not a dating site and you need to delet your personal information from your profile, this is a public website and anyone can see your private information.

talaniman · Jul 6, 2011, 04:47 PM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...ed-585875.html

Babygirlx · Jul 7, 2011, 12:42 AM

Yes I suppose that right and I never thought how many girls feel the same as I do :/ and yes I know I need focus on my exams and my daughter there most impornat things in my life but it hard :) I suppose knowing I have my baby girl to look after should give me hope but sometimes it isit enough.