[jdog1997101]

Just last night my boyfriend was kill by a drunk drive and my boyfriend was on his bike on his way up to pick me up and was not wearing his helmet I had to go see him today to say goodbye to him and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life when I saw him I just lost it how can I get over this help me please

[Fr_Chuck]

I am so sorry for your lost. But for one day, or even one month, there is no getting over him. Nor should you be at this point, take time, cry, grieve and miss him.

[RickJ]

I am sorry to hear of this tragedy.

This is not something to "try to get over". You can only work with it one day at a time.

Celebrate his live. Focus on, remember and celebrate his life and the good times that you had.

As Chuck suggested, don't try to think that this is something that you can just "get over".

Take these next weeks and months, too, to focus on the others in your life that you love. It can be helpful in the grieving process.

I and my family will pray that Peace is with you.

[ashley4197]

Sorry to say this only because I know I was sick of hearing it myself. But... I am sorry for your loss!. I Lost my boyfriend a year and six months ago in a tragic accident... And I can honestly say that there is nothing that anyone can say or do for you that will take away any of the pain. I still feel as if my experience with losing my boyfriend happened yesterday. I was Numb... I felt Inhuman to be honest with you, The feelings are just truly Undescribable... My life mind blocked a lot out and all of this was self preservation and out of my control, I can even say that it took me about 6 months to believe it was even true, I do not remember the wake or the funeral, I can only remember little bits and pieces of it... people thought I was on something throughout the services because I just was in another world. It is just horrible and there's no way else to really put it. I read a book that I accidentally ran into and it definitely helped me tremendously! The book is called " Life Lessons"... Written by two authors named David Kessler and Elizabeth kuebler Roth. I had no intentions on picking up this book but it made it home with me and made me feel a lot better. There is no right or wrong way to deal with the situation, but what helps me deal is taking my own advice with all of my feelings. People may hurt for you but only you feel the hurt that you are experiencing. Do not feel guilty for laughing when something is funny, Do not feel guilty for enjoying any moment of your life with out him, Do not pass up on opportunities because you feel you are not ready. This is your life and it hurts to hear it but you are still here! Take whatever comes your way and Live the best way you know how. People watched every move I made after his death, and people are people so they will always talk!. DISREGARD all opinions of others... They have no clue what you have been through! Keep your head up high when you can, and let the tears flow as they go! Be true to yourself and understand that the experience will be with you forever, the sadness will always be there but it will get easier to deal with the sadness. One last bit of advice... Appreciate the Dream Visitations!. they are really hard to wake up to when they are over but I believe in my heart they are really a way of communication with the other side! If it feels real then it is real! ( Regardless of what anyone thinks or tells you)... take care and good luck with wherever your path leads you.

[JudyKayTee]

This is an old thread and the person who asked the question has never been back. However, perhaps someone else will read it.

I agree with everything you've said (I did not find the book helpful but, as you said, we all grieve in a different manner) except for the part about "the sadness will always be there." I don't believe that's true. Losing a loved one is not a lifetime sentence of sadness for the survivor - life does go on.

Of course, my loss was longer ago than yours and we are coming from different places.

[ashley4197]

@ Judy Kay... I agree with you when you state "everyone grieves differently and yes life goes on". Maybe the way I phrased the sadness was a little off, I did not mean that you are sentenced to sadness, but when you think back on your tragedy it will always be a sad memory. Sorry if I offended you in any way.

[JudyKayTee]

No offense - just didn't want the OP to think that the sadness will remain with her forever.