[MeliStylez]

Hello :) My boyfriend and I are new still. About 2 weeks honestly... He lives in San Diego and I live in upstate NY. He's 33 and I am 23. He lives alone with his 2 basset hounds and has two cars and a motorcycle. He repairs air plane engines and makes great money! He has never been married, no kids. He is originally from around my area and has family here. He was in the Navy for 2 years ad also lived in Sicily, Italy for 2 years. I live alone and have been on my own since the age of 20. I have no kids and no pets. I am almost done with my associates degree in social and behavioral sciences.

I am a stripper and make decent money myself and am totally independent. I have the goal of bar tending and to STOP dancing ASAP as soon as my two bar ending jobs go through (waiting on liquor licenses), which he is aware of. He supports me in my decisions and he does not criticize me for my job. I have been 100% honest with him about my work. He even knows that I do bachelor parties and mess around with a girl at the end of each show. He also knows I do web cam. He is perfectly fine with all of this and gets some perverse pleasure in knowing that many men want to be with me so badly but yet he's the only one that I will be with physically and that has my heart <3 I can tell him anything and everything.

We can trust each other and we keep each other entertained for hours on the phone, talking and texting, and skype. We are also very honest about how we spend our time and are both okay with ourselves enough not to be jealous and freak out when with the opposite sex. He wants me to move there. He wants our relationship to be based on friendship (with tons of hot sex), as do I.

We started as friends 4 months ago on Facebook and we would chat about music production, programs, artitsts, performers, dj's, music, etc and we slowly learned things about each other. One day I realized I was quite attracted to his personality and started going through his pictures... I'm very attracted physically! It took me a while but once I realized how attracted I was to him as a person and also physically, it has gone all very quickly from there. We have not met yet BUT I am going there for a week next week. He is buying my ticket.

I know I must be patient with all of this and learn more about him and be cautious, but how soon should I move there? We speak of marriage and children... He suggested I live with him at his 1 bedroom apt in SD and not have to pay rent (which I refuse, I will def throw him money lol) and then we can save up to get a bigger place near the beach together with a yard for his hounds and possibly enough room for a baby SOME DAY years from now haha I feel like I am getting ahead of myself but I wan't out of my ****ty city that I lived in all my life and he has everything I could ever want in a man.

I have an eerie feeling about him that he is "the one". How many times should I visit there before moving? And is this all too far fetched? I have my own beliefs at the moment but interested to see what everyone has to say. I can take the constructive criticism, so fire away :)

[ken007nielsen]

2 weeks you been dating, and your wondering about marriage and such.. it's abit soon I think, but then again it's only day-dreaming so I'm sure it's all right.

I'm glad you found someone you feel this way about, but you need to be honest with yourself. He want's you for your body it seems, let me explain why I think this. You can live with him, pay no rent, want's you for a sex buddy, no relationship. And you said you wanted the same thing and yet you talk about marriage and moving in together..

You should at the very least wait 6 months before moving your life somewhere else..

[amicon]

Slow W A Y down-you don't know the guy-you haven't met him yet;you need to be really careful and realistic-he could be anyone.

If you do go to see him,make sure you meet up in a public place and that you've got somewhere to stay,i.e. NOT in his place.

[talaniman]

4 months of sharing fantasy land electronically, with two weeks of official dating? Look, if you want out of your city, then get facts before you relocate and it sounds great having a place to stay and all, but living with a guy for fun, and hot sex, with no strings attached is a great idea on paper, but is illogical when it comes to making plans for yourself, or your future.

I would say give yourself a year of actual interaction with a stranger, 6 months at least, before you give up anything, or make any commitments. So far, all you have is the upside of this fantasy, and not considered any down side, and there is ALWAYS a downside.

The only fact you have so far, is he is a stranger, a long way from family and friends who love and support you.

Another fact, no telling how you feel about any guy, until the lust has faded, and the love grows, if it's there at all. A year is enough time to know what the hel you have gotten yourself into, so explore from a safe distance, and have a plan B all ready to go. YOUR SAFETY AND SECURITY IS FIRST!!

Fantasy is great, but reality is real, so keep it real! You haven't shared any real time with this stranger whatsoever! And where do electronic partners date?

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, do you really know he is all of those things, not a 44 year old man, who is unemployed and lives in his moms basement. Or worst ( yes) gets worst, more like about 60 percent of the online dating, a married man looking to have some sex on the side

So it appear you both have money, why not fly to where he is and go on some dates

Then if he is for real, take turns about once a month traveling to each others city for some real time.

Then find time for a several week vacation and spend that time together and at a end of a year, get to where you think you are now

[MeliStylez]

I'm not sure why you guys think we want to date "no strings attatched" because we are def about monogamy and against cheating completely. Maybe I didn't make that clear lol

[talaniman]

You are, and he SAYS he is. I think what everyone is saying is to take time to see if he is all he says he is, and all you think he is.

[danielle429]

Honestly it does seem that you may be moving to fast far as moving is concerned, having a long distance relationship and living together are two different things. That is a big step to take. You say that you are only 23 which is still fairly young I can't imagine that you've been in too many serious relationships at that age. You may feel all giddy inside from the new experience but try not to confuse love and infatuation there is a fine line.

By stating that you want to have hot sex maybe a bit much you might be excited by more sexual means than real love, and although you want to get out of your s****y city you need to really think about that, how much do you really know about this man? What do you know about the area you are moving too? Have you any family or friends in California? By that I mean physical friends not Facebook buddies.

For you to be questioning it there has to be a underlying reason, perhaps you been led a stray a before in a relationship that you believed would flourish and never quite did. You seem a little apprehensive, it is very nice that so far you two have been very upfront with each other, and he doesn't mind your line of work, but with that in mind please remember that most men not all fantasize about having a girlfriend with a stripper body and looks.

So take into consideration that there maybe a little of fantasy within his hindsight as well, sex is good and great hot sex is even better but when the sex becomes repetitive and what was once hot has turned luke warm is the friendship strong enough to stand on it's on.

You've been on your own since you were 20 which is very good you must be very independent but do not trade that for any man! So make sure to dot your I's and cross your t's regardless of what you choose to do

Blessings in love and light