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    Andybowyer's Avatar
    Andybowyer Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 22, 2011, 10:08 PM
    Fiancé thinks she's a lesbian
    I've been with my fiancé for 3years and engaged for 6months, she has told me that she thinks she's a lesbian 3 days ago but she still loves me, yesterday she told the girl (who's a lesbian) that she has feeling for her and the girl said she feels the same.

    My fiancé now says that she loves her, and she wants some time apart from the both of us. I'm now staying at a friends and have said that I won't contact her until I hear from her. I love her and want to be with her but I'm wondering if it's gone to far for her to want to stay with me.

    Need advise please
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Jun 23, 2011, 12:13 PM

    Unfortunately, this turn of events will take time to be resolved because its all up to her what she wants to do, and waiting for her to make up her mind isn't fair at all. You don't just come up with this lesbian idea all of a sudden, its been there for years, and she is probably exploring it. Let her if she is, and leave her alone to make up her mind without your influence or friendship. YOU need distance from HER issues, because a partner torn between two people, isn't a good partner to be with, especially while you sit, wait, and hope it works in your favor.

    Be glad you found out now, before the wedding, but you better get to a safe distance to protect YOURSELF.

    Sorry guy, but you better wrap your head around she has been going behind your back with this female all along for it to have gotten to this level.

    That's a deal breaker in my book, as is lying.
    kcomissiong's Avatar
    kcomissiong Posts: 1,166, Reputation: 276
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    #3

    Jul 1, 2011, 08:42 AM
    Let her have all the time and space that she needs to decide without your interference. Do this by dumping her. This is a woman who isn't willing to admit what her own wants and needs are. Do you think she could value yours? I am sorry for the heartbreak, but like tal said, better to find out now.
    Pleasehelpme411's Avatar
    Pleasehelpme411 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jul 8, 2011, 11:58 PM
    Maybe its best to let her take the time to find out of she is a lesbian or not. If she's not and she doesn't feel happy with the person or the other lesbian, its possible she just either isn't a lesbian or just isn't actually in-love with you. I'm not saying my answers are good, but some people just get confused, if it turns out she's not a lesbian and she goes back to you, that is great. But she can't say she loves you if she's thinking of going lesbian with another "Person". Cheating is cheating no matter how you look at it. Love is a commitment that is based on how you interact with each other. Not sexually, but spiritually.

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