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wondering3965 · Jun 3, 2009, 03:55 AM

My boyfriend of 4 months has just moved to my city to be closer to me. He was unable to find a house and is staying with me temporarily until he finds the right place. I have a 3 bedroom, 2 bath house. Both of us are in our early 40s and we get along very well so it's been very nice having him around. He only brought all of his clothes which he keeps in the guest room and his computers (3) which he uses alongside me in my office. He sleeps with me, eats with me, watches TV with me, stays home to run his business from my house... the only thing he doesn't have use of is the other half of my garage. My mortgage is $1850/mo but he only wants to pay $500/mo in rent. How much rent is fair in this situation?

shazamataz · Jun 3, 2009, 04:12 AM

I think $500 would be fair if he is buying his own groceries and helping out with the bills.

wondering3965 · Jun 3, 2009, 04:27 AM

He is buying groceries but not paying a share of the utilities

I wish · Jun 3, 2009, 06:50 AM

$500 sounds fair, that plus groceries comes out to about 1/3 of your mortgage (since you have 3 bedrooms, that's how I got 1/3)

Anyway, if he wasn't going to live with you, those rooms would be empty right? So anything he pays is more than what you had before.

Justwantfair · Jun 3, 2009, 07:02 AM

Along with the fact if he is breaking the bank, paying a mortgage to you, how do you expect him to get enough set aside to move out.

Seeing as it isn't a permanent situation, I would work with what he can afford or is willing to afford.

wondering3965 · Jun 3, 2009, 07:12 AM

Thank you for your replies.

He is not in any way needy financially, he is very frugal and has a lot of money stashed away. The delay in him finding a place to live is him finding the best fit for him, not necessarily financial obstacles. Also, the third bedroom serves as our office which we now share.

Am I being to picky?

Justwantfair · Jun 3, 2009, 07:25 AM

Finances are a difficult meeting ground for many couples.

Maybe just having a sit down and letting him know that you don't believe that $500/m. is fair. You know your situation best and inform him that more of an even split would be fair (or whatever you feel is fair) and take it from there, he will still have an option for moving out if he doesn't like compromised terms.

nomorelosers · Jun 22, 2011, 09:49 AM

Sounds to me as if he has found a cheap place to live... your house! I have been there, and it never ends well. I have also had friends who have had live-in boyfriends pull the same stunt. Either give him a timeline to move out (to his own place) or put this on a steady footing and charge him the local going rent (for house sharing) PLUS half of the utilities and half of the food. Men can sure eat a lot when they aren't paying for food. And a man who works from home is pushing up your electric/heat/cooling bills quite a bit. The real test of your (new) relationship is whether he is willing to pay $500 for rent plus half the food and utilites. There seems to be a growing number of men who think it is acceptable to move in with their middle-aged girlfriends to use them for cheap accommodations. Make sure he isn't building up his bank account at your expense.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 22, 2011, 02:14 PM

He is using your house for his business, eating your food and sharing your bed. For all intense and purposes he is sharing your resident 100% and he ought to be paying more. At least half of everything.

You two are only 4 months into a relationship, he should have had a place to live before he moved there or at least an understanding and agreement by both of you what his contribution would be.