[suzyjen]

If you would see me you would ask yourself twice why am I even in this position. Recently I lost a lot of weight and now I actually look very good.Not to toot my own horn but that's what other comment to me all the time. I basically became from the ugliest fat girl just a year and a half ago to the prettiest girl at least in my woprkspace. I am not trying to be blah, blah about my looks, quite the opposite. I am still behaving like the little ugly fat girl with huge heart forgetting about my looks now and that people may actually take an advantage of me.
Well sure enough my marriage went down the tube and about 7 months ago I met someone I really liked. He approached me first but then kind of backed off because I didn't gave him room. I was confused. Later, I approached him and all he wanted was sex. I never gave it up and it was over before it ever began.
About 5 months ago, I met this guy online who was all over me. Told me that he never had a girlfriend and would really like to be close to me for a long time. Romanced me, forced me to talk about feelings, sent me songs, stayed online with me literally until he fell a sleep. He even started calling me. He would not reveal much about himself in the beginning. Slowly he started doing it. I fell in love. As crazy as it sounds, I feel like I love him and all I seen him is on cam. Well, here we are 5 months later and I'm about to give my life for him and he tells me I am just a friend and nothing more. Really, my heart just broke in half. I understand that we are far from each other and this is not a conventional relationship but we gave each other kisses over phone and on the cam and talked to each other about how much we desire to be together and all that. I tried to help him with various things he deals with. So now I find out I'm just a friend.
Meantime, my ex is using me for sex.
I am on a verge of a nervous breakdown. I really never knew how miserable may good looking people feel, especially if you are nice. I never felt this way when I was the little ugly-fugly. I am almost disgusted now when someone tells me I am happy to know pretty girl like you. I feel like a piece of meat.
My life before was very settled and I am not some ho. I always used to be in a long term relationship.
Why is this happening to me? What do I need to change and how?

[skull_nut]

Be more confident, don't let these men use you
So no more sex for your ex

Be more aware of your new looks, be proud of it (not bratty or anything)
But use it to your advantage, make sure THEY know that YOU know that you're beautiful
If you let them know you're insecure they'll try to turn the tables on you, which can lead to you being taken advantage of. Don't just act confident, be confident.

As for your internet friend all I can say is that internet dating always leads to varied results because for all you know he could've been married, dating, or even gay (don't take that too seriously). Maybe he doesn't know a beautiful lady with a great personality when he sees one. But otherwise, his lack of dedication is not your fault, it can't be fixed of now. So I think you should try to let him go.

I suggest that the next time you meet a guy, you keep a level area of leadership (or higher then him) and don't give him everything he wants. Make sure to be yourself but don't give in, make sure you establish that bit of dominance and know what he's after, make sure he's more interested in a relationship than sex.

Then hopefully you can have a successful relationship without trading in your newfound good looks or your overall nice attitude.

Best of luck Suzyjen

[liz28]

First, stop having sex with your ex. You stated he is using you but your allowing it. Is it to keep him near or just to say you have someone ? I know I wouldn't let someone use me for sex especially knowingly. Next time he asks you for sex not only do you say no but hell no. stop talking him, no more talking.

I am assuming the other guy that your talking about is someone you met off the net. You seem to had got a litle emotional attached to this guy too fast. I think it was due to you wanting someone. You have to realize that you don't need a man to make you happy, happines start from you. You must be capable of making YOU happy and love yourself first. You need to be alone and work on you instead of hoping in false relationship out of convience, no more of that.

Right now you have a very low opinon about yourself and that is called low self esteem.Self esteem is your opinion of yourself. High self esteem is a good opinion of yourself and low self esteem is a bad opinion of yourself.

Self esteem is very important because it affects how you think, act and even how you relate to other people. Low self esteem means poor confidence and that also causes negative thoughts which means that you are likely to give up easily rather than face challenges.

You need to see a counselor, joined a support group to get comfortable with you. It is okay to be alone and getting to know you and through counseling your going grow a strong person and realize you don't need a man to validate who you are.

I am glad that you lost all the weight that you did, round applause. Now you need to get your mental in shape by building up yourself esteem and being comfortable with you. Besides counseling get out and do something you always want to do. Take up a hobby or do some volunteer work but in the meantime, no guys. Best of luck to you and hope you come back.

[IamJustAGirl]

Awww... trust me guys are *******s! You need to just do things for yourself and try your best to ignore these people that are not treating you right... I know I am kind of going through the same thing...

Sometimes, things are not going right but that's when you have to be strong and pick yourself up and show all those *******s that you really don't need them...

GET AWAY from these guys and do something else fun.. learn to do new things that you have always wanted to do... when you are happy and satisfied with what you are doing, you will eventually start to forget the people who treated you bad...

I am only telling you this because I am going through the same thing... when too many people treat you bad, that is how it feels. It sucks I know... I am all right most of the time. But right now I just feel sad tooo... I hope this helps! But you will be fine...

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Old post-2009.

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