[BroncoFord]

I will try to make this very fast. I have been in a relationship for two years now. I knew I loved her more than anything but I often repressed my feelings and was very selfish out of fear of losing in the end (stupid I know). She is a great person that I have hurt over the past 6 months. I have seen things going downhill but it seems it is to late to bring it back. She has been loving through all of this, aways holding out hope that I would come around. We got in an argument five days ago and she said she needed to move back to her parents for some space. Yesterday she came over for her things (just clothes) and said that she needed time to heal and would like for us to start fresh. She just seems so wishy washy about it. I understand her pain and I recognize what's been done wrong. Since this I have realized that my repressed feelings have been a problem with other relationships as of late. I have since seen a counsellor and I'm hungry for change. I'm determined to change myself not just for her but for me and everyone else around me.

I wrote her a letter and sent flowers just to express that I see what is wrong and will be chaniging it no matter what the outcome. She hurts so deeply but I know she still loves me dearly what can I do?

[Wondergirl]

Are you still in counseling? If so, how is it going?

[BroncoFord]

Well it's only been five days but I certainly intend to continue changing. The counsellor told me that she is blown away by how well I have recognized my problem not only with my significant other but also other aspects of my life. She believes I'm headed in the right direction and said to make another appointment if I needed further guidance. I intend on returning. I'm the type of person that when I set my mind to something, anything, there is no stopping me.

[Wondergirl]

Does your girl know any of this? Would she attend a session with you (with the approval of the counselor)?

[BroncoFord]

She knows yes. This all happened Tuesday and yesterday we got together to talk and I told her all that has happened (also in my letter). There were portions of the conversation that she gave me great hope for a future with her and then other times she would say things that I'm analizing to this moment. Like I said she seems so confused with what she wants. I welcomed her to attend a session with me and she was reseptive but would rather not right away.

We have a great life together and we share the same dreams and goals but lately she has been seeing a side of me that wasn't really me.

We have an interesting twist here, I'm very good friends with her family as her brother and I have been best friends for years and we are business partners. It's nearly impossible to carry on with my life while giving her space. My best frined and business partner lives across the street from the parents. I could go on forever.

[Wondergirl]

Give her space and meanwhile get your own life together. Let's hope she will be impressed with what she sees of you and hears about your progress. You sound like a keeper. I hope she will decide that too.

[talaniman]

Must be rough on the girl, being so wrapped up in your life with family, friends, and business. Then you start acting weird and all on her. Of course you scared her, and that made all aspects of her life really scary.

Boy do you have a very long way to go to regain that comfort zone,if you ever do. Glad your in counseling though, and hope you figure out what made you behave the way you did, and find a better way of handling it.

Even if you do, its going to take a while for her to be comfortable with you again, so expect it to take a while. You give her space in the meantime by watching your behavior closely, and not pushing for time, attention, or answers to questions, you may be compelled to ask, and backing away from other areas of her life, like her family. Like a social make over, of habits and activities that involve her. Get your own.