[prettyinpink22]

So I was in love with this guy for 2 years he was my high school sweet heart then things went sour when he moved out of state and couldn't meet my needs well I broke up with him and meet my husband a very short time after that well I got pregnant very quickly after meeting him and he got arrested lost his job the whole 9 so after he lost his job he had no interest to find a new one I was working making good money so he felt no need well now my daughter is 16 months old he has never supported us I have been the sole provider well things aren't going so great right now he doesn't want to have sex with me any more because he watches porn everyday while I'm at school I'm sexualy frusterated I'm emotionally drained and all I can think of is how much my ex loved me and cared about me how he treated me I was his queen I also think of how much sex we used to have yes me and my husband had a lot of sex in the beginning to but he stopped initating sex after maybe 4 months of us being together and the whole two years I was with my ex he wanted me everyday two times a day is it wrong for me to contact my ex?

[I wish]

Depends why you want to contact him again. What's the point?

[JudyKayTee]

Why would you drag another person into the mess of your marriage? If you want out of your marriage, then divorce your husband and THEN start contacting other men.

On the other hand you might try talking to your husband.

[talaniman]

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to JudyKayTee again.

Unhappy with your husband, divorce him, and then get a life that you enjoy. You don't have to go back to the ex, you can get another fine gentleman after you handle your present business.

Unless you think its okay to cheat on the louse you're with now. The sooner you decide where you are going with the mess you're in, the sooner you can make changes for the better.

[JudyKayTee]

OP bounced from boyfriend (who couldn't meet her needs) to getting "pregnate" by new boyfriend to getting married to boyfriend (who can't meet her needs) to looking for someone who can "meet her needs."

I see a life continuing on this path unless there is some intervention or sanity in her life.

Time to look in the mirror and then decide who you are.

[Alty]

Things went sour with your ex because he couldn't meet your needs, but now he's the love of your life because your husband (someone you promised to love forever) can't meet your needs?

What makes you think the ex can meet your needs now, when he couldn't before?

Seems to me that your needs are impossible to meet, seeing as two men have already failed to do so.

Seek counseling to save your marriage, or divorce him. Either way, get counseling for yourself to find out why you need more then anyone you've loved can offer.

[Jake2008]

While the ex boyfriend may seem like a good alternative, because you are feeling frustrated and having the pressure of so much responsibility with your husband not working, it is not a good alterative. Seeing another man will only add to your problems, it will not solve any of them.

You have an obligation, because you are married and have a child together, to work on your marriage first. That means figuring out how to help your husband get back on his feet again. Counselling, a physical checkup, encouragement, etc. If he is as unhappy as you are about him being unemployed, try putting his needs first. He is the 'needy' one here. Not you.

'In sickness, and in health'... remember that?

I don't know why he was arrested, but you don't say he has a drug or alcohol problem. But whatever he got arrested for, he lost his job. That is a big part of this, and why he's been 16 months without finding another job.

Being unemployed is one of those things that happen to people, regardless of the reason, and it is very hard in this economy to just bounce back. Maybe he needs to think about retraining, or other career options through counselling or through headhunters, etc.

I don't know what you have done to address his needs. It seems that you are only concerned about your own, to the point of thinking that another man will solve your problems- particularly your sexual needs not being met.

And again, you think this is all about you because you are resentful that he uses porn. Perhaps he feels like a failure to you, and with how you have presented your relationship, I can see why. Maybe if he felt better about himself, he would feel more encouraged to look for work, and in so doing, your relationship might get back to normal.

But, looking at this (as having been unemployed myself over the years), you don't sound very supportive of him, or have any understanding of what he is probably going through.

As to your question, the answer, for the sake of your marriage, and your child, is to not contact your ex. Under any circumstances, it is never okay to cheat.

[jessi72]

There is no innocent "friendly" contact with your ex and the dynamics of marriage do not allow for this, ever. You will bring in the Hell hounds:) Do not think twice before doing such a thing, THINK A MILLION TIMES!