[cpb424]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 7 months approaching 8. For the first two months we took it slow and only messed around. Finally we had sex, after that it became a frequent thing, we went just about every day having sex for a month. After that it slowed to about every other day, then 3 times a week, now its been over 3 weeks since we last had sex. She will say at night that we need to have sex tomorrow and tomorrow comes and she makes some excuse as to why not to do it. This past week has been the most frustrating for me though, we had been apart for a week because of family conflicts, I get back to our apartment and hug her and try to kiss her but all she does is give me a peck and then pulls away, we had minimal physical contact all week, whenever we did kiss it would just be one peck, no snuggling before sleep she just lays down and faces the wall.

Now we both had to go back to our hometowns for the weekend and we usually call each other every night before bed and chat for 10 min or so. She sends me a text instead saying "Love you. Night." after I had sent one telling her how much I loved her. I am a little baffled by the change in emotions over the past few weeks.

[JudyKayTee]

You live with her. You share her bed. You have sex with her. Supposedly you talk to each other.

Ask her in a non-confrontational way why your sex life has slowed and/or stopped AND why there is no longer physical contact without sex.

Presumably she knows.

[Cat1864]

It sounds like you went from slow to over-drive after the first two months. How long have you been living together?

How much stress is in her life? You mention family conflicts. As in fighting or conflicting family engagements? Are there other stresses in her life-job, school, finances, friends, feeling pressured by people, etc.

You do understand that the frequency of sex isn't constant. It tends to be very frequent at times and then at others months or even years can go by (usually because of medical conditions.)

Do you show her affection when you aren't wanting sex? Do you have intimate moments that don't involve sexual activity? Could she be feeling like that is all you want?

How does her family feel about her living with someone she isn't married to? Even today, some families are against what they see as negative behavior.

Has she tried to tell you there is something amiss, but maybe you haven't 'heard' her? As Judy said, you need to communicate with her. Listen to what she says. If you aren't sure what she means, ask for clarification. She should do the same. Work together on staying together or going separate ways if you are too far apart to compromise.