[youngloverlady]

I cannot seem to orgasm during any kind of sex. I have tried both sex with my partner and by myself to no avail. I My boyfriend and I have tried many positions, and although some feel kind of good, I never get that good of a feeling or an orgasm. I get a feeling similar to having to urinate, but that is it. After a while this feeling becomes annoying and I have to stop my lover by pretending to orgasm. I also cannot stand to have my clitoris touched directly even by myself. It doesn't feel good, it almost hurts. When these things happen, sometimes I tell him it is too sensitive, or that the position doesn't feel good, but usually I fake orgasm. My partner and I have been having sex for about a year and a half. He was my first, and I was not his. I know that he was very good at making other women orgasm before we met, so it's not him.
I feel so bad that I have been faking orgasm with him since we began mutual masturbation, before we even had sex. And it is to the point where I am not turned on by him or by anything anymore.I am seriously worried about our relationship because I do not feel it is right for us to continue as a couple if I am not attracted to him. And this is not a pressure thing that could be keeping me from orgasming because our relationship recently became a long distance one. I question why I am holding to the relationship across the distance if I am no longer attracted to him. I don't even fantasize about sex or him anymore.

While he was still here, and before I lost interest in sex completely I tried about everything to orgasm. I tried mood setting, lots of foreplay, lubricant, toys, and fantasies. I've done all of these things both alone and with my boyfriend. I get a light headed because for some reason I hold my breath a lot during sex, but that is the most pleasurable feeling I get.

Something I think may contribute to this is I used to masturbate more than daily as a young child as a comfort mechanism. For many years I could not go to sleep without doing it. I also was caught by my mother doing it is the bath tub when I was like 5 or 6 and I got in trouble for it, but because it felt good I did it all the time, just not when people could see. Has this scared me or desensitized my zones down there somehow?
HELP PLEASE! I love my boyfriend. I want to be attracted to him again! I want to want sex again period.

[Angelikat]

Don't give up, I highly recommend vibrators of all kinds, fun TOYS and exploring your body until you feel comfortable with ievery inch of it. Try just looking in front of the mirror and slowly touching every inch of your beautiful sensual body.. slowly don't rush. See that you can be the sensual woman that you want to be, be open to touching and feeling, etc. No rules! Experiment.

Have you tried renting an X rated movie and watching it yourself. I have found that one can really learn a lot from these movies! How about really opening up with your guy friend? Perhaps more foreplay, (not always intercourse), just let yourself love yourself be gentile! Perhaps you need to really try more positions while love making, how many can you think of? This can make all the difference. What are your fantasies? I believe that fantasies are meant to be fulfilled... and a good lover will be patient! Men are not mind readers and sometimes if we woman don't tell them where we like to be touched and how we like it, our sexual desires, etc. they won't know that there is any problem and carry on as usual. I love to role play, and to try and think of just how many fantasies I can fulfill for him or myself. Try being to teacher, a man, get all dolled up in garters and hot red pumps... play have fun, and I bet that before you know it... you will experience your dream O! I do ask you darling, to please stop faking it, you are just wasting precious time Be Free... Good luck!