[youngn.ready]

I am not feeling happy in my relationship lately. I have never felt so miserable. I am more intrested in being gay then trying to work through these issue's metophorically speaking.
Should I break up?
P.S: we have two kids and been together almost 7 years now is this normal?

[youngn.ready]

I have a kids and am 23, have acted straight but always thought about guys and friends that were boys when I was jerking off. Now I only feel intrested in looking at naked guys, I don't really care to see to many girls although from time to time I will see some females I find attractive. I have a girlfriend but want to see what its like being with a guy I am gay? Should I emd ,y current relationship if so and come out?

[Cat1864]

Threads merged because they deal with the same issue.

[Cat1864]

This is your post from the Teen Section:

I think you are not gay or bi, all boys have the curiosity you do to see eachother for comparison with self etc. I use to look and some boys while changing in the locker room's. I always wanted to see some nice bodies but I am not gay or bi, hope this helps

In it you seem to know you aren't gay or bi, but here you say you want to experiment. It makes me wonder how truthful you are being about your feelings and if you are looking for a way out of your relationship and using homosexuality as an excuse.

Do you love or care about your girlfriend?

Are you bored with the relationship?

Is sex the only reason you want to get out?

What do you think your responsibilities to her and the children will be after you walk out?

Do you expect her to still be waiting for you should you find that 'being gay' isn't what you want? Should she put her life on hold for you while you explore?

Have you talked to your girlfriend about your feelings and desires or does she think that everything is fine?

I am going to suggest that you look into a bit of counseling before you turn your life (and theirs) upside-down. Be certain that you are having identity issues and not relationship ones. Being homosexual is about more than who you have sex with. It is also about who you want to be in a relationship with and how you see yourself.

[Jake2008]

In addition to the guidance and advice you have already been given, I'd like to add to that.

You have been with the same girl, since you were 16 years old. You have two children together. That fact alone has, in a way, robbed you of that part of your life, when you are really figuring out who YOU are. Instead of coming into your own, with your sexuality in particular, you became a father, and a partner.

You are living one life, and not sure if it is the right one for you. To me this is no different than anyone at any age, who has nagging doubts about their sexuality, and have lived lives in roles that are unnatural. I find it very sad when adults in later adulthood finally understand and take ownership of who they are. So many wasted years by 'doing the right thing'.

I agree that it is time to figure this out, and come to terms with who you are. Try not to think in terms of right or wrong, or being a little 'this way' or 'that way'. Without establishing your identity, and without establishing how best to 'come out' as you say, or how to deal with the decisions you need to make, this turmoil inside you will not just suddenly stop.

Counselling, I agree, is the only way to help you through this. You might also want to consider seeking advice from gay organizations, who will also provide guidance and help. They are no more interested in 'making ' you gay or judging you, than any mainstream counsellor or therapist. They may however, offer you valuable insight and information.

There are no ticky boxes to come up with a probable answer here, nor is there a simple blood test, or brain scan to give you a difinitive answer. It will be hard work to even face the fact that you need to address this at all.

But once you do begin to sort this out, and not hide from the hard work ahead in order to do so, you will be on a path that you choose. Not one that has been chosen for you.