[MeridithBlane]

I'm 19 and my ex is 17. We dated for about six months, which I know isn't a very long time, but I love him. We broke up about 3 or 4 months ago and I still think about him all of the time.

When we first started dating everything was perfect. I loved him from the start. It was just this instant spark.

He is very religious and so am I. But I have made a lot of mistakes in my past that I didn't really want him to know about. So I lied to him and told him I was a virgin. I was raped when I was 17, and I told him about that from the start. But something inside of me just wouldn't let me tell him about the other times.

We had ended up fooling around and had been scared that I was pregnant. I ended up in the hospital with a minor illness and he was there with me the whole time.I got a pregnancy test while there and I wasn't pregnant. Which is great. But earlier that day when we were talking about what would happen if I were, he said that he should have broken up with me when he had the chance.and that now he was stuck with me... which really hurt. I know he loved me. Hes told me a thousand times. I also know that what I did was a lot worse.

After we broke up he found out that I had slept with someone before we started dating. It was along time before but he still found out. We weren't on speaking terms for about a month. Now we talk occasionally but I think about him all of the time. I know that I lied to him and he hurt me but, I love him.

How can I get him back?

( sorry this is so long I just thought I should give the full story.Also sorry about the typos.LOL)

[talaniman]

You don't. You stop the casual, and occasional contact, and let yourself heal, and get a better perspective on all that has gone on. You may have lied, but he lied himself when he told you he loved you so many times, except after he thought you were pregnant, and then the truth came out, he was worried about being stuck with you.

You have much baggage to unpack, and understand why you had to lie in the first place. Until you get that fact squared away with yourself, then you will always have a need to lie, and relationships built on lies never last very long, because the truth comes out eventually.

If you never told him of your past, how did he find out?

[Fr_Chuck]

If you want to get back with him, then talk with him, get couples counseling and try to make it work.
BUT
You were together such a very short time, there were lies though out the time, It seems to be somewhat sexual based and after that he made it clear that it was not a long term relationship that he wanted.

So I am not sure what you are wanting back, a non working relationship or a make believe one that you have dreamed up

[MeridithBlane]

Where I live all of our friends are super close.some of mine knew and told him after we broke up.Thanks so much for your help.

[MeridithBlane]

He did want long term.Idont know if he was just scared or what.I love him.But maybe you're right about it not being healthy.