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    dupe911's Avatar
    dupe911 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 11, 2011, 08:23 AM
    Married woman dates a married man?
    I a married woman, who has always had very strong feelings for her first love we were both 17years old. I made the fatal mistake of breaking up with him ,but slept with him when we saw each other years after. We both still had feeling for one another but never expressed it because I was ashamed the way I broke off the relationship and he was heartbroken. Anyway 25 years on , I have found him and apologies for what I did. The problem is we both are married to other people and have two children each. We still have very strong feeling for one another and can not wait to see each other. So far we say we are friends but once we meet up,we know there will be sex involved. We are scared of what will happen after this. We are taking our children in consideration, but we have wasted some many years apart. We want to be together without hurting anyone, which we know is impossible. What do we ? We are each others' first true loves. My heart belongs to him.We both care about our spouses.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #2

    Jun 11, 2011, 09:51 AM

    Romantic memories are fine-real life responsibilities are a whole different ballgame.

    If you care about your family you stay away from a path that would make you,and him-cheaters.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Jun 11, 2011, 12:35 PM

    So sign over custody of your children to the other parent and agree to pay proper child support and leave them, if that is what you want.

    What you need to do, is separate dreams and real life. A memory is a lot different from how things really were and after years people all change.

    So what should you do, stop any contact with old friend, no text, no emails, no calls, no meetings and get counseling to bring real life better
    0rphan's Avatar
    0rphan Posts: 1,282, Reputation: 240
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    #4

    Jun 30, 2011, 08:09 AM
    You have both managed to have a happy married life, bringing two children into this world with the husband/wife you chose to marry and stay with for 25 years.I would say that's a brilliant achievement in today's world of single parent families,don't add to the statistics by being very foolish,breaking up two homes and detroying your children's and your husband/wifes lifes, none of this is their fault.

    We all had first loves which most of us occasionally go off into our little dream world of... what ifs... but it is pure fantasy, a case of grass being greener on the other side... it isn't...

    This is just a little bit of excitement that makes you feel special again,like we all did when we were young, something out of the ordinary sequence of daily routine, which at times I know can be extremely tedious.It's the same for all families, you get the highs and lows supporting each other along the way,you cannot go back 25 years and pick up from where you left off,even though you may not think so, you will have grown into different people with views,values and responsibilities to those who depend on you.

    You will hurt everyone that loves you, if you go ahead with this infatuation, because this is what it is,it will not last.Having left your children and husband/wife, your relationship will settle down to being every day routine, just as if you were married (that's life) the excitement will have gone, once things are out in the open.You will have lost and hurt those most dear to you, who will not forgive your adultory,you will have broken up two families, uneccessarily... you will never be happy, the guilt will be with you always.

    Should your relationship not work with your boyfriend, then you will be left with nothing...

    You are married... end of story

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