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    bonzi21's Avatar
    bonzi21 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 11, 2011, 07:20 AM
    How to move on from a guy after 15years
    I fell in love with this guy when we were high school. We were close friends for 3 years. After our graduation, we have only seen(accidentally) each other twice. And after that the only communication I have with him is once or twice a year online chat or text message. And now after 15 years, I am still not over him and I still love him. I knew that I am making a stupid mistake by waiting for someone who has no clue.:( I tried to forget him, but every time I start to like another guy, I would get dreams about him and I would think it is a "sign" that I should wait for him. I was doing fine with this illusion I have created in my mind, but then a few weeks ago, we caught each other online and he dropped the bomb and told me he is getting married and asked me if I am able to come home and attend his wedding. :(. Reality hit me hard. I have just migrated to a new country but after his announcement, I have suddenly lost all the "moving-to-a-new-country-excitement" and I have also lost motivation in all the things I do. I lost interest in making friends or trying out new things. I just feel sad most of the time. I have also started to ask myself what is the purpose of my life. I really do not know what should I do.:confused:
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Jun 11, 2011, 08:09 AM

    Please seek professional help, dreams and make believe are great if we understand and keep it in the proper place.

    And no dreams of someone who you have not been with in 15 years is not a sign, it is just that, a dream.

    So now truth and fact are destroying your make believe world, Time to wake up and understand, to him you were a friend, nothing more.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jun 11, 2011, 02:18 PM

    I think once you decide to move on from that fantasy, you will get back to being happy with reality, and renew your faith in yourself.

    Takes time to get over the shock, and the emotional dust to settle.
    BK201's Avatar
    BK201 Posts: 338, Reputation: 150
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    #4

    Jun 11, 2011, 09:56 PM
    15 years is a time which should normally heal any wound. I would suggest you should seek professionals.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #5

    Jun 12, 2011, 02:30 AM

    You're stuck in a dream you created when you were very young.

    It's time to go live in the real world,with real people in it.

    Counselling might be a good idea.
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