[babygirl111]

Threads merged


How do I know if my boyfriend really loves me or is just using me I tell him I love him all the time and he gos you whatever or sure what duds this mean ? I been with this man for abut a year know but he has his bad he leaves all the time to go to his buddys house from like 11 am to 4 or 5am the next morning almost every day and when I ask him what's he dud all that time I get working on cars and all... can iney one help me out with this ?

How do I show my boyfriend I love him and only him when he don't believe in love ? And when I miss up abut 5 weeks ago ?

[BK201]

First of all, some men don't like saying "i love you" like eating breakfast. If he is not responding they way you want when you say you love him, then there should be other ways he might be showing his love. Simple things like being honest with you, trusting you with all his efforts etc. So try to see beyond what he says in words, we(men) are actually bad with expressing love, at least most of us are. May be you might have missed such things.
If there is still something that you don't like, (like him spending most of the time at his buddy's) pull him to a coffee shop and tell him clearly that its not going to work in that way. Tell him once, twice, the third time if he is still doing the same, tell him you won't talk to him unless he stops doing such things. Explain what is right and wrong. If he needs you, he won't do things which hurt you.

[amicon]

Words are cheap,actions speak loud.

It seems you don't have a boyfriend,more a guy who comes

And goes when it suits him.

I'd ask him once what the h**k's going on-then I'd give him

His marching orders if he didn't come back with some

Commitment to being a boyfriend.

[Cat1864]

how do i show my boyfriend i love him and only him when he dont believe in love ? and when i miss up abut 5 weeks ago ?

What do you mean by 'i miss up abut 5 weeks ago'?

Has he always gone over to the friend's house or is this a recent change in his behavior?

To get a better understanding of your relationship:

How old are both of you?

Do either of you work and/or go to school?

Do you live together?

[talaniman]

Why would you depend on someone so much for love when you know he doesn't believe in it. Or believe in showing it, or giving you some attention?

Whatever you did that was so bad, it seems he is resisting all your efforts so what was so what did you do and why did you do it?

If it hasn't been resolved in the past 5 weeks, maybe it never will, and its time to get a better love life, with a more forgiving partner.

[babygirl111]

Na he's been going over there for a long time know... my sis set me up with someone name jim because she don't like my boyfriend and she told me we were going to the movies and when I got over to her house she said she need to get reddy and like 10 minutes later jim came to her house and hung out over there with us and he thinks I f--k this guy when I diddent... I really love him and he is showing me more attention then he had been for 5 mouths know... I don't really what to say the age thing . And I don't live with him I sleep with him and I'm over there all the time he says he works but I don't see no money coming in I bye everything he what's when I can... and bk201 I don't have the balls to tell him that because he will tell me he's going kill himself ,talanimam I don't know why he's changing when I tell him I love him he go you me 2 know I'm trying to work things out with him

[Cat1864]

Baby, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but we really need for you to use proper spelling of words. If you need help, let us know and we will. Right now, it is very hard to understand what you are trying to say and it makes me wonder how much experience in communicating with others you have.

I think you are probably a very nice young woman who may be a bit naïve and caught up in a relationship with someone who is using her naivety to get what he wants. That may be sex. That may be money, etc.

He is manipulating you when he says things like he will kill himself. It is a way to get what he wants and it seems to be working. IF you think he is serious then you need to contact his family/friends and the proper authorities and let them know about his mindset/threats to hurt himself. It isn't your job to deal with it. It is the job of trained professionals.

You say that he is showing you more attention now than he had been. What have you done differently? Have you been pulling away from him, making him promises, or giving him more things?

You don't know his age and you don't know if he actually works (however, if spends all of his time with his friend, he may not unless the friend employs him.) What facts do you know about him?

Do you have any interests outside of the relationship? Do you work and/or go to school?

[BK201]

So, when you say you will leave him, he says he is going to kill him. But at the same time, he cannot at least listen to what you are going through, or even try to understand. It is pure selfishness.
In love and relationships, there can be adjustments, but there can be no compromise. It is either this or that, he cannot have both. And you don't have to go through this either.
Gather up the courage, and tell him. If you find it hard to tell him face to face, tell it by other means.