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    BrandyM's Avatar
    BrandyM Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 8, 2011, 06:21 PM
    How can my boyfriend adopt my baby?
    How can my boyfriend adopt my baby?
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #2

    Jun 8, 2011, 06:23 PM

    First, ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.

    But most likely you will have to be married first. You will also need to get the agreement of the father.
    BrandyM's Avatar
    BrandyM Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jun 8, 2011, 06:38 PM
    Comment on ScottGem's post
    I live in Ohio and the dad is not paying child support or on the certificate
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    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #4

    Jun 8, 2011, 06:49 PM

    First, when posting a follow-up question or info, please use the Answer options at the bottom of the page rather than the Comments.

    Second, it doesn't matter whether the father is on the because or pays support. The court will require he be identified and he agree to the adoption.
    BrandyM's Avatar
    BrandyM Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jun 8, 2011, 07:31 PM
    Comment on ScottGem's post
    There has to be a way around it
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    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #6

    Jun 8, 2011, 07:35 PM

    Again, please don't use the Comments feature to post follow-up.

    If the father's whereabouts are unknown, you may be able to get by as long as you show a good faith effort to have contacted him. Under certain circumstances, like the father being a violent criminal, the courts may terminate his rights. But these are rarities. So it is unlikely you will get an adoption approved without the father's consent.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #7

    Jun 8, 2011, 07:38 PM

    To add to what Scott said, in most places you must also be married for at least one year before adoption will take place.
    BrandyM's Avatar
    BrandyM Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Jun 8, 2011, 07:55 PM
    So what do I do if he is only 18 drinks all the time does drugs and is dating a miner. He has put a kid in the hospital. He lives with his dad (who hits kids) and his bro at his moms house has been in and out of jail?
    AK lawyer's Avatar
    AK lawyer Posts: 12,592, Reputation: 977
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    #9

    Jun 8, 2011, 09:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by BrandyM View Post
    so what do i do if he ... is dating a miner ....
    So what's wrong with dating people who dig precious metals out of the ground for a living? Snow White lived with seven of them, for goodness sake!
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #10

    Jun 9, 2011, 03:30 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by BrandyM View Post
    so what do i do if he is only 18 drinks all the time does drugs and is dating a miner. he has put a kid in the hospital. he lives with his dad (who hits kids) and his bro at his moms house has been in and out of jail?
    I told you what you need to do. You should be going after him for Child Support. Even if you know you won't get anything out of him having a support order over his head may make him more agreeable to consenting to the adoption.

    You will need a lawyer to prepare the adoption petition anyway. So start saving now and when you have been married the required amount of time, the lawyer will help you get his rights terminated, if possible.

    I'm curious though. If he is only 18 how old are you? If you were underage when you conceived, he could be prosecuted for statutory rape.
    GV70's Avatar
    GV70 Posts: 2,918, Reputation: 283
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    #11

    Jun 9, 2011, 07:03 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by BrandyM View Post
    how can my boyfriend adopt my baby?
    Easy. You have to be married at least a year, and after that you have to beg the father politely to relinquish his rights.
    If you may evade the law, you must remember that in the state of Ohio biological father has always superior rights against whoever would-to-be a father.
    You cannot terminate his rights because he has never had them.

    And second-be honest and tell your boyfriend that if he agrees to adoption then if you break up he will be obligated by law to pay 50 % of his income as alimony and child support next 18+ years.
    kcomissiong's Avatar
    kcomissiong Posts: 1,166, Reputation: 276
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    #12

    Jun 9, 2011, 07:56 AM
    As everyone else has noted, your boyfriend cannot adopt your baby. Your husband can with the consent of the biological father. Is there a support order for him to pay?
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #13

    Jun 9, 2011, 08:02 AM

    What do you mean, there has to be a way around it?

    If there is, I'll be the first one to come and "find a way around" YOU keeping your rights. I mean, it's my word against yours, and I could just SAY that you drink alcohol, date minors, don't pay support for your child, are a bad influence, and I want to adopt your baby. So---I'll just get a lawyer and take your rights away without your consent because I want to, okay?

    OF COURSE THERE'S NO WAY AROUND IT!

    And besides---YOU had sex with the guy. What does that say about YOUR judgment in picking guys? And why would ANY court allow a lifetime legal commitment between your child and an unrelated guy (your boyfriend) when YOU haven't made a lifetime legal commitment to him (marriage)?

    I'm betting you're 17, with your head in the clouds, and just don't like the reminder that you slept with a guy that didn't want to be a parent when you decided you wanted to be.

    Get over it, grow up, and go to court for child support, for heaven's sake.
    ma0641's Avatar
    ma0641 Posts: 15,675, Reputation: 1012
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    #14

    Jun 9, 2011, 08:43 AM
    Comment on AK lawyer's post
    You are bad! -but so good! Bet BrM is going HUH?
    BrandyM's Avatar
    BrandyM Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Jun 9, 2011, 10:29 AM
    I'm am 19. What is a support order?
    AK lawyer's Avatar
    AK lawyer Posts: 12,592, Reputation: 977
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    #16

    Jun 9, 2011, 10:42 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by BrandyM View Post
    im am 19. what is a support order?
    You should file a petition with the court, asking that the biological father of your child be ordered to pay child support. Such an order would be called a support order.
    kcomissiong's Avatar
    kcomissiong Posts: 1,166, Reputation: 276
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    #17

    Jun 9, 2011, 10:45 AM
    So wait, you mention that he is not paying child support in one of your comments, and then ask what a support order is? Please do not continue to reproduce.
    kcomissiong's Avatar
    kcomissiong Posts: 1,166, Reputation: 276
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    #18

    Jun 9, 2011, 10:49 AM
    Comment on AK lawyer's post
    As my children always say : "That made my heart feel super happy!"
    BrandyM's Avatar
    BrandyM Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #19

    Jun 9, 2011, 01:15 PM
    I came on here for help and some of you are acting like it's a crime I want my boyfriend who has been there for me since before I found out I was pregnant and I told him before we even started to date that I might be pregnant and he didn't care. The baby daddy won't even talk to me and sits there and says he is ganna take me to court to prove me as an unfit mom if I try and get him for child support and he called me a slut when I told him I was pregnant and said it was not his kid for two weeks and then every time we get in a fight or he don't get his way he sits there and says its not his so srry if I don't think he would be a good dad. And he was never like this till I got pregnant and he started dating a 14-15 yr old he has a bad temper and he hangs out w/ no one but druggys now that me and him broke up. So would you want your kid by some one like that.
    GV70's Avatar
    GV70 Posts: 2,918, Reputation: 283
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    #20

    Jun 9, 2011, 01:20 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by BrandyM View Post
    i came on here for help and some of u r acting like its a crime i want my bf who has been there for me since b4 i found out i was pregnant and i told him b4 we even started to date that i might be pregnant and he didnt care. the baby daddy wont even talk to me and sits there and says he is ganna take me to court to prove me as an unfit mom if i try and get him for child support and he called me a slut when i told him i was prego and said it was not his kid for two weeks and then everytime we get in a fight or he dont get his way he sits there and says its not his so srry if i dont think he would be a good dad. and he was never like this till i got prego and he started dating a 14-15 yr old he has a bad temper and he hangs out w/ no one but druggys now that me and him broke up. so would u want ur kid by some one like that.
    Wait a minute... No one is judging you. You asked a legal question and you got the answer.Sometimes the law is cold. It does not depend on how we think or etc.
    But you CANNOT change the fact that he is the biological father of your child!

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