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    secret_asker's Avatar
    secret_asker Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 8, 2011, 08:40 AM
    Why won't my girlfriend sleep with me?
    My girlfriend recently found out that she's attracted to girl (ie me lol) at first we were truly in love, sex all the time up to 3 times aday ad every morning, ever since we've moved in together a year ago its gradually stopped and now we hardly ever have it... do you think I'm not what she wants? By that I mean gender? I've asked her and she says yes I do fancie you your beautiful but if I'm that beautiful why has our sex basically stopped all of a sudden?
    afaroo's Avatar
    afaroo Posts: 4,006, Reputation: 251
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    #2

    Jun 8, 2011, 08:53 AM

    May we ask youe age?

    John
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #3

    Jun 8, 2011, 09:13 AM

    Along with your age, DO NOT USE CHAT SPEAK.

    If you are an adult, you can type like one. Otherwise, I will assume you are the 12 year old that your text speak makes you look like and delete your posts.
    secret_asker's Avatar
    secret_asker Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jun 9, 2011, 04:33 AM
    Comment on Synnen's post
    May I say I only put girlfriend instead of girlfriend, I'm 22
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
    Adult Sexuality Expert
     
    #5

    Jun 9, 2011, 06:44 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by secret_asker View Post
    my gf jus recently found out that shes attracted to girl (ie me lol) at first we was truely in love, sex all the time up to 3 times aday ad every morning, ever since weve moved in together a year ago its gradually stopped and now we hardly ever have it...do u think im not what she wants? by that i mean gender? iv asked her and she jus says yes i do fancie u ur beautiful but if im that beautiful why has our sex basically stopped all of a sudden?
    Fg, jus, I've, u, your, I've, I'm,

    Write your sentences out in proper English. You have the time and won't lose anything by taking the extra minute or two. It isn't going to change a thing.

    That being said, a lot of relationships tend to wane once you move in together. The thrill of seeing the other person, anticipation if you would, is gone and you start to take that person for granted.

    There is probably more going on here then you have put down. What is the other relational dynamics like? What is the general stress level? Both you seem to be college age, are either of you in college? What is life like?

    You've asked her if you are still what she wants, but I am curious if you have asked her why she's not as receptive to sex any more. It sounds like there is a bit of a communication disconnect here.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #6

    Jun 9, 2011, 07:50 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by secret_asker View Post
    my gf jus recently found out that shes attracted to girl (ie me lol) at first we was truely in love, sex all the time up to 3 times aday ad every morning, ever since weve moved in together a year ago its gradually stopped and now we hardly ever have it...do u think im not what she wants? by that i mean gender? iv asked her and she jus says yes i do fancie u ur beautiful but if im that beautiful why has our sex basically stopped all of a sudden?
    Have you asked her why?

    Stress, being tired, medical conditions, lifestyle changes--all of these lead to a lower libido.

    You say she says she still fancies you, but have you asked her, point blank, why she doesn't feel like having sex anymore?

    Another thing that will KILL sex drive is being constantly pressured for sex. Are you being patient, or are you trying to start something every time you're together?
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #7

    Jun 9, 2011, 09:16 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by secret_asker View Post
    my gf jus recently found out that shes attracted to girl (ie me lol) at first we was truely in love, sex all the time up to 3 times aday ad every morning, ever since weve moved in together a year ago its gradually stopped and now we hardly ever have it...do u think im not what she wants? by that i mean gender? iv asked her and she jus says yes i do fancie u ur beautiful but if im that beautiful why has our sex basically stopped all of a sudden?
    Something isn't adding up. 'Recently' generally means within a couple of months (maybe six months), but you seem to be saying that you are female and have been having sex with her for at least a year. That would imply she has been attracted to females (or just you) for longer than 'recently'.

    Very few relationships can keep up three to four times a day having sex. Life tends to intrude or one person or both find they need more of a connection than physical interaction.

    I think you are stuck on the physical especially since you are bringing up your looks and why doesn't she want you if you are 'beautiful'. Do the two of you have any intimacy that doesn't end up in 'bed'? Do you think that sex is the only way a couple shows love?

    What is the rest of your relationship like?

    How old is your girlfriend?

    And along with the others, do the two of you communicate-not only about sex but other things going on in your lives?

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