[livfields]

I'm 16 and I've never been asked out or kissed a guy etc etc. I'm a really bubbly, down to earth girl and I'm not unattractive, I was recently on a family holiday with some family friends and the mum kept telling me, this guy was checking me out and that guy was going to come over. But nothing happened! I can be pretty shy when it comes to people I don't know but when I get to know them it's fine. What am I doing wrong and what can I change?

[Alty]

Being shy can sometimes put people off. Sometimes it comes off as being a snob, even though that's not what you intend.

Have you ever approached anyone, asked anyone out? If there's a guy you're interested in then take the plunge. Sometimes you have to go after the things you want. :)

[livfields]

That's my problem, I'm not confident enough to approach someone! :/ aah..

[talaniman]

Maybe just engaging people in a friendly way will help with your shyness, and being in a setting to make friends, and getting to know people will make you more comfortable, like an activity you enjoy, a sport, anything that involves a group having fun, and as you make friends, you increase your exposure to people who are attracted to your bubbly side.

Shy people tend to hide their good points, and there is nothing more confidence building than group activities that you like, and are good at, like volleyball, or dancing, or singing.

Be bold, and try things, even if you have never done it, to bring out your daring side and help overcome fears, no matter where they come from.

Confidence can be built over time if you are open to approach doing things, and interact with the people who are doing them with you.

Few of us can just walk up to strangers and start talking to them, but you can practice being friendly to strangers you encounter, like the check out person at the grocery or market, and know that most people are as shy and nervous as you are before they actually get to know someone.

You can do this, it just takes determination and willingness to give it a try.

Good luck, and let us know how you are doing.

[Wondergirl]

The trick is to stop thinking and worrying about yourself and look at -- really look at -- and focus on the other person. Let's say you are paying for things at a store. Start with female cashiers so you don't seem like a flirt if the cashier is a guy. Look at the (female) cashier. Is there something about her -- her hair style, her shirt color, her smile -- that stands out? "I really like the way your hair frames your face. I'll have to try that style" or "That color blouse lights up your face." When I was hospitalized two years ago, one of my black aides had long black braids. "It must take hours to braid your hair" was all I said. She happily launched into a monologue about her hairdresser's patience and how she is able to wash her hair without taking out the braids and how much fun it was to add little bows and beads when she goes out on a date." I was properly impressed and learned a lot about braids that day.

So think of the other person and maybe turn it into a learning situation. People (especially females) love to talk about themselves. With guys, I try to stick with sports or cars or music or tv shows, not "personal" stuff unless it's so obvious, like the UPS Store clerk who had multiple piercings all over his face: "Wow! What interesting piercings! How long has it taken to get them all done?" (He told me his tongue piercing hurt the worst to have done.)