[polle22]

Hi my boyfriend of 5 years and my friend acting very weird I think they have slept together but have no proof she doesn't text me or ring me when we all do meet up they looking at each other and she leaves the pub or he gets drunk and is allover her

[mandy676]

You could, in a non-confrontational way, ask both your boyfriend and friend. I think I would start with the friend first - perhaps just tell her that you've noticed that she's been a bit distant or strange lately, and ask her if anything is wrong. Alternatively, you could try reverse psychology on her - confide in her and tell her that you think that you boyfriend is cheating on her, tell her you think this because he's been acting strange. You might be able to pick something up from her reaction.
As for your boyfriend... why is he "all over her" when he gets drunk? If he's acting that way right in front of you, it doesn't seem like he's trying to hide it at all. You should at least ask him why he acts like that, and of course tell him to stop.

[Fr_Chuck]

You say he is "all over her" boyfriends don't get all over anyone else. That is enough, you can not prove anything, if you have lost trust, just let him know, but if he is "all over' anyone, then perhaps it is time to be "OVER him)

[mandy676]

Fr_Chuck is right - why are you allowing him to be "all over her"? Has that sort of behaviour been common for you guys? It obviously does bother you, so you need to talk to him about it.

You and your boyfriend have been going out for a long time, so I know that it won't be easy to just "get over him" and walk away. I suggest that you evaluate your relationship - apart from his cheating (if that is what's going on), how is your relationship? If he is/did cheat on you, would you feel like there's something to salvage?
For many people, cheating in a relationship is a complete deal breaker and no-no. I think most people would theoretically feel that if their partner ever cheated on them, that they would end the relationship immediately. But life is NOT black and white, and you might be surprised at what you're actually willing to put up with when placed in that situation. You seem to have done nothing about him being "all over her" up until this point. That suggests to me that you might be willing to look the other way about his cheating, and try to work through it with him. Ask yourself - do I want better than this? Or am I happy to stay in this relationship and try to save it?

Whatever you decide, make sure it's a decision you can live with, and make sure that it's for YOU. At the end of the day, you're the only one that you need to justify yourself and your decisions to. Good luck.

[talaniman]

Get rid of the drunk boyfriend. Why does she and you allow his behavior when a knee to the balls, drunk or sober ends all that. Talk to your friend, like you should be talking to the drunk you are with.

[amicon]

Time to end it.

Make them both exes-ex boyfriend and ex friend.