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marie_bee · May 30, 2011, 08:10 PM

I have this friend "Matt" and him and I have been best friends since we were in 3rd grade (we're both 24 now) When we were kids we were on and off boyfriend/girlfriend (obviously that never stuck because we were just kids) and we were always hanging out together. He was even there the day I lost my virginity to his best friend.

We've always thought about hooking up but the most we ever ended up doing was kissing and usually one of us backs out and say the usual "I don't was this to ruin our friendship" Speech... Lol. So we never actually did the deed until last night.

Right before it happened I was the most nervous I had ever been in my whole life and I don't even know why.
(he was also nervous but not as much as me) I even had to tell him to give me a few minutes before we started because my heart was beating so damn fast.

It wasn't the most passionate sex I've ever had, and that's a good thing because I feel that would have changed things, but it was very intense seeing how it was years and years of sexual frustration we've been holding in towards each other. It was weird because at first we were both like teenagers not sure what to do. At one point he even said to me "I don't know what moves I should do right now because I don't want to offend you" (seriously I was like huh? )

After it was all done everything seemed like usual, nothing different really. I didn't hang out because I didn't want him to think I needed to cuddle or anything. I love him and all, but I know I'm not at risk of really falling in "love love" with him. What I'm worried about is how he's going to act about me talking to him about other guys and just how's he's going to be after all of this.

What am I suppose to do after this? How am I suppose to act?? Would it be wrong to do it again if he asks me if I want to?

Right now I'm thinking if I call him or txt him he's going to think I'm being needy or whatever when really I just want to call him like I usually do. Help! Now what?

Wondergirl · May 30, 2011, 08:29 PM

And if you don't text him like you normally do, what will he think?

marie_bee · May 30, 2011, 08:32 PM

I don't really know... I haven't txted him at all and I didn't hear from him. Am I suppose to iniate the conversation with him?

Sumitkumar7266 · May 30, 2011, 08:47 PM

Text him.. Behave normally.. You love him but don't want serious relatioship.You want him to listen about other guys.. That's pathetic.. Be with him like you was before.Your love started after the friendship.Don't ruin your friendship.. Let the time decide your destiny.. From my point of view you are into him but you don't want to show your feelings..

Wondergirl · May 30, 2011, 08:52 PM

Originally Posted by marie_bee

Am I suppose to iniate the conversation with him??

That's the problem you are going to have now -- feeling you are supposed to do something. When you were just friends, he initiated the conversation or you did, and it didn't matter which one did. Now it's a lot more complicated. And you can't shove the toothpaste back into the tube.

How can you still be friends -- or can you?

talaniman · May 30, 2011, 09:13 PM

He probably has the same confused, mixed up feelings that you have, and maybe letting the dust settle is the thing to do until you see what changes this event has brought into both your lives.

Maybe then you will both know how you are going to move forward. I highly suggest that you don't repeat this however as things are complicated enough after just one time. Twice might blow both your minds, and we can't have that now can we?

You certainly don't want to be "Friends With Benefits", do you?