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AussieAusten · May 27, 2011, 04:15 PM

Hi, my name is Jake ***** edited out last name for their protection *** and I'm a fifteen year old high school student. I have deep feelings for a girl in my class and I don't know if I should try ignoring my feelings or follow them and tell her how I feel.But even if I should tell her how I feel, I don't know how. We've been friends for around two years now but that's what makes it so difficult. We rarely ever talk to each other unless it's a 30 second conversation about exams and that sort of thing. She is always with her friends with whom I'm acquainted but never speak to. My friends are also always near my side as I am at theirs but most of my friends seem to dislike and one even seems to hate her because she's "weird" or ,as one of them said, "b****y":confused: . I'm also very nervous when talking about or expressing personal feelings towards an individual (as most people are) and if I were to tell her my feelings, not only is there the chance that she will decline them but I would also have to confess to her in front of her friends, my friends and anyone else nearby. I've always had trouble when speaking about such matters in a crowded area and I can't help but think that either my words would get stuck in my throat and never reach her or that my feelings for her would spread around the students in my year like wildfire, thus making me the centre of their irritatingly nosy attentions like I was all the way through primary school. Whenever I think about her and even as I'm typing this my heart starts to burn and I can't get her out of my head. Please tell me if I should confess to her or not and if I should, could you also put suggestions as to how I should go about doing it. Thank you for taking the time to read this. She is also the best friend of a girl whom I had a crush on and confessed to 3 years ago. This just adds to the problems:( .

Homegirl 50 · May 27, 2011, 05:35 PM

Do you have her email address or phone number?
I don't understand why all of her friends or yours would be present when you talk to her.
What happened with you and her friend?

You just take the chance. You never know until you try.

AussieAusten · May 27, 2011, 05:59 PM

I think that I have her E-mail but almost no-one I know communicates through E-mail or video messaging, mainly Facebook but the chances of both of us being online at the same time are very slim. Nevertheless, I'll try and talk to her online if I can. I don't have her number either. Our friends would be present because we don't really go anywhere without our friends. In a school day, I would spend around 5 minutes possibly on my own but even then one or two of my friends might be walking with me just to keep me company or because they're bored. On the matter of her being alone, I only ever see her with her friends so I assume that she spends most of her time with them. And nothing happened between me and her friend, my friends just don't like her much because they think that she's "weird".

Homegirl 50 · May 27, 2011, 06:15 PM

Send her a private message on Facebook.
If she responds positively to you, how are you going to handle the fact your friends don't like her?

AussieAusten · May 27, 2011, 06:49 PM

She already has a vague idea that my friends aren't too keen of her but she doesn't really care about what my friends think of her, mostly because she doesn't really care about them either. I know that you're the dating expert here but I think that ,considering how our mutual relationship is, it might be a better idea if I spoke to her on Facebook chat than confessing on Facebook. Regarding that, I don't know what to say. Do you have any suggestions?

Fr_Chuck · May 27, 2011, 07:14 PM

If your friends are always "with you" and you don't ever have private time, you have other issues, if you really want to talk to her, you will find a time she would be alone, But you don't tell her all of your feelings, you may scare her to death, you talk, and find time to talk more and so on.

AussieAusten · May 27, 2011, 07:15 PM

Originally Posted by AussieAusten

I know that you're the dating expert here but I think that ,considering how our mutual relationship is, it might be a better idea if I spoke to her on facebook chat than confessing on facebook. Regarding that, I don't know what to say. Do you have any suggestions?

Sorry, forget what I said before. It was off topic. But, will confessing to her over Facebook work? I'm not sure what it's like in Chicago but in my area it's seen as cowardly and embarrassing to confess or break up without looking the other in the eye. I know that you're the one helping me and that I shouldn't be replying to your posts unless you asked a question or if there is more information that I failed to present to you but I will always consider confessing on Facebook as a second option if you have any other ideas of how I could confess without the wrong people finding out. If you do then I humbly thank you with all my heart. And thank you for already giving one possible suggestion to me earlier. If you don't have anymore suggestions then I'll follow through with confessing to her on Facebook.

AussieAusten · May 27, 2011, 07:20 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

If your friends are always "with you" and you don't ever have private time, you have other issues, if you really want to talk to her, you will find a time she would be alone, But you don't tell her all of your feelings, you may scare her to death, you talk, and find time to talk more and so on.

Thank you, I will take your suggestion into serious consideration. I'm now in the half-term so I may be able to talk to her online but it's quite rare when we're both on at once. Thank you again for your suggestion.

Homegirl 50 · May 28, 2011, 06:49 AM

Whether you do it on face book chat or send her a message, it is better than having the discussion around all of your friends. Tell her you like her and would like to get to know her better that is not cowardly. You're not proposing to her you are expressing interest.
Why don't you invite her on a date and talk to her then. How old is she? Or send her a message asking for her phone number. I'm not understanding why you would not or could not have a private moment to speak.
If she does not like your friends or they her, how are you guys going to get together without conflict?

AussieAusten · May 28, 2011, 11:38 AM

Ok, I'm going to go through with it and ask her for her number as soon as I manage to contact her. Wish me luck.
And thank you for not only helping me decide what to do but for also giving me the courage to decide to go through with it. I'll tell you her reply as soon as I can.

KyronWallace · Jun 13, 2011, 05:44 PM

Hey Jake, When there your close friend it make it so hard to say you like them a lot, I am 15 as well and in a relationship and have been with her for 3months and 23days, if you want I would be happy to tell what I done, but as for her friends and yours just walk away and if they ask where your going say to the toilet, and then go up to her and ask if you can talk to her on her own, and if she agrees to go with you with out her friends take her as far away from them as possible and if you tell her make sure you back it to them so you can't see them and just look into her eye's and tell her everything you feel about her, or write a poem for her and give it to her when her friends aren't around or put it in her locker or bag or her house I hope it helps but if you need some more help as to how just ask:)