[amicon]

Some days are tough,others less so-and before you know it every day will be a perfectly fine day.

Hang in there!

[Vakantie]

Ok, she called me this morning and I was in shock and answered the phone. She wanted to know how I was doing and give me some information about a phone contract I closed couple of weeks ago(she knows I'm a dork with that lol). It was actually a pretty funny conversation, but now I want to talk to her again and that's just impossible. Strange how NC is always the best solution.

I should not have picked up the phone but I was in shock haha. Now I will try and go back to NC again.
Probably will see her tonight at the gym for a group work out. I'll just say ''hi'' and keep doing my thing.

Just wanted to let you people know!

[Wondergirl]

will see her tonight at the gym for a group work out. I'll just say ''hi'' and keep doing my thing.

I am very disappointed. With Caller ID, you still answered the phone??

No, do not even say hi. How about going to the gym when you know she won't be there?

[amicon]

You were in shock before the phone rang..!

So you answered it?

Who are you kidding?

No contact!

[Vakantie]

Yeah shouldn't have anwered it.. I just didn't know what to do, it was my first time haha. Won't happen again!
And I wish I don't have to go this evening, but I'm giving that work out so I have to go..

So I won't make any contact by myself, but what should I do if she comes talking to me? Still don't say anything? Or give her really short answers?

Thanks for the quick reply! :)

[Vakantie]

Yeah sounds real bad doesn't it.. Maybe I was just a bit happy that she thought of me and called me. Going back to NC and won't be picking up any phones.

Thank you for the quick reply! Was thinking about calling her, but you made it (again) certain for me that it is not allowed to call her!

[amicon]

Phones are not your friends at the moment so stay away from them!!

Change your gym while you're at it!! :-)

[Just Looking]

You can make this easier on yourself by consistently following the guidelines for No Contact, or you can drag it out by giving in to contacts. The latter will keep you in misery for a much longer time. You are in control of what you do and how you decide to proceed. How good would it feel to put this all behind you, concentrate on improving yourself and your life, and eventually finding a mutually satisfying relationship? Seems like a no-brainer to me.

You can see that it was a mistake to answer the phone. When the phone rings now, take a moment to see who is calling before you answer. If it is her, let it go to voicemail. If there are still things you need to sort out (like the phone plan she called about), she can leave you a message. Better yet, proactively clean up anything like that which may exist. Don't give her a reason to call.

It's not unusual to have setbacks. The question is how you deal with them. If you make smart choices, the process is so much easier.

[Vakantie]

Thank you for the great reply! Mornings are tough for me, so to come online here and read a great reply like this really helps me out!

I'm starting to figure out how to handle my own business and not thinking about what she's up to this day. Picking up the phone yesterday was a bad choice, but I know I will not be doing it a second time before I figured out my own life. I have to focuss on myself and finding a new way of life without her. Even though I picked up the phone yesterday, this is my 4th day without contacting her by myself and I thought I wouldn't even be able of doing that.

I'm actually finding some joy again in the things I used to love. Slowly I'm getting were I need to be and I highly appreciate all the comments/feedback you all are giving me. Without that I still would be a total mess.

[amicon]

It's a journey,Vakantie,and you're doing well-soon you'll not even remember how many days you've done NC!

[Just Looking]

That's one of the great things about this website. There are a lot of wise people willing to give you help and willing to support you when you need it, especially when you show you are listening and making progress. We've all been there and we know it is tough. We are hoping to help you make the process easier. I can tell you I spent endless hours on here reading when I was struggling. There is a wealth of info here, and not just about breaking up. I even found comfort in reading the Humor section. I probably spent time in almost all of the forums. It kept me out of trouble and I learned so much, plus I made some good friends along the way. Most importantly, I got past my struggles and now have a wonderful life.

It's just another tool for you, along with your friends, family, school, sports, hobbies, and working towards the life you want.

[Vakantie]

Yes this is really a great website! At most websites you have to proof yourself before the people make you feel at home. Here I felt at home after the first reply! :) Today again was a tough day because it really was a boring day, so I had a lot of 'thinking time'. I tried to keep my mind busy, but still had too much thinking time. Despite that still going NC!

I also feel comfort reading the other relationship posts, knowing I'm not the only one suffering. I know this sounds strange, but this really helps me knowing I'm not the only one in pain. Im going to read the other sections more often now, just to spend some time in here. Getting to know the people better, having fun and getting my life on track! Hopefully when I'm back to 'normal' I can help new people like you are helping me!

Just got out of the gym and tonight I'm going to drink a couple of beers with my friends! Then off to bed. Tomorrow I have to make some schoolwork, then going to watch the Champions League final and after that to a Birthday party! I am really excited about that, meeting new people and having a great time!

[Wondergirl]

It sounds like you are finally making good progress -- and we are proud of you!

[Vakantie]

OK here I am, again with an update!

Yesterday was very hectic. My ex girl stood in front of my home crying and really wanted to talk to me. No, she did not want me back. She wanted to talk about things that happened to her the day before. I let her in and she talked to me how she almost had sex with that guy from the bar and how she felt bad about it. The weird thing was that it didn't even really bothered me. I was just dissapointed in her and couldn't care more. She noticed this and she broke down for a couple of minutes. We talked for a while and she was exhausted and fell a sleep next to me while I was watching the Champions League final. After the final I kicked her out of the house and went to the Birthday party! The party was great had so much fun and we went home early in the morning. Almost home I saw two (drunk) ladies and they were shouting at me. So I stopped by and we had a little chat. She asked me if I wanted to go home with her and I agreed. When I at her home we made out. After a couple of hours I went home because I had to be awake in 3 hours lol.

I should have refused her question for letting her to talk to me, why should I help her after she put me through so much pain. But I feel good about myself that it didn't do me so much about her and that guy. Even though we had some contact I still haven't initiated the contact. So I'm proud about that.

What do you think?

[amicon]

Why even bother lending her your shoulder to ''cry on''?

Her problems aren't yours anymore-next time refuse to be her emotional bandage.

Ok,so you didn't break NC-but you allowed it to happen...

Not ideal..

As for getting picked up by drunk ladies in the streets-make sure you don't hurt anyone by jumping into a rebound...

[Vakantie]

Yes that's the only question I have atm. During these periods she has to figure out what she had and what she throwed away. She made the decision, so I shouldn't be helping her during the hard times of a break up.

And that drunk lady was just fun for a night, we both know there's nothing more...

[Wondergirl]

Yes that's the only question I have atm. During these periods she has to figure out what she had and what she throwed away.

What she THREW (not "throwed") away... and you are being incredibly naïve by talking to her, thus giving HER the satisfaction that she still has control over you. She does, doesn't she. Admit it. So far there has not been real NC.

She made the decision, so I shouldn't be helping her during the hard times of a break up.

No, you shouldn't. So stop already.

[talaniman]

You have allowed yourself to be put in a position of being her emotional tampon, a position better filled by a female friend.

You are to available and accommodating to her, and she will realize nothing while you are. But I doubt she is very attractive to you any way, while she does this, so stop her from doing it as you have not only been demoted to the dreaded friend zone, but the even more dreaded ex turned "GIRL friend zone".

And its directly on your shoulders to stop it. IF you choose too!!

[Vakantie]

Thank you for pointing out the stupid grammar mistake. This site even helps me with my English.

Thought a bit more about me helping her and I won't be doing that anymore. I have/had my hard times, she will have hers. It was her choice so she has to live with it.

Thank you (again) for pointing out the obvious haha.

[Vakantie]

Thank you for the great comment, will put this one in my personal 'diary'.