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emaricela8705 · May 26, 2011, 07:51 PM

I was in a relationship for 9 years with my boyfriend and have two kids with him. We never lived together but when I first got pregnant with my first child he wasn't there to support me. Up until the end of my months. He was always with friends and didn't bother thinking about me. I really wanted him to be there for me and I wanted to marry him and he didn't. Once I gave birth to my newborn everything changes for me. I didn't want to be with him anymore and I didn't even like him touching or holding my baby. It's like I hated him but I didn't know why.

Well I decided to stay with him because we just had a child together and try to see if we could make it work. He wanted me to move in with him but I didn't want so I didn't. We still continued our relationship but I didn't love him no more. So I let it continue thinking everything would get better but it didn't.

3 years later I had another child by him and I thought maybe this time it will work out. I liked him more when I was pregnant I even told him once I have my child we should get married and he was excited too. Once I had her the feelings went away again I didn't want to be with him anymore. I felt suffocated by him, he didn't let me go out with friends. I was always home taking care of my kids while I allowed him to go out with his friends fishing and I couldn't go out with my friends because he said he was afraid that something bad would happen.

I was getting depress and I would have to hide my friends from him so he wouldn't be mad. I know his a nice guy and a good father but I just don't love him anymore and I have no feelings for him anymore. Now that we have broken he sees the wrong things his done and wants to change that but I just got tired of him. He keeps texting me saying how he wants me back and that we are not going to throw away 9 years for nothing. To do it for my kids and him.

I know that's his a good man now and would like to try it again but I know I don't love him. I see him more as a friend. Am I making the right choice?

talaniman · May 26, 2011, 09:59 PM

If you knew what you wanted, then you could make a good choice for yourself. Maybe a separation can help you figure out what you want, so you can make a good choice for yourself.

Take some time to be by yourself and see what it is you want for yourself.

brent.0987 · Jun 9, 2011, 03:39 PM

Only you will know if your making the right choice, but you said that you know you don't love him and see him as a friend but now your asking us if your doing the right choice? If your asking because you feel bad and that maybe because you have kids together if you should stick with him then I understand your confusion. But to answer that, well if you know you don't love someone, then I don't see how you could be with them in a relationshiop.

Now if your asking because you're actually not sure if maybe you do love him or not, well then I don't know what to say, it depends if you really do or don't. Your going to really have to think about that.

lien721 · Jun 12, 2011, 04:58 AM

Please always remember to live life to the fullest, you control your own life not him. From personal experience, I advice you to live your life, love your kids. Just think it thoroughly, in that 9year relationship, what have you done differently if you were not with him? You could have done a lot with your life, if you don't love him anymore then take a time off and tell him that you need time. Think for yourself not him anymore, take some time to think what you really want.