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adviceishere · May 25, 2011, 05:40 AM

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

Love the baby names you picked out. I have my heart on a girl and I wanted to name her Ava Rose. But we had a boy. Oh well. I love him to pieces and now don't think I would want a girl. Funny how it worked out.

Oh I'm so glad you said that! Because I would love a girl but id be very shocked if I did, I just KNOW its going to be a boy and I'm always worrying will I love it if it a boy :eek: I think I even posted a question about it on this before. You have so many anxieties during pregnancy don't you? Really ridiculous ones, my latest one is I won't bond with the baby and I won't love it :(

How old is your little boy? And what's his name?

88sunflower · May 25, 2011, 06:07 AM

Well my heart was set on a girl. When we were there finding out what it was I was so mad. Truly I was. I think the nurse was shocked. But I did grow to love the idea of a boy after we started to buy things and I had some showers and all the cute hats and presents.

After I had him I had some post partum. Not to bad. During labor I went all natural. It hurt. Enough when they put him on my chest like they do I didn't care at that point. They took him and did what they do but my husband held him a very long time before I took interest.

After we came home for about 3 months I had a hard time. My problem was more how he changed my life but nothing changed for my husband. He still had his freedom. He left to go play his sports. He was able to still work. He was able to go shop with out the hassle of the baby. I was stuck. That's how I felt. I had so much resentment towards him. It got better for sure. After I went back to work and found myself again it truly got better.

I am so happy I have my little man. He is beautiful and makes my heart melt everyday. Now that I sit and think a girl would be terrible for me. I am kind of prissy in my own way and I just can't imagine what a priss my girl would be. I think my son was meant to be for sure and for that I am thankful. We named him Gavin Bruce. We chose Bruce for his middle name because my oldest brother and his oldest brother both passed away.

adviceishere · May 25, 2011, 06:24 AM

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

Well my heart was set on a girl. When we were there finding out what it was I was so mad. Truly I was. I think the nurse was shocked. But I did grow to love the idea of a boy after we started to buy things and I had some showers and all the cute hats and presents.

After I had him I had some post partum. Not to bad. During labor I went all natural. It hurt. Enough when they put him on my chest like they do I didn't care at that point. They took him and did what they do but my husband held him a very long time before I took interest.

After we came home for about 3 months I had a hard time. My problem was more how he changed my life but nothing changed for my husband. He still had his freedom. He left to go play his sports. He was able to still work. He was able to go shop with out the hassle of the baby. I was stuck. Thats how I felt. I had so much resentment towards him. It got better for sure. After I went back to work and found myself again it truly got better.

I am so happy I have my little man. He is beautiful and makes my heart melt everyday. Now that I sit and think a girl would be terrible for me. I am kind of prissy in my own way and I just can't imagine what a priss my girl would be. I think my son was meant to be for sure and for that I am thankful. We named him Gavin Bruce. We chose Bruce for his middle name because my oldest brother and his oldest brother both passed away.

Sorry to hear about your borthers'. Well your troubles have put my mind at ease, at least now I know my worries arnt completely nuts! I'm worried about post natal depression too but mainly because I'm bipolar but I will be going straight back on meds as soon as its born so I'm feeling a bit happier about that :) I can go on meds now but I would rather not and my moods have been OK so far, its more anxiety I have now. Thanks for sharing your story Sunny, you have made me feel so much better believe it or not :) :) :)

88sunflower · May 25, 2011, 06:36 AM

No matter how perfect your feeling or how crappy your feeling its your pregnancy and its your story. Every one of us moms can come on here and fill your ears with whatever. But each of us is different. That's all there is to it. But I am sure we all shared the same fears and concerns.

Is this your first? Its going to be fine. You will be fine. Once the baby is out and all the adjustments are made it will all be just fine. I thought people were crazy saying it all comes naturally and things have a way of working out. But looking back I have to say its true.

adviceishere · May 25, 2011, 06:44 AM

Yes its my first. Haha I'm the same, I mean I never wanted kids before, I'm not maternal and I have the weakest stomach ever! I don't know how I'm going to handle vomit and poo! But as you said, everyone says it comes naturally, I hope so, or I will have to hire a diaper changer lol

88sunflower · May 25, 2011, 06:53 AM

Oh I could handle the poo better then the puke. I wish you well. We also didn't want children. We have been together since 1991. We had our son in 2003. The reason is because my hubby is a diabetic and he had a sugar attack one night. A bad one. He wasn't responsive at all. They took him out on a stretcher and let me tell you I saw my life flash before my eyes as I knew it. I thought I was a widow. The only regret was not having children. So we talked about it and within 2 months we were pregnant. The funny thing is the reason for not wanting children was because of his diabetes. He didn't want to pass it on. He was a child himself when he got it and it wasn't good for him back then.

What the heck I am getting all personal today. Lol

adviceishere · May 25, 2011, 06:57 AM

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

Oh I could handle the poo better then the puke. I wish you well. We also didn't want children. We have been together since 1991. We had our son in 2003. The reason is because my hubby is a diabetic and he had a sugar attack one night. A bad one. He wasn't responsive at all. They took him out on a stretcher and let me tell you I saw my life flash before my eyes as I knew it. I thought I was a widow. The only regret was not having children. So we talked about it and within 2 months we were pregnant. The funny thing is the reason for not wanting children was because of his diabetes. He didn't want to pass it on. He was a child himself when he got it and it wasnt good for him back then.

What the heck I am getting all personal today. lol

Haha! Me too! The night me and my partner decided to have kids I got pregnant! I really don't think we thought it all through, but I don't think there is ever a right time to have kids no matter how comfortable you live, you always have the fears of actually becoming a parent! I hope your hubbys illness is under control now

88sunflower · May 25, 2011, 07:08 AM

My hubby is fine. We put him on an insulin pump maybe five years ago and it has been a huge change for the better.

Where is everyone? I think this baby talk scared some of them off. Its not catchy people! Ha ha

Stringer · May 25, 2011, 07:21 AM

Dirty diapers... :(

88sunflower · May 25, 2011, 07:25 AM

We all have to do it. Addy can put her time in as well. You earn your wings this way.

adviceishere · May 25, 2011, 07:32 AM

Haha sorry guys! Think we're done with the baby talk now, glad your hubby is OK now Sunny :)

Stringer · May 25, 2011, 07:33 AM

I was just remembering Addy/Sunny. But I was very fortunate with a fine son and daughter and four great grandchildren.

88sunflower · May 25, 2011, 07:35 AM

Stringer I have a question. Do you interview? If so what exactly makes a great interview for you and what makes you hire? I am confidant when I interview but I didn't get the last job I interviewed for and I was fully qualified, didn't need the benefits was a perfect fit all around. All I can think is I was to quiet and didn't expand past the questions they asked.

Stringer · May 25, 2011, 07:48 AM

Yes, and I only interview those that are qualified, usually four or five people.

When everything is equal between them and they have good references it usually comes down to a gut feel.

Posture, eye contact, proper dress, willingness to work with our systems, intelligent to learn quickly, attitude, working with people, getting things done, ability to work well without constant supervision, etc.

Hope this helps some Sunny.

88sunflower · May 25, 2011, 07:52 AM

Yes it does thank you. Those are all things I knew employers looked for. I interviewed girls a few times but I only had input on the final decision. I didn't make the decision.

I guess today I need to just be a bit louder and talk about myself more. Usually I answer quick and to the point. I don't want to be a babble mouth either. I wish someone sometime would just say hey this is why we didn't pick you and this is what you can do better.

adviceishere · May 25, 2011, 07:58 AM

Originally Posted by Stringer

Yes, and I only interview those that are qualified, usually four or five people.

When everything is equal between them and they have good references it usually comes down to a gut feel.

Posture, eye contact, proper dress, willingness to work with our systems, intelligent to learn quickly, attitude, working with people, getting things done, ability to work well without constant supervision, etc.

Hope this helps some Sunny.

You would probably slam the door on my face! Lol, I have plenty of attitude though :p

Stringer · May 25, 2011, 08:06 AM

Originally Posted by adviceishere

you would probably slam the door on my face! lol, i have plenty of attitude though :p

I doubt that hon.

adam_89 · May 25, 2011, 08:06 AM

Is it safe to come out?

Just Looking · May 25, 2011, 08:07 AM

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

Yes it does thank you. Those are all things I knew employers looked for. I interviewed girls a few times but I only had input on the final decision. I didn't make the decision.

I guess today I need to just be a bit louder and talk about myself more. Usually I answer quick and to the point. I dont want to be a babble mouth either. I wish someone sometime would just say hey this is why we didn't pick you and this is what you can do better.

Hey Sunny,

I used to be involved in the interview process at my firm - an accounting firm, so I thought I'd throw in my two cents. The applicants that impressed me made the interview more of a conversation style than a question and answer style. They knew about the firm, about the job, what they wanted to do in life, could express themselves well, and demonstrated why they were a good applicant. You might consider things you did in your past jobs that made a difference. I remember you were in banking for years, which takes a detailed type person who is personable with customers. That definitely relates to work in an accounting firm. I remember a few of the things you said about your last job where you found ways to save the company money and you were looking to establish policies and procedures - again, very relevant to working in an accounting firm.

Stringer · May 25, 2011, 08:10 AM

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

Yes it does thank you. Those are all things I knew employers looked for. I interviewed girls a few times but I only had input on the final decision. I didn't make the decision.

I guess today I need to just be a bit louder and talk about myself more. Usually I answer quick and to the point. I dont want to be a babble mouth either. I wish someone sometime would just say hey this is why we didn't pick you and this is what you can do better.

Sunny, you can call back after your interview that you didn't get the job and politely ask them to take a few minutes to help you, most people will help. Tell them that you want to improve and any advice would be appreciated. Then get them into a conversation and get details.

When we bid jobs and lose I have my sales people call back for the same reason. And I have them tell them that should things not work out like they expected to please call us.. we will be ready.