[psjj12664]

I'm 47 years old and the mother of 3 sons - 25, 24, and 20. I've been married for 26 years, 27 in November. I handle the finances, decision making, etc. My house was sold in foreclosure on Wednesday. We received notification on Friday. My husband had no idea we were behind in our mortgage, because I chose not to tell him. This is just one in a litany of keeping things to myself, lying to my husband by telling him everything's fine and thinking I can "fix" everything on my own. Logically I know I can't, but I can't bring myself to open my mouth and ask for help. Now its our home that's gone. I know I'm to blame, but how can I start learning to trust others and not keep repeating the same mistakes over and over? Is this some type of illness?

[Jake2008]

There must be so much more to this story, and I hope you will offer more.

It is hard to understand how you can go through the entire process of not paying your mortgage for so long, that your home was actually foreclosed on. What on earth happened during the time where you stopped paying, to where you started packing. Where did the money go.

What did you mean by saying that you can't bring yourself to ask for help, or trust anybody? Trust anybody with what- the truth?

Is there mental illness involved here? Do you have a history of similar behaviour, and do you have any insight as to what has caused this?

This is more than a mistake, it is gross neglect, and deception on your part.It wasn't a matter that you didn't have the money for the mortgage payments (like many thousands upon thousands of other people who are forced into foreclosure who could not make the mortgage payments through no fault of their own), you had the money, and you must have done something else with it- what did you do.

I am trying to understand how this situation came about, why it happened, and what is going on with you that you that has resulted in you losing your home. Nobody here is a mind reader.

Please provide more insight.

[Fr_Chuck]

I doubt that any trust can ever be gained back,

You can start by turning all bill pay to husband, allow him to know what is going on, agree to any budget he may see fit.
Next see if there is a way to save the home after all