Check out some similar questions!

maddy_grace · May 21, 2011, 07:43 PM

Can somebody give me some answers?
I am really conflicted with all of this!
I am too scared to ask my parents whether I am adopted or not, I have asked them once or twice before and they just laugh and say "Why would you ask that question" and quickly change the subject or quickly run out of the room. I have a "brother" who is definitely my "parents". I know this for sure because I went looking around the house for some answers and I found an ultrasound video. I was really excited only to find out that it was taken in 2000 the year my brother was born! Another thing is we were in a shopping center a shop assistant said something to my father about me and he said "oh, no she was adopted!!??"
What can I do! Will somebody please help me out!

Wondergirl · May 21, 2011, 07:46 PM

How old are you? (I have two reasons for asking, and will tell you once you tell me how old you are.)

maddy_grace · May 21, 2011, 07:51 PM

I am 16. Why do you ask?

maddy_grace · May 21, 2011, 07:56 PM

I am 16 :)

Wondergirl · May 21, 2011, 08:18 PM

If you're 16, that means you were born in 1995?

1) Since the 1970s, parents have celebrated adopting children. No one hides the fact any longer. That's why I believe you'd have known from little on that you are adopted.

Two of my nieces are adopted. One was born in 1989, and the other in 1992. Each was adopted by my brother-in-law and his wife around the age of three days, right from birth. There was never any secret about it, and both girls have always known they were specially chosen.

Back in the 1930s and '40s and '50, when a teen girl got pregnant, the entire family was shamed. Trying to keep it quiet, the parents shipped her to a distant relative's house where the girl had the baby and gave it up for adoption without ever seeing it. Then she returned home, acting like she had been on an extended vacation or just "away."

Meanwhile, the delivery doctor or a local lawyer found a married couple who were willing to adopt the baby. The adopting couple even made it seem like the wife had been pregnant all along and whoopsie! Suddenly had a baby. (Everyone knew differently, but all kept the secret.)

2) You are at the exactly perfect age when teens (especially girls) suspect they have been adopted. I was 15, and very carefully tore my parents' bedroom apart when I was babysitting my younger sibs. I didn't find anything. I'd ask my parents about being adopted and they'd just roll their eyes and go back to what they had been doing, thus ignoring me.

I'd spend hours in front of mirrors, checking my features and trying to figure out who I might look like. I was always sure I didn't resemble either of my parents. (By the way, I'm not adopted. I look like my dad.)

I don't know why teens put themselves through this kind of misery about feeling adopted. Maybe it's hormones, and maybe it's because the teens are trying to feel like they belong, trying to find their place in the community and the family.

Without knowing you and your family, I would still bet money on the fact that you are not adopted. Certainly there are baby pictures of you and copies of your baby announcement that was sent out.

You've never seen your baby pictures? How old are you in the earliest photos?

Fr_Chuck · May 22, 2011, 06:20 AM

And if you are, why does it matter, do you know that adopted children, ( in my opinion) are more special. An adopted person was picked, when you have a child born, you are stuck with what you get ( sorry to say it that way) but a child who is adopted was searched for, dozens of kids looked at. And one special child chosen. Then they went and hired an attorney at 1000's of dollars and took for days of work, had to have home inspections and more.
They went to a lot of trouble and time to adopt.

Also you can not go by what the child looks like, I have 5 boys, if I lined them up, and had you pick which one looked like me, guess what you would pick the one child who was adopted. Yep, my adopted child looks ( and acts) more like me than the 4 who were not adopted.

But OK, if you want some things to look for,

The doctor and hospital where you were born, from the birth certificate, when adopted they merely change the real birth parents to your parents. So the doctors and hospital are the ones where the child was really born, If this is from another state, or a city where your parents did not live, this could be a clue ( unless of course they were traveling at the time)