[Wondergirl]

So tell us what it's like to be you.

[EllaOneill]

From the age of 5 having an alcoholic mother that decides she wants to emotionaly blackmail you day in day out, taking the responsibilitie to look after your 2 year old little sister having no money , food , or clean clothes in the house. Getting abused, having to learn by myself to cook and clean. Getting took by socail services.. looking in the mirror each day telling yourself your'll end up nothing like your mother but seeing yourself becoming more like her each day.. drinking at 15 , smoking druggs, getting minipulated by older boys.. getting walked over because you have no care in the world no more. That's what its like to be me!

[Synnen]

YOu can't tell me to go away. You can't decide who responds to your question.

If you were more concerned about your health than about your boyfriend, you would not only TELL him about the STD that HE gave you, you would be DEMANDING an explanation of why he didn't tell you he had it, and REFUSING to have sex with him until he was treated and clean.

But--you care more about keeping a guy who has no problem having sex with a 15 year old (or more than one 15 year old) and not getting tested for STDs and passing them on indiscriminately. He's a jerk, and you want to KEEP him, instead of being completely HORRIFIED and ANGRY with him.

Yeah... I completely question your judgment on this.

[EllaOneill]

Not 15 year olds.. only me? He had sex with my friend but I have no friends my age all older so yeah . And because I don't want to be angry.. I'm angry with myself more than anything okay
Just pelase go away

[JudyKayTee]

from the age of 5 having an alcoholic mother that decides she wants to emotionaly blackmail you day in day out, taking the responsibilitie to look after your 2 year old little sister having no money , food , or clean clothes in the house. getting abused, having to learn by my self to cook and clean. getting took by socail services.. looking in the mirror each day telling your self your'll end up nothing like your mother but seeing yourself becoming more like her each day.. drinking at 15 , smoking druggs ,, getting minipulated by older boys .. getting walked over because you have no care in the world no more. thats what its like to be me!

And where is your "phychologist" father in all of this? He apparently is well educated, well employed, stable - and has money.

Your story has big, gaping holes in it. I don't doubt that you are disturbed. I do doubt that you are telling the truth.

You are so angry at this point that you don't even make sense: "its not about the same boy. and seriously grow the **** up trying to intimidate a 15 year old. trying to make me feel like a right divbo. seriously your on about me to grow up take a look in the mirror. you wouldnt even know if it came and slapped you in the face."

And what is a right divbo?

I hope you seek some help before it's too late - I would think that watching your mother, living the life you've claimed you've led, you would NOT want to be like her instead of following in her footsteps.

And don't assume that every "adult" who posts here has had an easy life. Some of "us" have stories you wouldn't believe. We just don't insult people and spend our lives wallowing in self pity.

And now I'll tell you how foolish (if not stupid) you are (as long as you are busy criticizing "us") - you use your real name AND the clinic where you were treated as well as your age. Your boyfriend is a rapist - yet you give all this info. That's not terribly smart.

[Wondergirl]

from the age of 5 having an alcoholic mother that decides she wants to emotionaly blackmail you day in day out, taking the responsibilitie to look after your 2 year old little sister having no money , food , or clean clothes in the house. getting abused, having to learn by my self to cook and clean. getting took by socail services.. looking in the mirror each day telling your self your'll end up nothing like your mother but seeing yourself becoming more like her each day.. drinking at 15 , smoking druggs ,, getting minipulated by older boys .. getting walked over because you have no care in the world no more. thats what its like to be me!

Now I understand better. You've had a lot on your plate, haven't you. And this guy that you're with now seems to be offering you a grownup kind of love that you've not had before and some stability because he's older.

[EllaOneill]

I never lived with my dad at this time this is why my life has got abit better but I'm not 100% stable. And I isn't wallowing in self pitty its just hard. Could you please help me on how to tell my boyfriend please? Because id rather him come with my tomorrow and both get it treated.

[Alty]

from the age of 5 having an alcoholic mother that decides she wants to emotionaly blackmail you day in day out, taking the responsibilitie to look after your 2 year old little sister having no money , food , or clean clothes in the house. getting abused, having to learn by my self to cook and clean. getting took by socail services.. looking in the mirror each day telling your self your'll end up nothing like your mother but seeing yourself becoming more like her each day.. drinking at 15 , smoking druggs ,, getting minipulated by older boys .. getting walked over because you have no care in the world no more. thats what its like to be me!

So you've had a rough life up until now. Do you think you're the only one? I won't bore you with my childhood tales. I luckily at least had wonderful parents, but I still went through hell.

The difference between you and me, I didn't use my past as an excuse. I decided to break away from my past and become someone better. Yes, I went through a period where I didn't give a damn and I let boys use me. Thankfully I realized that I call the shots. I determine who I am and who I'm going to be. I didn't settle for crap. You are.

So you have a crappy past. Do you plan to have a crappy future? If you continue down this road, that's exactly what you'll have. It's up to you to change your future. We can give you advice, and you've gotten very accurate advice. We can tell you the right thing to do. You have to listen, and you have to decide what to do after all of this.

Right now I'm not holding my breath that our advice will sink in. You're 15 and you think you know everything. You think that because of your past, you're mature. You're not acting maturely. A mature person doesn't ruin her life by having sex with a guy that obviously doesn't give a rat's arse about her. A mature person doesn't do drugs, drink, and sleep around and then blame it on her childhood.

The future is in your hands. What are you going to do with it?

[Wondergirl]

could you please help me on how to tell my boyfriend please? cus id rather him come with my tomorrow and both get it treated.

Do you know if he's been having any problems, like a discharge or anything out of the usual?

[Alty]

Telling him isn't going to be easy, no matter how you tell him. The fact that you fear that he'll leave you (shows how mature and wonderful he is) or worse (is he abusive?) doesn't make it easier.

The only way to do it is to do it. There are no helpful tips. You have to sit him down and tell him.

Were you a virgin when you two met? If so, he can't blame it on you, no matter how much he may want to. If he does, remind him of the fact that you were a virgin.

If you weren't a virgin, or if you cheated on him during your relationship, then he may have a valid reason to suspect that you gave him the STD. Either way, who did what to whom, it doesn't matter. You both need to be treated for this disease.

[JudyKayTee]

You said your Uncle is all right with this situation. Have him there when you tell your boyfriend. Then tell the boyfriend that you had symptoms (presumably you did), you were checked, you've been treated, he needs to be checked. He's either going to accept the news or not. If he has other sexual partners he needs to know and THEY need to know. If you don't tell him and he spreads this around you are being irresponsible.

You say you are mature. Prove it. Tell him so some other woman/girl doesn't catch this STD.

I don't know anything about the legal system in the UK but you live with an alcoholic mother, were taken from the home by Social Services... and your father didn't step in? And how about your Uncle? He did nothing - but he's there now, reading all of this? And he has no problems with you being sexually active when you are underage AND you have contracted an STD?

Maybe it's time to address all of this with your father. After all, he's a mental health professional and you are his child.

And what is a right divbo? You called me one and I'd like to know what it is. We've all had knocks in life. The rest of us don't run around telling people to **** themselves - which is what you've told me. I can't feel sorry for you. You've brought a lot of these problems on yourself.

My colleague, Altenweg, knows what she's talking about, as do we all. We didn't develop attitude. We moved on to try to help other people.

[Homegirl 50]

This boy gave you an STD. He could also be spreading it to others. If he gets mad at you for getting something he gave you it is because he is guilty and wanting to make you feel bad, which looks like it has worked.
He needs to know and be treated and you need to leave him alone. God forbid he gets you pregnant.

[ScottGem]

OMG save me from know it all teenagers who think they are so mature. You have proven over and over in your responses just how immature you are. Going through a hard life does not necessarily make one mature.

Let me tell you why people have been reacting to you has they have. It's because we care. What we see is a young girl making very bad choices with her life. And we are trying to educate you that you are making these bad choices. You have not, irretrievably, messed up your life. There is still time to get back on the right path but you have to understand what you are doing is the wrong path.

Lets look at some of the ways you are wrong. First, you are having sex at 15. Second, you are doing this with an adult that you have only been dating for a month. And that is why he IS a rapist in the eyes of the law. You are under age. That means you cannot legally consent to sex. Ergo, that makes him a rapist.

You claim he is in love with you but you are afraid to tell him about the STD. If he really was in love with you, it wouldn't matter.

Your reaction to what we have said to you, is another indication of your immaturity. Trying to tell us how we can answer your post is a temper tantrum that is another sign of immaturity. You think you should be treated with respect yet you clearly don't respect yourself. As someone else said, respect needs to be earned and you have done little to earn it.

So what do you need to do? You need to break it off with this guy. He is most likely using you. But even if he's not, your sexual relationship is illegal. If he does love you and is not using you, then he will wait for you. If he doesn't, then you should know now rather than later.

Then you need to go for counseling. You need to understand just how immature you are. You need to understand why you are exhibiting self-destructive behavior, and you are!

The most important thing you need to understand is that you haven't completely screwed up your life. But you need to make changes before you go beyond the point of no return.

[JudyKayTee]

Sadly OP admits on the other thread that she knows he's using her - different story here, of course.

[Wondergirl]

Sadly OP admits on the other thread that she knows he's using her - different story here, of course.

If I remember correctly, she said somewhere here (can't find it at the moment) that that was an earlier boyfriend who was using her.

Found it --

this aint even about my boyfriend that advice, its about a different boy. this is my first relationship since