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EllaOneill · May 20, 2011, 09:50 AM

Hello.. I'm 15 and my boyfriend that I have been with for a month and abit is 18. I have found out today I have chylimidia and I know I have catched it from my partner. How can I tell him this because are relationship is going so well that I don't want to lose him but if I got it treated and he didn't that would put me off sex with him? Or any type of sexual intercourse. He isn't exactly understanding when it comes to these things he would twist it saynig I gave him it spread about that I have/had chylimidia and gave it to him? I would really appricate it if anyone could take some time and give me some advice on how to tell him because I would love to have sex life with him without all off this complications. And I am starting to think why I am not going mad at him for giving it to me, so why should he get made if I am willing to stay with him after giving me a STD and just wanting him to get it treated for his own health? Thank you.

Wondergirl · May 20, 2011, 10:04 AM

If you continue to have sex with him and he isn't under a doctor's care for chlamydia, you will be repeatedly reinfected. Is that okay?

EllaOneill · May 20, 2011, 10:08 AM

Yeah that is okay. Um what if I didn't tell him and just carried on using a condom what will happen? And what if he gave me oral sex and I never had it and he still did will he give it back to me through oral? Even if I didn't give him none?

Wondergirl · May 20, 2011, 10:13 AM

He doesn't sound like the kind of guy who wants to use a condom. And you'll put a condom on him when you have oral sex with him? He'll be overjoyed.

"Even though symptoms of chlamydia are usually mild or absent, serious complications that cause irreversible damage, including infertility, can occur 'silently' before a woman ever recognizes a problem. Chlamydia also can cause discharge from the penis of an infected man."

Wondergirl · May 20, 2011, 10:16 AM

In which country do you live?

EllaOneill · May 20, 2011, 10:22 AM

He doesn't like wearing condoms but I make him even oral sex. And I live in england?
So if he went down on me when I don't have the std and he still has it will he pass it back after going down on me?

JudyKayTee · May 20, 2011, 10:30 AM

Yes, he can pass it back to you. You both need to be treated.

If you care at all for your boyfriend you will tell him - chlamydia can cause serious, lifetime problems. If you do not get treated for chlamydia, you run the risk of several health problems.

"For women. If left untreated, chlamydia infection can cause pelvic inflammatory disease which can lead to damage of the fallopian tubes (the tubes connecting the ovaries to the uterus) or even cause infertility (the inability to have children). Untreated chlamydia infection could also increase the risk of ectopic pregnancy (when the fertilized egg implants and develops outside the uterus.) Furthermore, chlamydia may cause premature births (giving birth too early) and the infection can be passed along from the mother to her child during childbirth, causing an eye infection, blindness, or pneumonia in the newborn.
For men. Chlamydia can cause a condition called nongonococcal urethritis (NGU) -- an infection of the urethra (the tube by which men and women pass urine), epididymitis -- an infection of the epididymis (the tube that carries sperm away from the testes), or proctitis -- an inflammation of the rectum.

If you are old enough to have sex you are old enough to handle the consequences. If you can't handle the consequences, then you are too young to be having sex.

Are you prepared for a pregnancy?

Wondergirl · May 20, 2011, 10:34 AM

Isn't 16 the age of consent in England? And you are 15?

JudyKayTee · May 20, 2011, 10:40 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Isn't 16 the age of consent in England? And you are 15?

Great catch - yes, it's 16. Now there's a whole new set of problems.

Just out of curiosity - who diagnosed the Chlamydia?

Alty · May 20, 2011, 10:49 AM

You may not care about your own health, but if you really care about your boyfriend then you have to tell him.

If he leaves you because of it then obviously he's not as wonderful as you think he is.

Personally, I'd be relieved if he left. He's way too old to be having a sexual relationship with a child. He's a predator. Your relationship with him isn't legal.

Do your parents know about this?

JudyKayTee · May 20, 2011, 10:51 AM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

You may not care about your own health, but if you really care about your boyfriend then you have to tell him.

If he leaves you because of it then obviously he's not as wonderful as you think he is.

Personally, I'd be relieved if he left. He's way too old to be having a sexual relationship with a child. He's a predator. Your relationship with him isn't legal.

Do your parents know about this?

I don't know law in the UK - wonder what the responsibility of the Physician who diagnosed her is.

EllaOneill · May 20, 2011, 10:52 AM

Yes that's right?

Wondergirl · May 20, 2011, 10:58 AM

Ella, does your doctor know you are only 15?

Do you know what that means, that you are under the age of consent?

EllaOneill · May 20, 2011, 11:07 AM

I'm a very mature 15 year old and yes I know the law. But my boyfriend can't help the way he feels and nor can I yes my parents know and they have met him and like him they thought differrent before hand but after meeting it is all fine. And I went to brook clinic in the centre of bristol. They dignoised me. Its for under 25's only so yes the legal age is 16 but they help teenagers under the age of 16 to. I don't really care what you have to say about this I find it normal. And at the end of the day I'm happy. I do care about my health this is why I took the test and caught it from him. It wasn't exactly planned now was it?

EllaOneill · May 20, 2011, 11:10 AM

Yes my doctor knows my age and yes I know but becus I went to clinic they don't need no consent if I'm old enough to have sex I'm oold enough to deal with it. And at the end off the day I'm very mature I never said I couldn't deal with the problems but I wanted some advice.

JudyKayTee · May 20, 2011, 11:14 AM

What you and your parents (and the Doctor) think or how you feel is immaterial - your boyfriend is a rapist in the eyes of the Law. All you need is one person to report him - a friend's parent, your parents, someone else.

A very mature person wouldn't be withholding information which could very seriously impact her partner's future health and ability to have children.

EllaOneill · May 20, 2011, 11:17 AM

That's the thing my friends wouldn't do that my family wouldn't if you knew the area I lived in and the people I knew and if you knew me no one would do that to me and my boyfriend plus he isn't a rapist when he found out how old I was he didn't want nothing to happen but he fell for me. He didn't plan it. And I'm 16 in a few days. And I will tell him eventually its hard to just come out and say it. You wouldn't know what he is like and what he is capable to do.

Wondergirl · May 20, 2011, 11:26 AM

Originally Posted by EllaOneill

you wouldnt know what he is like and what he is capable to do.

Yeah, sounds like he loves you a lot.

I wonder what other STDs he will give (or has already given) you.

EllaOneill · May 20, 2011, 11:30 AM

I meant that in a way that my whole life would be ruiend he isn't understandable he wouldn't just say yeah lets go get me treated he would twist it sayi gave it to him break up with me and tell everyone I gave it to him. And I've been tested for everything else thank you! And I have nothing else. It was becus before we got together he had sexual intercourse with one of my friends which have it but doesn't know about it. Stop getting rude please just because I'm 15 it dose not mean nothing. Age is just a number and always will be!

JudyKayTee · May 20, 2011, 11:35 AM

Originally Posted by EllaOneill

i meant that in a way that my whole life would be ruiend he aint understandable he wouldnt just say yeah lets go get me treated he would twist it sayi gave it to him break up with me and tell everyone i gave it to him. and ive been tested for everything else thank you! and i have nothing else. it was becus before we got together he had sexual intercourse with one of my friends which have it but doesnt know about it. stop getting rude please just because im 15 it dose not mean nothing. age is just a number and always will be!

More proof that you are not mature.