Check out some similar questions!

amicon · Apr 13, 2011, 11:10 AM

You don't have to give it a name-just stay focused on not falling off the wagon.

Stick with your decision-you know you can do it.

Cyberhug.

talaniman · Apr 13, 2011, 06:45 PM

Hang in there, and if you have to call it anything, call it your new found freedom.

broken_ heart · Apr 14, 2011, 07:43 AM

Thanks.. I would haven't be able to do it without your help.. I have taken lot time.. can't face myself.. I should have not get involved with him again.. You were always right about everything.. but I listened more of my heart rather than you guys.. that's why I am hurt again..

amicon · Apr 14, 2011, 10:58 AM

Face yourself and work on rebuilding your selfesteem.

See this as a learning experience,and now you can move on to a new happy life.

talaniman · Apr 14, 2011, 11:35 AM

Painful yes, suffering NO! Do what you have always wanted to do to make yourself happy! With him out of your life, you are free to pursue other options and opportunities, that are better than suffering through a bad situation. Its called good clean adult FUN!

vanheart · Apr 15, 2011, 07:21 PM

First of all, congratulations. Whew!!

I agree w/Tal. And everyone.

Remember what its like (or discover again) to be happy.

Without this burden. One-sided. Not happy.
Hes someone you don't need, or even worry about anymore. Out completely.

Just you. Stick with it. Don't fall back on your bad habits. Ever.

broken_ heart · Apr 22, 2011, 10:12 AM

I am not able to come out of the guilt of getting physically involved with him... whatever has happened between us was mutual... and was not feeling bad that time too... but now when it ended and I am thinking about all... I am feeling all used... I don't want to blame him alone.. because I am equally responsible for that or may be more than him... knowing the fact of his marital status... I gave into my feelings... I am going on with these hidden wounds... I keep on smiling for my friends and family but whenever I am alone... I couldn't stop... and burst into tears with this guilt...

amicon · Apr 22, 2011, 10:46 AM

I think you should find a good therapist to help you sort this out.

Sometimes we need the help of a professional to be able to understand why we do what we do.

Your feelings are normal,but it's time you got the right help to enable you to start rebuilding your selfesteem.

talaniman · Apr 22, 2011, 12:34 PM

A good vent, rant, and a cry on the shoulder of a good friend will do you good. One that will listen, and hug you at the end. Maybe an angry letter, and then burn it is also an option, or all the above.

broken_ heart · Apr 25, 2011, 10:02 AM

Today I received his text message in which he has written that he agreed to my decision because he himself was feeling guilty of what all we did and he doesn't want to spoil his marriage life... he didn't marry me and chose her wife.. because his heart says so... and the moments we spent together now will always be special to him and that he has a place for me in his heart... he wrote that... he asked me... that he would love to meet me... to talk to me but just like friends only and nothing more... no physical involvement... and that he doesn't want to lose me as his friend... I didn't reply to his message... because I am not in a state to say or decide anything... I don't trust myself and my decisions now...
So need your help again... what should I say to him.. if he ask me again... I can never understand this guy... I don't want to think anything... he changes so swiftly... every moment he says something new... and his own words make a cross on his earlier one's...

amicon · Apr 25, 2011, 10:06 AM

You d o NOT reply to any of his messages-e v e r again.

Delete without reading them,better still,change your phone number!!

Please tell me you're not about to start this all over again!!

broken_ heart · Apr 25, 2011, 10:09 AM

I am not going to start anything ami... I just asked here for your response... as I said.. that now I will not make any decision related to him specially on my own... he hurted me a lot and I want to live peacefully now...

Stringer · Apr 25, 2011, 10:09 AM

I agree with Amicon, this has to be getting exhausting. Simply do what your head is telling you.. you know that is the right way to handle this. Just stop... period.

Stringer

talaniman · Apr 25, 2011, 12:18 PM

>cyber hug<, for thinking before acting. That's a positive step to take, and deleting his text without reading or replying is the next step.

broken_ heart · May 16, 2011, 09:46 PM

A thought came in my mind, was thinking over it... and I thought whatever question I am having can have the best answer here only... once he said.. that he got best wife.. he loves her and happy with her... if that's the thing.. if a person really loves.. adores and respect his wife... if a person really feels his wife to be the best wife in the world.. will he go to some other woman and have relation... its not about him only... its about the feelings which a person feels... will he do this?

amicon · May 16, 2011, 11:56 PM

Please stop analyzing his behaviour and his possible thoughts.

You don't need to understand where he's coming from-all you need to do is to keep putting your life,without him in in,together again.

broken_ heart · May 17, 2011, 02:22 AM

I am not analyzing his words ami, its just his words have really hurt me a lot.. if his wife is so perfect to him... what for and why he was doing with me... he said several times that he loves me... I hate him for all...

amicon · May 17, 2011, 02:34 AM

Strong feelings of animosity are understandable,but my question to you is-what are you doing in practical terms to get help rebuilding your selfesteem?

broken_ heart · May 17, 2011, 04:11 AM

Ami, I am following the NC strictly... in a good job and getting married soon... with a guy of parents choice... I am happy without him... but still whenever I am alone... these thoughts start coming in my mind... I don't feel upset on what has happened because I know whatever has happened could be wrong but that was my love for him.. I truly loved him... and now when I am going to be someone else part of life... I will be fully committed to him... still something inside is empty... I have all good things around me... everybody loves me... my family... my friends.. and you guys who supported me in my toughest time are there for me... I have learnt to forgive myself... and to him as well... but still these questions come and go in my life... what to say... it was my life... but his words keeps popping up in my mind... sometimes I smile with no reason... and sometimes get lost into thoughts... he was not ready to leave me... I was just trying to understand why these things happen... I have lost something... the trust on love... I am ready to compromise with my life... have lost my smile in all this...

amicon · May 17, 2011, 05:48 AM

You made the choice to leave him,finally-the memories will fade,with time and you'll,hopefully,be able to be happy with your new life.
><