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busdriver267 · May 12, 2011, 11:12 AM

What do I need to do the prepare?

smoothy · May 12, 2011, 11:16 AM

One answer... GET YOUR OWN ATTORNEY.

Cheap out on this and you WILL lose.

YOU are not going to win against an experienced LAWYER representing yourself... that's a fact. They have years of experience and a LAW degree, you don't have a clue where to start and somehow you think you can get enough info to beat someone that knows that law from the internet.

There is a reason why they say... " Any person who acts as their own lawyer in court has a fool for a client."

Lawyers... don't even represent themselves. They hire other lawyers to do it for them.

joypulv · May 12, 2011, 12:55 PM

I once sat through a whole day of court watching about every third person represent himself, and every single one lost. It wasn't family court, but it's the same in just about every type of case. Not only did they get steamrolled by opposing counsel, judges just plain don't like the amount of time it wastes, with half of what you say objected to and sustained. It might be different if your ex didn't have counsel, or if you could get mediation instead.

If you go alone anyway, just be on time, neat and presentable, with papers that document/prove everything you say. Keep 'stories' as short as possible. No he said/she said, no rambling, no interrupting.

busdriver267 · May 14, 2011, 06:57 AM

Thank you for responding again. Others had told us it happens all the time. So we were trying to seek the how tos. We understand now. And have begun our search for an attorney.

busdriver267 · May 14, 2011, 06:58 AM

Thank you. We are seeking an attorney in our area to take on the case.

smoothy · May 14, 2011, 07:09 AM

I know when you hear the costs its tempting to want to do it yourself. But if you consider what you stand to lose by trying. Its money well spent.

Trust me... every preconception of what you would say or think you would try is going to fly right out the door the moment you are sworn in, and in front of a judge. Having fought in traffic court over 20 times the last 30 years, and winning a good portion of them... I still have to have detailed notes and an outline of what I want to say to keep my mind straight when the moment arrives, I know that process extremely well, but I still get so nervous I break into a sweat.. and That is far more informal than your case would be and besides a minor traffic ticket isn't as emotionally demanding as fighting for custody of your child. Your lawyer will be emotionally detached (as well as experienced)... and that is EXACTLY the sort of thing you need most. Emotions will be running high for you and the other parent in the suit.

That's exactly why I gave you that advice. Few people have any or much experience in the courtroom or in front of a judge. And your lawyer will tell you EVERYTHING you need to know, and need to have.

ScottGem · May 14, 2011, 10:10 AM

Family Courts are less formal. So it is more common to find people going pro se (without counsel). But, if the other party has an attorney, the odds against you are astronomical. I don't know who is advising you, but do they know you will be going up against an attorney?

Also, are you initiating the case or is the other party?

One source of preparing yourself is a local law school. Many have clinics that can help you prepare strategy and paperwork.

P.S. if you have follow-up questions or info, please use the Answer options rather than Comments.

Fr_Chuck · May 14, 2011, 12:22 PM

I will agree, if both of you don't have attorneys, you both go, tell story to the judge, he orders you to mediation and to work it out, and that is normally it.

The first question is , how big difference is there, what do they want and what do you want, is it merely a few days difference, or is it a large difference.