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Needshelp11 · May 13, 2011, 10:56 PM

Ok my ex broke up with me but she still wanted to be friends. Oh and we where together for 9 months and when she broke up with me I lost it really bad and I looked really desperate. I kept talking about the relationship for about two weeks to her and I even said that I hated her in a text but later I apologized and she accepted it but it still looked bad. One day after I finally didn't text her for the week I said that it was hard for me to deal with those feelings because I never had them before and that it wasn't the real me. I told her to think back when we first started to date that I really don't act that way and that wasn't the real me. And I asked her to see if she could leave a door open for me so I can show her that I'm not like that when we hangout as friends. So she took the week and told me that she didn't want to be friends and that we should just stay as co-workers. Now at work she won't talk to me or anything it's like I'm not even there. So what should I do? Can I get her back or is it too late? If I can get her back how do I do it? I really miss her and I know that for sure because I went out on a date or two and I could think about was her.

amicon · May 14, 2011, 01:26 AM

She's doing no contact as best she can-as you work together.

It's pretty clear that this is over-all you can do is go as little contact as possible;a polite' Hi' if you bump into her and then distance yourself.

Break ups are hard-time though is on your side-you'll get over her.

Homegirl 50 · May 14, 2011, 07:46 AM

There is nothing you can do but accept that she has broken up with you.
You cannot make some one want to be with you.
She is trying to give you the space you need to get over her. Leave her alone.

talaniman · May 14, 2011, 05:31 PM

Just because you are not ready to date others means she is the one for you.

Give yourself a lot more time before you look for romance, and just have good clean adult fun until you get over her, or learn how to deal with your feelings.

Hopefully, you will do both.

Needshelp11 · May 19, 2011, 02:22 PM

Ok when my ex and I broke up I flipped out really bad on her. So after a week of not flipping out she texted and said that we should just stay as coworkers. When she told me this I didn't flip out and kept my cool and told her that it was fine with me just being coworkers. 2 more weeks went by and I really started to hate it at work because if we ever worked together it would be really quiet and awkward. So I texted her that we should be friends because of what work is like. Then she replied with "every time i try treating youblike a friend you freak out! I know what you're talking about, we don't talk at work. But i don't know if i can trust you anymore." then I reminded her that I didn't flipout when she told me that we should just stay as coworkers. Then she texted me back that you we can be friends. Ok now that I'm her friend how do I gain her trust back so I can get her back as my GF because I really like her.

talaniman · May 19, 2011, 09:14 PM

You are lousy at taking hints aren't you? You may well win her trust as a friend, and co worker, but never again as a romantic partner. Even being friends with hope of regaining what you once had is dishonest since you have a hidden agenda. That's not fair, or right to be conniving for your own purpose.

Bottom line is you cannot make someone like you again, so be a friend, and co worker, just like you agreed to, while you get over her, and end this unfair deception.

amicon · May 19, 2011, 11:07 PM

You can't force friendship on anyone,and it's pretty obvious that your ex's trying to be polite-as you work together-so do the dignified thing and leave all false hope in the past and realise it's over.

Then start rebuilding your own life.